Anyone up? I'm here freaking out about my newborn

(58 Posts)
Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 02:51:10

She was born on Friday after 38 hours of a traumatic labour ending in an epidural forceps episiotomy and blood transfusion. Since then I've seen 4dirty nappies and only one solely pee which was last night. Today she's been dry as a bone all day. My milk still hasn't come in but I don't think she's latching right, I just gave her a wee bit of formula there, just so she has something in her tummy. I'm praying for a wet nappy. I'll be so happy if I could get a wet nappy out of her. The midwife is coming tomorrow morning anyway but now I'm just sitting here with her in my arms freaking out that there's something wrong with her. She's sleeping quietly, I know I should just put her down and sleep but I can't.

OP’s posts: |
sarahc336 Mon 12-Apr-21 02:53:26

How did she seem with the formula? Like starving or not too fussed? Is she settled within herself? Xx

Mintjulia Mon 12-Apr-21 02:58:34

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ivfbeenbusy Mon 12-Apr-21 02:59:09

With my older DD they said newborns can actually go a few days without needing any milk as they use up existing energy reserves. She may well be wee ing but it's so small you aren't really seeing it

Have you tried hand expressing to encourage your milk to come in? I had twins by traumatic emergency c section in January and it took about 2 days for the milk to start to come in

TanteRose Mon 12-Apr-21 03:01:55

please do NOT give your newborn baby any water - it is very dangerous.

You need to give her some more formula - she is in danger of getting dehydrated, if she isn't already.
can you pump some breastmilk and give it to her?

GlendaNorth Mon 12-Apr-21 03:02:38

You can always ring the birthing unit and ask them. Lack of wet nappies is a bit of a worry but they may reassure you and will be better placed than Internet people. Good luck.

turtletum Mon 12-Apr-21 03:08:08

It sounds like you've been doing all you can, so no need to panic. I'd recommend trying to get her to feed every 2 hours, if you think she's dehydrated, which sounds possible if she's got dry nappies. Try breast first, as colostrum is nutrient dense so less will be needed than formula. If she seems to not be taking it in, then you could try expressing milk and then spoon/syringe feeding? Then try formula, via syringe, cup or bottle.

Does she seem sleepy and hard to wake? Most newborns are dozy, but if she's struggling to stay awake when feeding, then try stroking her cheek, tickling her feet, to keep her awake enough to keep feeding. Feeding her every two hours is tiring but will keep you both going until your midwife can see you and offer professional advice. 2 hours means from the start of one feed to the start of the next.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

SmednotaSmoo Mon 12-Apr-21 03:11:22

I’d try a bit more formula every couple of hours tonight, but actually give a call to the discharge number you had.

(This does not mean the end of your breastfeeding journey)

summerisler Mon 12-Apr-21 03:12:32

I would give the labour/post labour ward a call and let them know, rather than waiting for advice here. They may want you to bring baby back in and after such a traumatic birth you might be in need of some extra support while your milk supply gets established. I had a 30 hour labour, episiotomy, forceps delivery and blood transfusion with my first so I sympathise with you. It’s very tough but it does get better. How often are you putting baby to you for a feed? Lots and lots of skin to skin contact should help and making sure you’re feeding every 2 hours.

Kb12 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:16:08

Agree with above poster.

Do not give her cool boiled water.

TanteRose Mon 12-Apr-21 03:20:05

FYI

www.businessinsider.com/why-newborn-babies-cant-drink-water-dangerous-2018-9

AuntLucy Mon 12-Apr-21 03:25:17

Hi @Cathcat41 congratulations on your baby. I assume since your milk isn't in yet, the dirty nappies are the tarry/brown/toxic green ones of a newborn, and not yet the liquidy-yellow of breast-milk poo? I'm sure you know this but a weed-in nappy won't feel wet to the touch, but the centre will feel more solid and a little crunchy, and a little bulkier - its a texture change. So if the poos are meconium, and you're pretty sure there's little or no wee, then I would call your birth unit and ask to come back in, either now, or first thing.

They can check for dehydration, and help you express colostrum to spoon feed, if you're having trouble with latch. They can also help you with latch, and show you tricks to keep her awake enough to feed (removing clothing layers so she's cooler helps during a feed).
Don't worry about calling them
In the middle of the night - birth units are by definition 24/7 operations, and the concept of day/night doesn't apply to tiny newborns and their mums.

You aren't going to be getting any sleep tonight anyway, what with feeding and worrying, and they're open for business right now, so if right now is when you need them - for medical help, or just for reassurance, then right now is when you call them. I hope things get better in the next 24 hours, and you're doing a great job watching out for your precious baby x

Subordinateclause Mon 12-Apr-21 03:28:12

I'd ring discharge for support. You're not going to sleep anyway and already the second post here has given outdated advice. I'm sure she's fine but you'd be as well checking. I'd imagine they'd encourage you to wake her two hourly for a feed but I'm not a health professional. My daughter struggled with breastfeeding at first but I went on to feed her for over a year so it doesn't mean things won't turn around.

