I'm so upset with new neighbours

(222 Posts)
hedgedrama Mon 19-Apr-21 15:11:33

I started a thread a good few weeks ago here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4195576-I-need-some-Mumsnet-sense-knocking-into-me

And to update on the hedge, they basically tore it down. Despite the agreement that some would be left. They have offered to buy me some new hedging for my side. I was sort of OK with it all, I didn't end up having much choice, just as people warned me on the first thread but I tried to just let it go and not create a war. The (probable) nesting birds was incredibly upsetting, but it was just too late - they sort of did it anyway.

But today has really been a new level of awfulness. They brought in some diggers to landscape the garden to install their astroturf, and I noticed something moving. It was a frog. As I paid more attention I could see literally tens of frogs so I went out and bearing in mind our gardens literally are joined at the moment as there is no fence or hedge, I went onto their garden could see there were a LOT of frogs being caught up with the digger.

The driver of the digger stopped when he saw me come over into their garden, and when I said there are frogs here, he was like <shrug> "Yeah I've seen loads"

There was a natural pond there for years. It is breeding season, and as I went over I can see frogs everywhere trying to escape for their lives.

The owner of the house came out and we started to catch some and move them into my garden, but there were honestly everywhere. I said "you can't just do this. It is against the law. You are intentionally killing frogs etc.".

They have stopped the works and they have been out and caught about 60 frogs (no exaggeration) in a bucket and I have taken them to a local pond (within a mile as the wildlife conservation trusts recommend).

But I now have a message from them that they are starting work with the digger tomorrow again and will be on "frog watch".

I am so upset they would have just killed the 60 odd frogs that I put in the local pond, about how many have died already, but then also that they are going to start work tomorrow without being sure they have captured all the frogs.

AIBU? I feel so disgusted. I have called the council Environmental Health and am waiting for a call back, but I don't know what else to do??

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cervixuser Mon 19-Apr-21 15:22:07

I remember your previous thread and that was bad enough. This sounds terrible and I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with it all. I honestly don't think there is anything else you can do but I'm going to text a friend who works for the Wild Life Trust and ask him if he knows

hedgedrama Mon 19-Apr-21 15:26:35

Thank you @cervixuser

It is actually really distressing

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smudgemylife Mon 19-Apr-21 15:28:26

Sounds absolutely grim, what thoughtless men!
I know it's no consolation, but I am really happy you went out and stood up for them and tried your best to help. 60 frogs is better than no frogs being saved and fingers crossed you get a phonecall soon.

CatrinVennastin Mon 19-Apr-21 16:01:18

I remember your previous thread OP. Your neighbour is a dickhead.

Poor frogs. I can understand why you are upset.

I don’t understand why some people don’t respect nature and just need to bend everything to their will in order to end up with a manicured garden.

hapagirl Mon 19-Apr-21 16:06:12

Your neighbours are awful. I’m sorry OP. I don’t think I could ever be friends or even neighborly with such people. We love and value all of our frogs. I know my DH wishes we had a more manicured garden but love the ramshackledness of our garden and he has given up trying to convince me and DDs otherwise.

imalmostthere Mon 19-Apr-21 16:08:40

They're paying someone to do their garden, honestly how long can they postpone due to some frogs? They've caught them, they're going to be on the lookout tomorrow.
I feel like really distressing is a tad far confused

cansu Mon 19-Apr-21 16:12:44

You are getting far too involved.

picklemewalnuts Mon 19-Apr-21 16:15:52

I'm afraid there are a lot of people simply not interested in anything past their own interest.

You may need to get used to going out when things are happening- you'll make yourself ill stressing about it, otherwise.

fluffedup Mon 19-Apr-21 16:17:05

You have my sympathies OP, my neighbour has destroyed loads of mature trees in their garden, and I think there is more to come. The impact on wildlife is immense.

What I don't understand is, mature gardens add value to a property, if you want the sterile look, why not buy a new build where everything has already been razed to the ground? You can comfort yourself (a bit) by thinking of the damage your neighbour has made to their investment.

PatrickBatemann Mon 19-Apr-21 16:19:04

cansu

You are getting far too involved.

Unpopular here, but I agree.

You seem to be constantly dictating to them. Butt out.

CliftonGreenYork Mon 19-Apr-21 16:19:33

Its not your garden and you have no right entering it and have gone to far in calling the environmental health. I love frogs but they are wild creatures in the same way worms and cockroaches are - would you be so concerned if they were killing non cute animals?

Divebar2021 Mon 19-Apr-21 16:20:58

AstroTurf? Yuck.

RedcurrantPuff Mon 19-Apr-21 16:22:39

It is awful about the poor frogs and the wildlife but why are you spending so much time looking at the goings on in their garden?

