Nudes on DH's phone

(6 Posts)
BubbasMumma Wed 13-Jan-21 21:44:59

Was looking through DH's photo gallery on his phone and found pictures of nude/semi nude women. Now these pictures aren't sent by women themselves rather DH's friends send these pictures to one another on their WhatsApp group for a bit of 'banter' sometimes. All very light hearted always. He was sat right behind me on the sofa so I wasn't doing anything sneaky. I've seen such pictures before and have asked him to delete them as they make me feel uncomfortable knowing that they are there in his phone.

However, this evening while I was browsing through his gallery just looking at pictures he took of our toddler, I saw the WhatsApp folder with these random semi clothed women. I didn't say anything but he soon got up to go into the kitchen and snatched (literally!) his phone from my hands as he left. We don't ever look through each others phones but have always been comfortable enough with each other when one of is using the others phone.

I just kept quiet and he figured I saw what I saw and started being too nice (which he really is!). I told him I'm not stupid and stayed quiet as my mind was running a marathon of thoughts. He said to me that if I think he's cheating on me then I still haven't 'understood' him. I know he's not cheating. He's not a cheater. Extremely loving and a wonderful dad to our toddler. He said he took the phone off of me before he left because seeing those pictures would hurt me. If he knew those pictures would hurt me, why did he not delete them earlier?

I'm just really really sad this evening. He's a wonderful wonderful man and I love him to absolute bits. He's my everything. He and my little bubba are who I genuinely live for. I feel so so sad tonight.

OP’s posts: |
SheldonesqueIsUnwell Wed 13-Jan-21 21:54:55

You say he is not a cheater?

And yet that was his first denial/turnaround to you.

I’d not be convinced. And I’d not be convinced that he was such a good man either. A grown family man sharing pics of naked women for shits and giggles? All ‘lighthearted’?

Let us hope your little bubba isn’t a girl and has to put up with men being lighthearted over her naked body one day.

Ask yourself exactly why you are sad because a good man shouldn’t make you feel like that.

LochJessMonster Wed 13-Jan-21 21:57:23

Are these images that they are finding online? Or are they sharing nudes of women they have dated/are dating?

One is immature and a bit gross, the other is deplorable.

FolkAreWeird Wed 13-Jan-21 22:01:22

He sounds extremely immature! How old is he? Are his friends all single?

It's complete inappropriate for a man who's in a relationship to have pictures of (half)naked women on his phone. The fact that you've told him before that this bothers you and he still keeps them says a lot. He has no respect for you.

Sorry you're feeling this way. I think you should speak to him again and make it crystal clear how you feel and what you want him to do about it (delete the pictures, and any others that he's sent).

Thisisworsethananticpated Wed 13-Jan-21 23:02:38

One thing is that my WhatsApp photos automatically save to phone
But even so , who are his mates ? Eeeew

Milomonster Wed 13-Jan-21 23:07:27

Not appropriate. If he is as happy and loving as you sound, I’d be questioning why.

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