I feel so guilty writing this. All I wanted was a family. I have a 4yr old and a 1yr old. For 4 years I have been trying my hardest to help my son be happy. He's been so difficult since the start.
He is 4 years old and still constantly wets the bed and poops in his pull up at night. He wears pull ups at bedtime because of this, he wees right through them and 'saves' his poo for night as well. Every single evening or during the night we go in to a mess.
He has a potty in his room, we have tried sticker charts, books, explaining, bribing, being patient... it isn't working.
He mostly wees himself during the day, he goes through 4 or 5 pairs of underpants.
For most of his life he has been unhappy. Mostly crying and screaming. Didn't start talking until he was 3, very touchy.
Now that he can talk his mood is generally angry. He says nasty things. In public he screams at us not to touch him. People stare.
He slapped me across the face the other day as I stopped him doing an activity he was enjoying (time was up at swimming).
He refuses to eat 'tea' type meals. Point blank refuses. Again we have tried everything mentioned above. He eats sandwiches and some fruit and veg. Tea times are mostly screaming and crying.
Just on the way to the park this morning he stopped walking and demanded to be carried, he screamed and cried, really started sobbing. He is too big to be carried. So we had a meltdown to deal with on the side of the road.
He talks a mile a minute all day constantly.
I barely talk to my husband as there is no let up.
My 1 year old is constantly crying. I'm really not exaggerating. She just cries all day every day. She cries because she wants her shoes on, she then cries because she wants them off. Same with a jacket, hat etc. I've put her down for a nap because she's just non stop crying, won't eat any lunch etc. She's still just crying.
I can set them up with activities in the garden and they will both just find something to cry about. Crafts and messy play will result in tears.
With the 4yr old I'm at a total loss. He doesn't seem to learn from his bad behaviour that what he says and does upsets people. He just keeps doing it.
Everyone is constantly stepping on eggshells around him. We need to go home from the park and he has both me and his dad bribing him and convincing him to come home. "We can do xyz, you can have a lolly, it will be great etc'
I like to think I'm a good parent. I work hard to give them a nice environment. They have plenty of days out, trips to the park, toys and stimulation.
Also they have lots of love, plenty of cuddles and down time, movie afternoons, chilling with cebeebies.
I'm totally at my wits end. Neither if them are happy.
My husband and I are exhausted. We are both now on antidepressants and haven't had sex for a year. Intimacy has gone.
We don't get any time to ourselves.
In the evening we are usually changing and washing pjs and bedsheets and the 1 yr old cries for most of the evening in bed.
We recently went on holiday (local ish, to a cabin) and my husbands mum came with us.
She was very surprised at our evenings, which were spent going up and down the stairs trying to stop the 1yr old crying, bringing her down, giving her milk etc and then trying to sort out the 4yr old and his pull ups, sheets, toileting.
Most of the activity we did on that holiday they both just screamed at.
I expected parenting to be hard of course. But this is excruciating. Relentless. I can't make anyone happy. I can't give up either.
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I've had enough but no escape
48 replies
treefox3513 · 12/06/2021 14:00
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