Help me get over this crush!

(7 Posts)
Orangeblossom92 Mon 14-Jun-21 19:46:18

Help me. I have a stupid, predictable, very annoying crush on someone who is unavailable. I am also unavailable (happily married, DH and I have been together since we were teenagers). We know each other through our kids, we have to see each other on a daily basis. I am the ultimate cliche (bored, fed up, no identity outside of “mum”) and he is extremely good looking, charismatic and pays me quite a lot of attention. It started with harmless daydreaming and now it’s become a bit overwhelming. I am getting so fed up of fancying him; I feel like my day revolves around the interaction I have with him. It’s pathetic, like I’m 15 again (and I really don’t want to be 15 again!!) Help me to get over this please! (I’m thinking gross mental images/affirmations/some way of switching my brain back to normal).

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Orangeblossom92 Mon 14-Jun-21 20:48:40

Bump

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Time40 Mon 14-Jun-21 21:11:10

It actually doesn't sound as if he's being very kind to you. He probably knows the effect he's having, and he's doing this to stroke his own ego. Does that sound likely to you, OP? I think the first thing I'd do is to see him as a possibly cruel person - try to put yourself off him that way.

The second thing I'd do is to try to minimise my contact with him. Is that possible at all? Don't have long chats with him. Keep your interaction short.

I am the ultimate cliche (bored, fed up, no identity outside of “mum”

The third thing I'd do is work on this. You need some interest in your life, and an identity outside of being a mum.

Good luck, OP! I hope you manage to break the spell.

purrswhileheeats Mon 14-Jun-21 21:29:28

I've got a crush on a guy at work too, it's mutual and driving me mad. I want to fuck him into next week aaaargghh, I think the hot weather is making us all horny?

youvegottenminuteslynn Mon 14-Jun-21 21:36:01

he is extremely good looking, charismatic and pays me quite a lot of attention. It started with harmless daydreaming and now it’s become a bit overwhelming. I am getting so fed up of fancying him; I feel like my day revolves around the interaction I have with him. It’s pathetic, like I’m 15 again

You don't sound very happily married if you're this preoccupied with someone else?

I guess the best way to stop it is to imagine your husband's face if he heard you speak about your crush on this guy and how intense it is? It would be so sad and hurt I bet. That's the image that would cut it dead for me.

Orangeblossom92 Mon 14-Jun-21 21:51:51

I am happily married in the sense that I don’t ever want to be married to anyone else (or even be in a relationship with anyone else), but I suppose after such a long time together, the butterflies start to dwindle a bit.
I would be devastated if I thought that I had hurt DH, I think paying more attention to how this would make him feel if he ever found out is a really good tip.
I don’t think the crush is being cruel, but I think he does enjoy the attention. I’ll try keeping the chats brief from now on.

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youvegottenminuteslynn Mon 14-Jun-21 21:55:31

I would be devastated if I thought that I had hurt DH, I think paying more attention to how this would make him feel if he ever found out is a really good tip.

I would try that then. And also imagine reading your first post as if your DH was writing it about another woman and you happened to find it. Imagine how that would feel even if he said he still loved you and wouldn't act on it. Would still hurt like hell wouldn't it?

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