KindleRemote Mon 19-Apr-21 16:24:42

Would you be complaining if it was a nest of pigeons or rats?

CheerfulBunny Mon 19-Apr-21 16:24:55

How horrible and upsetting for you to witness. I don't understand people who don't care for living things. Not in any way comparable but the first thing my new neighbours did when they moved in last summer was completely flatten their back garden including the removal of a large shrub which was home to all kinds of small birds like blue tits, house sparrows and wrens. I used to love watching them squabble and play and the diversity of them was amazing. Now we only get a few wood pigeons, the small birds have disappeared all together despite my attempts to encourage them with a bird table and feeder. Sure, it's their garden and they can do as they please but it's lain empty for all those months when the birds could've used the shelter. They are now laying decking and planting bamboo. The astroturf will probably follow, no doubt...

Bluntness100 Mon 19-Apr-21 16:26:50

I think you need to stop being so involved in what your neighbours are doing in their garden. It was their hedge, it’s their garden, you can’t be going in and dictating like this.

I understand your upset about the frogs, but they likely would have been fine, we have a stream and plenty frogs and I need to get the bush cutter out on the banks and I’ve never killed one, they move bloody fast. You don’t even know if there were birds in rhe hedge or not.

Look the frogs were moved, they won’t have found any birds nests becayse I’m sure you looked very closely indeed, but now you need to back off and let them do what they wish in their property and stop interfering.

imalmostthere Mon 19-Apr-21 16:29:18

Agree with pp that you're far too involved with your neighbours business - cannot believe you've called the council and environmental health. You're setting yourself up for a feud and an awful relationship. You really cannot dictate what they can and cannot do on their own property.

Oversize Mon 19-Apr-21 16:30:37

You'll make yourself ill if you keep over reacting like this.

hedgedrama Mon 19-Apr-21 16:31:02

Dictating to them? I am not sure about that. I feel like it is the other way round! I just get told the hedge is coming down, for example. It isn't a discussion, or at least not one they have honoured in any way. I have been without a fence of hedge now for coming up to 4 weeks - no discussion or apology.

I am interested that people would be happy to see frogs destroyed willingly, who are part of our natural ecosystem and not be bothered. And just be 'huh, oh well, only a hundred frogs'. I guess I don't get that and would have thought anyone with common decency would do something about moving the frogs before the destroying their pond. There are laws against it, probably because we decided it's not great to destroy the habitat of our wild animals on a whim.

As for me entering their garden - well there is actually no fence or hedge at all at the moment and don't worry - they have been doing it to mine all the time over the last few weeks and I guarantee there has been no consent given for that at all.

OP’s posts: |
Cally62 Mon 19-Apr-21 16:31:10

You're neighbours sound very much like mine op. Selfish inconsiderate wildlife killing *%nts.

I'm so sorry that this is happening...at least you've managed to save some of the frogs.

Is there a wildlife rescue nearby, police wildlife officer, rspca anyone who could help with rescuing the rest of the frogs.

I'd be on the phone calling anyone and everyone who I think may be able to help.

Oh...I think worms and cockroaches are cute. Where would we be if everyone had the same attitude towards non-cute wildlife.
It's only a frog, it's only a worn it's only a fucking ant. We'd all be completely fucked without them.

Bluntness100 Mon 19-Apr-21 16:35:11

I feel like it is the other way round! I just get told the hedge is coming down, for example. It isn't a discussion, or at least not one they have honoured in any way. I have been without a fence of hedge now for coming up to 4 weeks - no discussion or apology

It is their hedge, if you wish one you need to plant your own op.

hedgedrama Mon 19-Apr-21 16:35:58

imalmostthere

Agree with pp that you're far too involved with your neighbours business - cannot believe you've called the council and environmental health. You're setting yourself up for a feud and an awful relationship. You really cannot dictate what they can and cannot do on their own property.

They are 'property developers' - doing it up, live there for a year (tax reasons) and then sell it.

OP’s posts: |
hedgedrama Mon 19-Apr-21 16:36:25

Bluntness100

*I feel like it is the other way round! I just get told the hedge is coming down, for example. It isn't a discussion, or at least not one they have honoured in any way. I have been without a fence of hedge now for coming up to 4 weeks - no discussion or apology*

It is their hedge, if you wish one you need to plant your own op.

It's a shared boundary

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imalmostthere Mon 19-Apr-21 16:38:09

@hedgedrama
And? That's still a year of drama you could easily avoid. They own the land, they can do what they like. If you want a hedge on your side, you need to plant one. They don't need to discuss anything with you, it's not your decision. Honestly, you need to stop interfering.

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