how are you coping in lockdown with...

[higglepiggley]

A only child who won't play or entertain themselves for even 5 minutes.
She's almost 5 and driving me potty. Anyone else ? She's been unable to play alone since she was 3 no matter what I do and the screen time is so much at the moment .
She had started reception in September.

[pleasefeedthecat]

When you say screen time, is that television or computers/tablets?

A decent quality learning programme on a computer is a good way of passing the time and also teaches them things.

My eldest ds couldn't do standard play because of his difficulties, but I taught him how to use a computer from age 4 and got him puzzle, play, building and story programmes on cd rom. He never looked back, it was great for him.

[WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants]

I'd put wine in the fridge & look forward to her bedtime.

Then I'd involve her in things I need to do, boring things, that she'll either enjoy helping with or bugger off & play by herself.

Depending on her nature I'd probably say that I have jobs I need to do in the morning, but that after lunch we can play/paint/bake whatever.

Dishes/dusting/hoovering/laundry/prep for dinner can be done with a helper

It's exhausting but it really does go so quickly & before you know it they just want to be doing their own thing.

[higglepiggley]

Haha no wine here. almost 19 weeks pregnant.

It's a mixture of both . Her tablet and tv.

Oh she never buggers of to play ever she will sit and do absolutely nothing for ages and just wait until she can have a device or someone to play with
She hasn't touched her Xmas gifts except the board game that has to involve someone else

[RosieLemonade]

I am in the same situation. I spent a small fortune on sylvanian families hoping she would enjoy them but they have hardly been touched. She won't even draw without me sitting with her. It is driving me potty!

[higglepiggley]

I feel you
It's constant
I can cope when she's at school but she's been home since December 17 now and driving me mad

[Salrose]

Hi there,

The yoto player has been a life saver. Literally has saved my sanity with my 5 year old she absolutely loves it. Carries it around with her and has had the Enchanted Wood story on repeat! Also helps that, that particular story is 4 hours long!!! Xx

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Quite honestly, screens are your friend.

[Salrose]

Ps if you want £10.off here is a code but i promise it's worth it!

yoto.refr.cc/salehap

[Salrose]

My kids are 5, 3 and 7 months. Only use screen time for upto 2 hours maximum or 1 hour generally midday. I find too much makes them quite hyperactive and harder to deal with x

[MinnieMountain]

Will she play if you’re in the same room as her? Our 7yo just wants company.

We go to playgrounds a lot. There are normally other children in them.

Can she ride a bike? DS and I have rides together whilst chatting.

[higglepiggley]

No she won't play even next to me unless I'm fully involved she'll just say she has nothing to do and no one to play with and won't ever be talked into doing anything alone unless it involves a screen
If we go on a bike ride I have to play races haha or if we go to the park she won't go off and play I have to play to 😬

[Plussizejumpsuit]

This sounds exhausting op. I know she was at school for a short time but did you get any feedback about her playing and learning independently?

I assume you've tried everything to get her to play on her own. But I'd definitely ramp this up as you're pregnant. If you don't play does she ever just get fed up and play? How long will she just sit and wait for you to play?

[higglepiggley]

No she never gives up
We can leave her up to a hour and she will just sit on the sofa and do nothing.
She plays well at school and she plays with us. She has a great imagination she just refuses to do anything alone.

She's been like it since she was 3 and we've tried all sorts. It just doesn't change

[higglepiggley]

Really feeling her lack of ability to play alone for short periods today.
I can't imagine this for weeks more.
😩

[BigTallyWacker]

It’s really hard. Feel for you op. My eldest is now 14 and never really grew out of it either. Luckily he had a sister 18mths younger than him so she took some of the strain off me

My only advice would be have a sort of schedule so you know you can have a break after say 30mins. Also get her doing useful things with you such as cleaning. And walking and getting outside whenever possible.

And don’t worry about screw time if it saves your sanity. Life won’t be like this forever. Poor kids are bored to death.

[MMMarmite]

Would she listen to audiobooks?

If in England, do you have a childcare bubble? You could bubble with a family with a similar age child, get some space for yourself and the v kids could okay together.

[MMMarmite]

I can see in a way how boring it must feel for her, if she's a sociable kid, not having interaction from others :-(

[MMMarmite]

*the kids could play together

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

Can you start her off by playing with her and getting a game started, but then doing something else nearby for just, say, five mins, and dipping in and out? Or can she not even manage that? I think at that age both mine definitely pootled in same room as me, and probably needed some encouragement with focused attention for a few mins and then dipping in and out....if you can build up a minute or two here and there, maybe you can then expand on that?

[higglepiggley]

Absolutely she is bored

I dedicate a lot of time to playing but it's just hard when she also won't accept doing a little bit by herself.
I'll be the first at the school gates when she can go back

Feel so guilty about all the screen time but there is literally nothing else to do

[higglepiggley]

Unfortunately know she will stop playing the second I stop

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

Sorry, I'd missed one of your replies. Uff, sounds quite full-on. Are you giving very, very active, dedicated attention before you go off? I'm just wondering if she's sensing your desperation (wouldn't blame you 😁). Is she able to articulate why she's needing that level of input all the time, if you reflect back to her that you can see she's finding it hard to play without mummy?

[higglepiggley]

She just says she has nothing to do but she won't even attempt any play alone

[higglepiggley]

She's been this way since she turned 3

[SilenceOfThePrams]

What happens if you for eg. sit down and draw together for a bit, then you leave her with three sheets to colour in whilst you do some work yourself, and a promise that you will come back to do the fourth with her?

Lots of “when you have done x, we can do y” type things. When you have sorted the edges from the middle, I will come and do the puzzle with you. When you have sorted the Lego into colours, I will come and build a rainbow. When you have picked up five things from your bedroom floor, I will come and help you put the rest away.

Is she managing at school? If so then she can work independently, even if she doesn’t think she can. Or does she just sit in a corner all day?

If she wants to sit on the sofa for an hour staring at the wall, put some things beside her and leave her to it. Don’t ignore her completely for an hour, obviously, but sit beside her, start doing something together, then get up and let her know you’ll help her again when she’s coloured in the sky/joined the dots/sorted the colours out. And just keep reminding her you’re looking forwards to doing the next bit together but it’s her job to do that bit now.

Playground and playing alone/needing you - we have a stomp rocket. It’s great! I set it up beside the bench and sit on the bench. My “I neeeeeeed you” child gets to sit beside me, we load the rocket onto the pole together, take it in turns to stomp, and then she has to go and fetch the rocket and bring it back.

Exercise for her, sitting time for you, and she’s doing more of it herself.

Not quite the weather for it but washing windows together is good for my sanity too. One of us stands outside and one inside and the window is firmly shut. Then we wash it together, cleaning the same pane at the same time. But I can’t hear her! Can smile and can be playful but no conversation, which definitely helps me breathe a bit.