But can't seem to get in the right frame of mind to do something.
I'll try to cover all points.
I'm a size 14 bordering 16.
I FEEL like a whale.
I've always been around a 14 mark. Once crept to 18. But at a very stressful time in life where an ex was EA. I decided the only thing I could control was my weight.
I became obsseed. But in the wrong way of starving myself or taking laxatives.
I got to a size 10. Always comments saying I looked ill etc. Looking at photos yes I did!
I then met now dh. And I was happy in life.ate properly etc.
Then had dd after that I stayed around a 14 but squeeze in some 12s.
We had ds last year. And since then I just can't get in the frame of mind to do things properly.
DH works long hours.
Dd since return to nursery is really demanding and generally hard work.
Ds constantly cried if not attached to me.
I have a teen who is well. A teen!
I seem to always be on the go like many many others. Ds keeps night waking which me and dh do together one to try keep him quiet not to wake others and one makes a bottle he has eating issues so this is hard to try and stop extra bottles as he'd lose weight.
DH always says how much he loves me, I'm being a bit silly about my weight Im not as big as I think. He doesn't care if I'm a size 8 or 38. Which I belive he believes that but I can't help but think ' how can he' I have saggy skin and stretch marks.
I walk as much as I can when dd in nursery as she wouldn't walk as far as me. So I take ds in long walks but that ends up stressful as he screams in pushchair after 30min and will not sleep on the move.
I starve myself all day so I don't feel guilty at eating a dinner. But then I'm so hungry I eat all evening.
I don't know what I'm writing this for.
Everything I see says 'love yourself, love your body' but I struggle to work out how to.
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Hate my size, pretty much dislike myself.
9 replies
IhaveMyMoments · 04/05/2021 20:21
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