My ds is 2 years old. My dh appears to be overflowing with joy and delight everyday at being a dad and has said he wants more. I think ds is gorgeous and smart and i love him but the thought of looking after him fills me with terror. I feel trapped by motherhood. Im a working mum and im ashamed to admit that i love the relief of escaping to work where i can relax and do something im good at. Ive told dh i dont want any more children and he is very disappointed. But what im too ashamed to say out loud to anyone is that im not feeling any happiness being a mum, to me it all feels like horrible stress and hard work and i wonder if i regret being a mum? Obviously ds is here now and theres no changing that but i have this stabbing guilt inside that maybe i wouldnt have allowed myself to fall pregnant if i knew what life as a mum would be like? Please no judgemental comments i already feel like the worst person in the world
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