Funeral flowers - can I have some advice please?

(13 Posts)
annacondom Mon 19-Apr-21 13:04:24

Funeral coming up of a relative I was fond of but not especially close to. I'm not able to go to the funeral. Should I send flowers? I have no idea about the convention here. Do I send them to the crematorium? To one of the closer relatives? The funeral directors? What happens to the flowers? Thanks for any thoughts.

OP’s posts: |
idontlikealdi Mon 19-Apr-21 13:07:52

No - most funerals I have been to even pre covid were family flowers (immediate family) only and a donation to a charity close to the deceased and or their family.

Nice as they are flowers are £££ to just chuck in the bin at the end of the ceremony.

I'm sorry for your loss.

murbblurb Mon 19-Apr-21 13:09:39

As above, they are just a waste. (Look at the mess round Windsor castle). If you call the funeral directors they will know the donation request, or just donate to any charity you support.

Mumdiva99 Mon 19-Apr-21 13:11:22

In my experience a card to the bereaved with a lovely memory of the deceased in it means more than some flowers.

Mrsjayy Mon 19-Apr-21 13:12:03

I'd send the person who lost the relative some sorry for your loss flowers or a wreath to the crematorium.

Mrsjayy Mon 19-Apr-21 13:12:57

But yes mostly it is family only flowers these days.

Justforphoto Mon 19-Apr-21 13:13:11

another option is if you send say a week after the funeral the closest family member a bunch of flowers. The period after the funeral can be incredibly flat and hard and receiving flowers is a nice reminder that people are thinking of you.

ParkheadParadise Mon 19-Apr-21 13:16:38

It depends
If the funeral is in the crematorium I wouldn't send flowers.
If it a burial then I would send flowers to the funeral directors to be placed on the coffin.
I would also send flowers and a Mass/ sympathy card to the bereaved.

Candleabra Mon 19-Apr-21 13:22:41


As above, they are just a waste. (Look at the mess round Windsor castle). If you call the funeral directors they will know the donation request, or just donate to any charity you support.

I agree. The flowers around Windsor made me very cross. Especially as the royal family had asked people not to bring flowers but to make a donation to charity. So much money wasted that could have been used for good causes.

SweatyBetty20 Mon 19-Apr-21 13:28:11

We've just had the flowers from my brother's cremation service put on my parents grave - just family ones only. What has really made me feel better is the number of cards, texts, messages, and letters which I've received, telling me how much he'll be missed or reminiscing about him. I also got lots of flowers and plants, which were just a beautiful bit of life in the house during such an awful time.

Sandcastles24 Mon 19-Apr-21 13:44:38

I would send flowers unless the family are requesting that donations be made to a charity instead. Easiest way to find out is to phone the funeral director and ask. Some families love flowers others prefer only the direct family to do them. The convention is very mixed. Sorry for your loss x

annacondom Mon 19-Apr-21 15:57:45

Thanks, all. I agree with you about the waste of money, both because I've had very little income this year but also bc it seems to be so fleeting - there were wreaths at my DM's funeral but I was in such a daze that I couldn't tell you who'd sent them or who hadn't sent any. It depends what you mean by 'family' - if only her partner and children, not me, then. I don't know who the funeral directors are, and I've not been told anything about family wishes re flowers, only the place and time of the service. The idea of sending flowers to her Dd later on is a nice thought. Thanks once again.

OP’s posts: |
annacondom Mon 19-Apr-21 16:01:02

I like the idea of sending a card with reminiscences - thanks, MumDiva and SweatyBetty. I have some photos that I can get copied for her DD, too. xx

OP’s posts: |

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