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Well done! You did it! You had a vaginal birth

(110 Posts)
faithfulbird20 Fri 05-Mar-21 06:51:12

I heard that a lot in hospital recently and it I was wondering why. Just had my second vaginal birth but I was going to be taken for a c section and honest to God. I was terrified, I wouldn't be able to do it. I think people should also say well done for dealing with a c section because it's scary. You should be congratulated for both.

Ps the congratulating was done to other woman (not me...although I know I will get it when midwife comes to see me)...

OP’s posts: |
CarlottaValdez Fri 05-Mar-21 06:53:58

I’ve only had one but can’t recall anyone saying that. Maybe a weird policy/ quirk at your hospital?

FuckyouBrennan Fri 05-Mar-21 06:54:10

How bizarre. Why is a vaginal birth something to congratulate? Surely people just congratulate you on having had a baby?

FuckyouBrennan Fri 05-Mar-21 06:55:16

Oh and I’ve had 3 c sections and didn’t need a well done. It’s not scary. I was congratulated on my new baby each time. I would find it very strange and patronising if someone congratulated me on having a c section.

Annoy Fri 05-Mar-21 06:55:31

I was terrified at the thought of a c section. Thankfully I didn’t have to have one

BitOfFun Fri 05-Mar-21 06:55:40

I just can't believe that anyone routinely says "vaginal".

FTEngineerM Fri 05-Mar-21 06:56:17

You’ve literally just had a baby? Congrats 🥳

I don’t think there’s any ‘easy’ way to give birth. Squeezing a human out of your vagina or the sunroof both have their complications.

I distinctly remember thinking everything would be fine/easy if I had an epidural because I wasn’t coping with sideways head pain.. nope then I turned into a potato and couldn’t even pee myself. Cue UTI/forceps/spinal block/episiotomy/episiotomy tear & infection

Soo.. well done everyone.. you did it grin

Same4Walls Fri 05-Mar-21 06:56:42

I've only had one child but no one congratulated me on the way I gave birth. Where on earth do you live that this is something that happens? confused Surely people just say well done on having a baby no one ever mentions the means by which they arrived.

HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat Fri 05-Mar-21 06:56:44

Without context it's hard to know. Maybe they were frightened and thought they couldn't, maybe they were vbac and worried, there could be a multitude of reasons it was said.

blackbettybramblejam Fri 05-Mar-21 06:58:13

Macy’s because they knew you were booked in for a CS?
Congratulations on you mr lovely baby 👶

blackbettybramblejam Fri 05-Mar-21 06:58:29

Your** not you mr!

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur Fri 05-Mar-21 06:58:44

It's definitely a slightly weird thing to focus on, I think however you give birth it's pretty amazing.

FakeFruitShoot Fri 05-Mar-21 06:59:28

I always say well done to friends who have given birth, whether vaginal or caesarian birth. More because they grew a fucking human rather than because they ejected the human from their body!

Did they say "well done for having a vaginal birth" or "how was the birth" "vaginal" "oh well done"? In which case the well done was probably coming anyway!

SkankingMopoke Fri 05-Mar-21 07:00:05

That's bizarre. It's basically congratulating effort on something you had no control or choice over - "Well done for not having potentially life-threatening complications and needing treatment for them".

DinosApple Fri 05-Mar-21 07:02:11

I had a no pain relief, forceps delivery and a huge tear that left me traumatised. If anyone had said that I'd have told them to fuck off.
Fortunately, no one did! My elective c section, on the other hand, was lovely.

Evaevap Fri 05-Mar-21 07:02:39

I had this. I also got congratulated on not tearing - as if I had any control!
I got the feeling a straight forward, vaginal, no stitches needed birth just made the midwife's job easier. A "congratulations for getting and easy one"?
No idea what I was meant to say to that confused

Aroundtheworldin80moves Fri 05-Mar-21 07:02:55

I've had two children without pain relief. Apparently that's something to be proud of...

Honesty... The thought of epidural terrifies me. Gas and air sends me loopy (I've had it for injuries before). Apparently I had a reaction to pethidine when I was born. And I've been fortunate enough to have straight forward, quick births and I'm one of the weird people who don't experience much pain in labour. Plus the second time, I knew I had done it before.

End result... A baby. Same result as the mother who had al the pain relief going or the csection.

DinosApple Fri 05-Mar-21 07:04:01

Congratulations btw flowers enjoy your lovely newborn.

Evaevap Fri 05-Mar-21 07:04:08

**an easy one

Champagneandmonstermunch Fri 05-Mar-21 07:04:21

I had a midwife tell me well done for having a natural birth. It has always struck me as odd, particularly as I had been screaming for an epidural and the only reason I didn't have one is that things progressed too fast. It was hardly an achievement on my part! It wasn't that natural either given it started with induction, and ended with Ventouse!

MiniTheMinx Fri 05-Mar-21 07:05:02

Annoy

I was terrified at the thought of a c section. Thankfully I didn’t have to have one

I was terrified at the thought of vaginal birth, thankfully I didn't have to have one.

You see we are all different.

What a patronising and stupid thing to say OP. It reinforces the idea that anything less than natural birth, even if attended with forceps and ongoing issues is a personal failure.

Meredithgrey1 Fri 05-Mar-21 07:08:08

Without context it is hard to say, I find it odd to think the midwife says this to every woman who has given birth vaginally. Maybe there is a background, maybe the woman was terrified, maybe she spent a decent part of labour insisting there was no way she could do it, maybe she’d had a previous c section and really wanted to give birth vaginally (not that it would have been a “failure” if she hadn’t, but if it was something she really wanted the midwife isn’t really going to talk her out of that after the fact, when she could just congratulate).

Inthevirtualwaitingroom Fri 05-Mar-21 07:19:45

Perhaps this person it was said to needed congratulating.

Inthevirtualwaitingroom Fri 05-Mar-21 07:20:41

congratulations on your baby though op.

SpiderinaWingMirror Fri 05-Mar-21 07:26:13

May be she had a c section before and had a hope for a natural birth all over her notes?

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