Having a large gap between my kids. When I became pregnant with my 3rd and final my oldest was 12 (so really not that big of a gap) Yet the amount of people that were astounded and even told me.
I just like very plain food. Can't abide garlic, any sort of vinegar, mayo, Italian food - pasta, pizza etc., goats cheese, Camembert, blue cheeses etc.
It appears a meal can't be produced outside of my home without including something from the above.
I have stopped eating out or at friends'/relatives' as the stress just isn't worth it. Apparently I am some sort of alien! ☹️
Having a child at 22. Being divorced by age 23. Being on benefits for 4 years. Not bothering with further education. Having a father in prison. Doing elf on the shelf. Not knowing how to drive. Using bleach. And probably a lot more.
Being reasonably successful in my career and having a decent income (when I was working). I was made redundant in June last year due to the organisation I worked for closing down, but some people still judge me and it seems to be because I am confident and marginally intelligent.
Having a baby when I was a teenager Having a council house Having 7 children Having children with medical issues and daring to make sure they got appropriate help and support Being a sahm
Born in the mid 50's within a VERY Irish Catholic family. I was often referred to as, "The Divil's Child", (not misspelt - how it was pronounced), and blamed for ruining my mother's life. 😂😂😂
Unsurprisingly, I have been NC with any of them for 30 years plus.
For not having children. I changed Drs as she lectured me when I went in for the pill as she said I'd get to 57 and regret my decision (not quite sure why that age but hey ho)
I responded to that thread just a few minutes ago. Pretty much everything I've ever done with and for my dc has been judged by people commenting on there.
I'm fat; I sent my dc to nursery when they were between 7-9 months old; I sent my dc to nursery even when I had a day off; my dc stayed over with various relatives several times before they were 6 months old; I live in social housing; I feed my dc ready meals; I don't have much in the way of ambition; both dc were bottle fed; they play out on the street unsupervised (or, at least, they do when we're not in lockdown)...
I could go on but it's a bit depressing. I'm not bothered by how other people see me but a lot of people are and will read that thread and then worry about the things then do that are just normal and that most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at.
What do people actually mean by "being judged" - someone forming an opinion of you that is more negative than you think is fair? Or do you mean someone has confronted you on something or acted differently towards you?
I'm never quite sure what this means in MN threads. Often just seems to me it means identifying where people's priorities or preconceptions differ?
Raffles has given a good example of what she means.
For not having children. I changed Drs as she lectured me when I went in for the pill as she said I'd get to 57 and regret my decision (not quite sure why that age but hey ho)
Wow. Specifically judgemental. You were right to change doctors.
When my 4 year old was 3 (pre covid), he CRAWLED through the supermarket. It was gross. I was definitely judged. However he is finally having an autism assessment, was too big for the trolley and went mental every time I touched him. And I had my two year old with me in fact, I judge myself.
What do people actually mean by "being judged" - someone forming an opinion of you that is more negative than you think is fair? Or do you mean someone has confronted you on something or acted differently towards you?
I'm never quite sure what this means in MN threads. Often just seems to me it means identifying where people's priorities or preconceptions differ?
Raffles has given a good example of what she means.
This is all fair. I suppose it means when people form unfair opinions on you based on small specific aspects of your life.
Apart from extreme examples it really does just come down to a difference of opinion. But I can disagree with someone without looking down my nose at them. I suppose that's the judgey part- looking down on someone for something and assuming it "sums them up" in some way.
I guess it's a shorthand for "assumed to have some sort of moral failing". Eg thinking someone has some character flaw because they're overweight - if you set it out like that it's a nonsensical and illogical conclusion, so says more about the "judger" in that case!
