Not a windup but genuinely asking if this is normal for relationships after many years (and in a bloody pandemic!) or if this might signify something amiss.
I do love DH and we get on quite well, communicate well, etc. Been together ten years now and felt silly in love for most of that time, despite several hardships and challenges (RPL, IVF). Happily now have a healthy DD who is 18 months and love her to bits.
I work out of the home (nurse-key worker) and DH has been home since March (WFH, not furlough). We are obviously very fortunate to both have jobs and be healthy. But. He literally doesn’t leave the house except for the occasional nursery run or weekend walk with me and DD. His office opened briefly in August and he was gone a few days but otherwise has been at home since March. I love him to bits but find he’s getting on my nerves sometimes. Long, greasy hair and stained pyjama pants every day aren’t the most romantic (I’m not glamourous myself of course) and we’re almost too familiar now (never been especially uptight about bodily functions but feel like I’m at a boys club with the wind and humor DH makes of it.) Nothing serious but just that sort of thing. On the bright side, I love him and we laugh so much together and he is so supportive (critical care nurse has been such a stressful job this past year) and he is a lovely father to our Dd.
But DH took DD out this morning to nursery and I just felt such a sense of relief to be home alone and have space from him. I also realise I’m also happy to have a few minutes alone in bed after putting DD down for the night whilst he’s downstairs doing the washing up or looking through his phone. Then we’ll sit together and watch something on Telly and have a cuddle and we both enjoy that.
But. Sometimes also when we have sex I’ll briefly have a thought of another person (perhaps a celebrity or someone especially fit I’ve seen at work that day (staff not patient, and not someone I know or chat with-just someone who catches your eye.) I then immediately feel guilty and can’t enjoy sex anymore.
Does this seem normal for a relationship gone on ten years or is it a warning signs that things might not be going well? I would appreciate any thoughts or experience that you can share. Feeling quite rubbish about this and generally speak to DH about things, but don’t feel I can bring this up with him right now. Xx
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Irritated by DH, AIBU?
7 replies
AmIBoredorAmICrackers · 12/02/2021 20:33
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