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If you found yourself single in your 50s, how would you set about creating a social life?

(7 Posts)

TrainingAim Sat 13-Feb-21 21:19:56

Let's assume things get back to normal and we're allowed a social life.

I'm not interested in a relationship, but I'd like to get out and about a bit. I have friends, but it's amazing how many of the things we do together are as couples. Maybe it's lockdown, but they seem to have disappeared now I don't fit into their groups in the same way.

I belong to a sports club and have lots of acquaintances through that, nice people who I've know a long time, but have never moved many from acquaintance to friend.

I should say I'm not actually single, but DH is no longer able to participate in social things due to illness, which is very sad, but he is keen that my life shouldn't stop completely as a result.

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StevieNicksIsMySpiritAnimal Sat 13-Feb-21 21:22:43

Volunteering on a local conservation project has brought a whole new bunch of friends for my 50+ cousin.

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fastwigglylines Sat 13-Feb-21 21:25:36

I've made brilliant friends from feminist organising over the last few years.

Not suggesting feminism specifically (although if you are a feminist, get involved!) but generally activism, voluntary work or other activities where you work together to actually do something you feel passionately about - possibly even something quite challenging - is great for creating bonds.

Are there any local campaigns you might be interested in getting involved with? Are you political at all, or are there any single issues that interest you?

What sports do you play? Are you in a team? If not, could you be?

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fastwigglylines Sat 13-Feb-21 21:27:08

StevieNicksIsMySpiritAnimal
Volunteering on a local conservation project has brought a whole new bunch of friends for my 50+ cousin.

Cross post! This is exactly the kind of thing I mean. You're not all just there to hang out, it's an activity with a real sense of purpose and that encourages people to bond in my opinion.

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thecatfromjapan Sat 13-Feb-21 21:27:38

Join a special interest group. Take a course.

I think the key part is in deciding you intend to make friends, not acquaintances - so be proactive about moving to finding out more about people in the group, socialising with people you then discover you like, suggesting things like gojng for a coffee, doing other things with them.

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TrainingAim Sat 13-Feb-21 21:31:21

thecatfromjapan
Join a special interest group. Take a course.

I think the key part is in deciding you intend to make friends, not acquaintances - so be proactive about moving to finding out more about people in the group, socialising with people you then discover you like, suggesting things like gojng for a coffee, doing other things with them.

Yes, this is what I struggle with. I'm delighted if someone (anyone) suggests coffee, but it feels presumptive for me to do it.

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MenaiMna Sat 13-Feb-21 21:51:06

I would love it if a "university of the third age" existed near me. If you're near a large uni there might be one where you can audit classes of interest for reduced fees and no credit?
I'd volunteer in a museum or charity with focus subject of interest to me.