Hi all. I really hope you can advise and help me. We have been looking into adoption for a while now, we dont have any children, together or from previous relationships. We have looked into the adoption process last year, spoken to a few adoption agencies. But we have had to put the process on hold as I had major surgery. So, I was watching Trying (series) and one episode entailed that they had to track down their ex partners (if they had a relationship over 12 mths and longer), to get a reference from them. Now, I'm 44 and my partner is 46, we have been together 7 years and we both have a past. But neither of us have ANY contact with any of our exs and I personally definitely dont want my ex being part of my future. We have both experienced some form of abuse and bad experiences with past relationships. One of mine ended when I was 23 and the other when I was early 30s. I understand that adoption agencies need a picture of who you are. But is part of the process actually involving contacting exs? Is this the same for fostering ? We are so desperate to give a child or children stability, it saddens and makes me feel very upset that exs are going to be involved in that decision and to be honest I dont want them to know anything about me and my life. Please can you let me know if this is true. Thank you for listening.
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