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How to get over a 5 year relationship?

(5 Posts)
Mally2020 Sat 16-Jan-21 22:28:48

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of five years, after 2 m/c's and a slightly turbulent young relationship, I planned my whole life around him ( I'm young mid 20's ) and thought he was going to propose in march at our five year mark. While I moved away for 9 months to work and study he went to stay with family he didn't know that well, in the space of five months he has been totally brainwashed by them to believe covid is a hoax, trump is the supreme leader etc. (they are the tame beliefs) after confronting him and telling him to keep in check with his views and that they could get his family in trouble (including telling me my degree is worthless) it ultimately ended. He wasn't like this and I'm devastated , all I received was abuse of his family to the point I'm really struggling. How do you move on after such a long and serious relationship? thanks x

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LouiseTrees Sun 17-Jan-21 00:06:19

Will first off remember he isn’t the man now that you fell in love with. This is also going to sound heartless but but imagine you had a kid and he brainwashed your kid. He’s clearly not that bright if he’s able to be brainwashed easily and if you have a degree you are clearly a bright young woman who deserves better. He clearly has little critical thinking ability and values his family more than you or your relationship. You need someone who respects you.

partyatthepalace Sun 17-Jan-21 01:46:27

Good lord. Well you dodged a bullet there OP, because he seems a little lacking when it comes to critical thought.

Five years is a long time, it is going to take a while. And of course right now everything is hard. Try and keep yourself as busy as you can right now, and make some plans to really do some interesting stuff when Covid is over. You will move forward by getting into action, just be patient.

Stompythedinosaur Sun 17-Jan-21 01:49:26

Give it time and fill the times you would have been with him with friends and hobbies.

Also picture how acutely embarrassing it would be to be dating a covid-denying trump supporter. You've definitely dodged a bullet!

Mally2020 Sun 17-Jan-21 13:05:03

haha thankyou everyone, I have been going through stages of not caring and then feeling really sad and anxious. I think it's mainly the fact for a long time he was my bestfriend and we spoke literally every day for the entire time. His aunt wouldn't even let me ring him to get some of my possessions back (not small possessions, laptop etc) and she was being quite condescending picking his phone up for him shouting at me that I'm stupid and that he never loved me even though he is literally a grown ass man. She also works as a manager of a popular tourist destination hotel up north and it makes me so bloody angry she puts her customers in danger by encouraging no mask wearing etc. It's just been a lot to process

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