Vow renewal

(18 Posts)
JorisBonson Mon 11-Jan-21 18:24:42

Posted in weddings but also here for a bit more traffic...

DH and I had to postpone twice last year, and in the end we just buggered off and got married on our own (it was brilliant).

Our parents are keen for us to do a vow renewal as they weren't part of our day. I'm not fussed either way but we still have money in the registry office we'd otherwise lose so why not 😂 it was only planned to be 22 people originally and this probably won't change.

All being well, we'll do it around our wedding anniversary and then a "reception" afterwards for all our friends (I'm guessing people will be gagging for a party by then too).

Does this sound shit? We won't expect presents from anyone, just for them to come for a knees up.

Also, would it be totally crap to run the renewal as an actual wedding, have my dad walk me into the room with music, flowers etc?

I will insist on a new dress though since the dry cleaner couldn't get the mud and red wine out if my original one 🤦🏻‍♀️

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wowfudge Mon 11-Jan-21 18:28:05

Lots of people do exactly this and have guests come along thinking it's the actual wedding when it isn't: why not.

Floralnomad Mon 11-Jan-21 18:28:38

I wouldn’t do it , you had a wedding , it sounds like it was fun and you’ve said you are not fussed and are only doing it for your mums benefit . Just have an anniversary party .

snowy0wl Mon 11-Jan-21 18:28:51

I think this sounds lovely. One of my friends is doing the same after their wedding had to be postponed last year.

StillMedusa Mon 11-Jan-21 18:32:45

My DD2 and her dh are doing similar.. they got married in October with just 10 of us (it was lovely) and are hoping to have a re run next September with a party for the guests who couldn't come. It will be held, as the original was, at her dh's family home in Scotland with a big party in the barn.
She's hoping to wear her grandmother's wedding dress (short satin 1960's and very cool) as she didn't for the 'real' wedding... cos she is currently pregnant!

The celebrant has already agreed to come and do the renewal ..and possibly a naming ceremony for the baby who will be 5 months old!

Hopefully we can all be together by then... go for it!

Luckingfovely Mon 11-Jan-21 18:34:03

God @Floralnomad how miserable grin

Bloody go for it, the last year and a lot of this year have been and will be terrible, depressing, and lonely for many people.

How lovely to have something to look forward and to let your mum share the day with you.

It's not like you're planning a 200 people bridezilla wedding, it sounds simple and low-key and a wonderful way to celebrate.

Janaih Mon 11-Jan-21 18:35:16

I would do a wedding reenactment but don't call it a vow renewal. They don't need renewing; you made them for life.
Vow renewals just make people wonder which of you cheated.


Sheleg Mon 11-Jan-21 18:41:26

Don't bother! Vow renewals are tacky, and everyone will be wondering which of you cheated.

The point of vows is that you mean them first time round.

SoupDragon Mon 11-Jan-21 18:44:07

I think, given the circumstances, having. "vow renewal" with the people you would have liked at your wedding is fine.

Normally I agree that many people think it's a sign that someone has cheated though.

JorisBonson Mon 11-Jan-21 18:45:37

I like that idea @Janaih "our wedding - the sequel" 😂

Thanks @Luckingfovely - I have so missed having everyone in one room for a party. We're going to try to coincide it with our first anniversary so there's still a reason to celebrate.

Family were 100% behind us running away but I know both mums felt a little bittersweet about it and my dad LOVES giving a speech 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Fressia123 Mon 11-Jan-21 18:46:40

We're doing this but instead we're having our tiny registry office wedding and a religious one in 2022.

Floralnomad Mon 11-Jan-21 18:47:05

Not miserable at all I just don’t do renewals , vows don’t need renewing as they don’t wear out .

JorisBonson Mon 11-Jan-21 18:52:16

It's not a renewal as such @Floralnomad, more a chance to do the day again, this time with our families and friends afterwards. Don't really know what else to call it!

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quarentini Mon 11-Jan-21 18:57:39

Honestly just have a party.
Apart from your parents, no one else will be bothered about the vows or ceremony.
Most people will just be taking bets on who cheated.

Casmama Mon 11-Jan-21 19:07:42

I think vow renewals in general do get people wondering if someone has cheated but I think Covid will have changed that- it's bloody obvious that you would be having the day you wanted originally so ignore the rude people saying it's tacky and if you want to do it then go for it.

I'm sure people will be delighted you aren't asking for gifts and that they get to go to a party too

OliviaKeeling Mon 11-Jan-21 19:11:55

Just have a big party for the anniversary. No need to reenact the vows!

FraughtwithGin Mon 11-Jan-21 19:30:05

I live in Germany and it is quite usual for couples to have 2 weddings.The first is the register office one and is the legal one, without which you are not considered to be married.
However, a lot of couples also have a religious ceremony, called a blessing in the UK. Some people manage to do both on the same day, but I know quite a few couples whose civil and religious ceremonies are months apart.
Would a blessing followed by a reception be an option for you?

JorisBonson Mon 11-Jan-21 19:36:47

Blessing is what MIL called it!

Neither of us are religious and I'm also previously divorced, however it'll be the civil version of a blessing (if any makes any sense).

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