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How to figure out what makes you happy

(13 Posts)
Lovingwfh Sun 17-Jan-21 09:17:34

Just this really. I suffer from depression but also a massive procrastinator in life. I am in a big slump but want to feel happy.

Lockdown has been a huge time of reflection for many, how have you worked out what it really is you want from life, what it is that makes you happy?

I’ve had two recent bereavements so feeling quite lost and off balanced I think.

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Lovingwfh Sun 17-Jan-21 09:49:13

Hopeful bump

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Gemi33 Sun 17-Jan-21 09:50:14


I'm exactly the same as you. Suffering with depression and anxiety, unhappy in my job and never really had any hobbies or passions and just feel like life is passing me by.

I really want to to get myself in a happier place and focus on what is really important but I don't think I know what makes me happy. I just feel lost.

It's really hard isn't it? Would love to hear if others have managed to do this?


Bailegangaire Sun 17-Jan-21 09:51:02

When you imagine a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, even in the most fantasy way, what is it you see?

tellthem Sun 17-Jan-21 09:58:46

I made a list of the main things I'd like to do / achieve, then broke that down into smaller steps and just started doing them whether I felt in the mood to or not.
eg wanted to be earning X amount in my job and be able to work part time. so found out the first step of training I needed to get into that in a couple of years time and booked myself in

knew I enjoyed holidays but the thought of planning always put me off.. so on my list of "must do's " one day i booked 3 holidays for the year and got it all out the way together.

i signed up to aps which tell me when bands / theatre i'm interested in is happening and started booking tickets immediately when I got the notifications i was interested in, rather than "oh that looks nice, ill think about getting a ticket later..."

SynchroSwimmer Sun 17-Jan-21 10:04:59

I made a list of what made me happy on a day to day basis - actually really little things that just contribute to the bigger picture.

Working out that simple things like swimming keeps me being me and happy, a little yoga, some stretching, reaching out to one person once in each day, a fragranced body oil for winter skin, burning some fragranced uplifting oil, feeding the birds, listening to a favourite radio broadcast.

All little things, but a regular routine that creates a sense of calm and wellbeing.

Lovingwfh Sun 17-Jan-21 10:08:24

Thank you for all the replies.

Yes - Gemi, this is how I feel exactly.

Spending time with my family makes me happy but also want to give my children nice things/opportunities I never had. I feel backed into a corner at work, like my role but not the company (I think) but no idea if there is a job out there that would make my heart sing.

I’m really struggling to identify what is fulfilling to me. I feel like am treading water whilst losing valuable time.

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Lovingwfh Sun 17-Jan-21 10:10:38

Cross post with synchro. The little things also pass me by so a good place to work on.

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tellthem Sun 17-Jan-21 10:25:02

get in touch with recruitment agents and let them know what you're looking for. there will be jobs popping up that you just wouldn't have noticed and when you find out about them give applications and interviews a go. its useful to even just meet other companies to help you realise what you want or aren't getting in your current place, even if the interviews aren't ultimately successful right away.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Sun 17-Jan-21 10:30:19

It's a bit of a cliche but try to be kind to yourself and not try to do/change everything at once.

Try to make time every week for some small things. For me these are:
A walk by water (at the moment the local duck pond is mostly having to do, but it's better than nothing!)

Taking time on a walk to notice things and take photographs, even if I delete most/all of them later

A bath with a candle, wine and nice oils

Music - remembering to play some every day, even if it's just a couple of songs whilst chopping vege for tea

Moisturiser morning and night - a nice smelling little ritual!

Lovingwfh Sun 17-Jan-21 11:04:01

Thank you all, lots to think about

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KatherineJaneway Sun 17-Jan-21 15:10:44

What makes me happy isn't always what I want to do though.

Today I went on an hours walk. I didn't want to go but knew I needed to. On arrival back I was very glad I went but I do not always feel that before I go.

TwoHundredThousandTimes Sun 17-Jan-21 15:24:38

I am also interested in this.

I have had a dreadful 3 years and have been so unhappy.

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