oakleaffy Mon 12-Apr-21 03:32:22

Sounds really good advice from Aunt Lucy above.. Good luck smile

Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:35:45

Thanks for your messages. My milk hasn't come in yet so I've been trying to give her the colostrum just. I've struggled to latch her since we got home, I've up 90ml of the aptimel ready made first milk the I bought just incase (thank god I did) and I've been giving her a little bit of it every couple of hours now. She drank it really quickly so I'm just giving her a bit at a time to let her get used to it. I can feel her farting away in my arms here. She's sleeping and doing her usual waking as soon as I put her down so I don't think she's overly drousy. I'd rather have her in my arms and me not sleeping for a night than putting her down and something bad happen. I feel so guilty, I just want her to be ok. It's 3.é0 in the morning now so I'm going to wait for the midwife in the morning and if need be take her to the hospital to get checked. Sorry for ranting. I just feel so overwhelmed. X

OP’s posts: |
Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:47:19

AuntLucy

Hi @Cathcat41 congratulations on your baby. I assume since your milk isn't in yet, the dirty nappies are the tarry/brown/toxic green ones of a newborn, and not yet the liquidy-yellow of breast-milk poo? I'm sure you know this but a weed-in nappy won't feel wet to the touch, but the centre will feel more solid and a little crunchy, and a little bulkier - its a texture change. So if the poos are meconium, and you're pretty sure there's little or no wee, then I would call your birth unit and ask to come back in, either now, or first thing.

They can check for dehydration, and help you express colostrum to spoon feed, if you're having trouble with latch. They can also help you with latch, and show you tricks to keep her awake enough to feed (removing clothing layers so she's cooler helps during a feed).
Don't worry about calling them
In the middle of the night - birth units are by definition 24/7 operations, and the concept of day/night doesn't apply to tiny newborns and their mums.

You aren't going to be getting any sleep tonight anyway, what with feeding and worrying, and they're open for business right now, so if right now is when you need them - for medical help, or just for reassurance, then right now is when you call them. I hope things get better in the next 24 hours, and you're doing a great job watching out for your precious baby x

Thank you so much. Yes to all of it. She did her dark poos when we where still in the hospital. I've been both hand expressing and trying to get her to feed, with no milk in just yet as you can imagine there's not much coming out but it is there. I'm hoping my milk will come in asap. I don't think I could actually have a phone conversation with the unit tonight, I'm just crying uncontrollably, I know it's also my hormones kicking in but I can't speak at the minute. But your message was lovely. I'm going to give her the rest of this bottle when I wake her in an hour and hopefully see a wet nappy soon. If nothing changes by the morning I'll take her up to the hospital. Xxxx

OP’s posts: |
ChooChooThomas Mon 12-Apr-21 03:48:29

Rant away, there’s always someone hear to listen or to help.

I remember with both of mine it was day 3/4 when my hormones went to shit post-birth and that overwhelm feeling. It’s exhausting and terrifying but amazing too having a newborn.

I reckon do give the postnatal ward a quick ring, they won’t mind, and it’ll reassure you at least. Then try and have a little snooze yourself. Do you have a partner who could watch over baby and maybe give a little formula if she wakes again?

Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:49:36

I also wouldn't dream of giving her water.

OP’s posts: |
ChooChooThomas Mon 12-Apr-21 03:50:38

X-post with you OP.
It’s going to get better, I promise. Even if it’s just the sun coming up soon.
Take care flowers

AuntLucy Mon 12-Apr-21 03:51:35

You're doing great, glad she's got some liquids. Her stomach is only tiny - just the size of a walnut - so she'll only take small amounts and that's ok. If you need her to go down so you can sleep (and you do NEED to sleep sometime sweetheart - you must be shattered after the birth and the worry x) then a good tight swaddle, and a hot water or radiator to heat her bedding before putting her down, helps with the transition from arms to cot. Or spend 2 mins on the lullaby trust website for their good advice on safer co-sleeping (which for me, and a lot of people, was literally the only way I could get any sleep at all for the first few weeks).
Hope the rest of the night is better, and your milk comes in tomorrow x

Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:53:30

ChooChooThomas

Rant away, there’s always someone hear to listen or to help.

I remember with both of mine it was day 3/4 when my hormones went to shit post-birth and that overwhelm feeling. It’s exhausting and terrifying but amazing too having a newborn.

I reckon do give the postnatal ward a quick ring, they won’t mind, and it’ll reassure you at least. Then try and have a little snooze yourself. Do you have a partner who could watch over baby and maybe give a little formula if she wakes again?

Yeah. He's laying here snoring beside me being very chill about the whole situation. He's a very chill person which is good in a way but frustrating right at this second. I don't think I'm overreacting by giving her formula, but maybe I am by not sleeping all night and worrying.

OP’s posts: |
Cupcakefairy12 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:54:35

OP keep trying with the latch tonight but please give her formula in the mean time if she isn’t taking. she should be probably having 30-40ml every two hours. It absolutely doesn’t mean the end of breastfeeding and I’m sure tomorrow you’ll get all the support you need from your midwife but she needs to drink and get some wet nappies. Well done momma you’re doing an amazing job though. X

Cathcat41 Mon 12-Apr-21 03:55:33

You're all so kind. Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
AuntLucy Mon 12-Apr-21 03:56:04

(Sorry - a but garbled on last message -typing with my own 3 month old asleep on me! / i meant 'warm the bedding on a radiator or with a hot water bottle, do she has a nice warm sheet, and then putting her down into a clear cot)

User322495y Mon 12-Apr-21 03:56:25

I have no idea if it's the same got girls but I had this with my DS at first, I had to stay in hospital for s bit do thankfully I was still there but they put some cotton wool in his nappy so they could see if he was weeing. He was/did!

I'd keep doing what you're doing and waking every 2 hours for more formula and speak to the midwife in the morning.

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