Shall I offer an A level student a home?

(48 Posts)
NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:29:35

I received an email from a local school to see if I can help. They have an A level student who has had to leave the family home because of DV. They are over 18 and have urgent accommodation needs.
There is a bit more to this but I want to hear some honest views.

OP’s posts: |
Diverseduvet Thu 07-Jan-21 20:30:36

Why did they ask you?

Whatthebloodyell Thu 07-Jan-21 20:31:53

If you are able to then yes? What sort of length of time are we talking about? Too many variables here to give a proper answer!

Stompythedinosaur Thu 07-Jan-21 20:32:42

This is so inappropriate it sounds unbelievable. A school is emailing random parents to see if they will accommodate a child they don't know? Surely that is a huge safeguarding issue?

SendHelp30 Thu 07-Jan-21 20:33:56

Are you a foster carer? Does the person have any behavioural or empties difficulties? Do you have children of your own and if so, how old are they?
Do you have a spare room for them?
What happens if the violent parent / parents finds your home?

Brinksmanship Thu 07-Jan-21 20:34:12

Why have they picked you?

It doesn’t sound normal to me. Surely they’d go via official channels?

pleasefeedthecat Thu 07-Jan-21 20:37:00

A school would never do such a thing due to safeguarding issues.


NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:37:55

Thanks so much for helping me think this one through because obviously I can’t talk about it to anyone.
@Whatthebloodyell. There is a gap in the system which has been forced open even larger by COVID. There is very little support for homeless young adults. This person can’t claim housing costs but can have UC. They urgently need somewhere to live. The school don’t want a pupil sleeping rough.

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PlanDeRaccordement Thu 07-Jan-21 20:39:40

If they are 18 surely they are not a child? So would safeguarding even apply?

Anyway, if I could house them, then I would offer pending a face to face meeting to ensure there is no personality clash.

AlwaysCheddar Thu 07-Jan-21 20:39:58

But what is your connection to the school?

Scissor Thu 07-Jan-21 20:40:11

This is a job for social care to organise. They have the legal duty. Unless you live outside of the UK. In UK what you describe is not ever going to happen.

CressidaTheHeathen Thu 07-Jan-21 20:41:08


NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:41:44

The pupil is over 18 so a vulnerable adult. I am not a foster carer but I take lodgers who need additional support. For example an anorexic university student.
@pleasefeedthecat. Yes I know it sounds unbelievable but it is very hard to find a rental when you have no deposit and no family behind you.

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littlefireseverywhere Thu 07-Jan-21 20:41:46

@NellietheNumpty I’m guessing there’s more to
This that you’re letting on, but yes I would. We had a friend of DDs older sister stay for 3 months whilst her family had issues. Great relationship with her now. She’s now left university & stays in contact.

VanCleefArpels Thu 07-Jan-21 20:42:43

The Council have a duty to provide emergency accommodation so the school (if they really are trying to sort out the housing for this young person) should be liaising with the Housing Office.

SmellyPooHead Thu 07-Jan-21 20:44:03

No you shouldn't. Delete it

Emeeno1 Thu 07-Jan-21 20:45:32

They are not a child they are an adult.

Do you want to open your home to another adult?

Copperblack Thu 07-Jan-21 20:46:03

Social services do have various services for vulnerable adults in this situation. If they claim otherwise they are probably trying to avoid responsibility.

I am a foster carer and have continued to look after a number of young people who have turned 18. They will get universal credit and possibly a bursary of about £30 a week. It can be very complicated dealing with all this. I would definitely enquire about supported lodgings provision as this will be set up to manage the emotional and financial aspects of this young person’s life. If you want to be involved you could look at becoming a supported lodgings provider which gives you access to training and support and some help with the financial aspects.

If the young person bypasses the social services system, they may miss out on lots of ootential support, particularly if they plan to go to uni.

PlanDeRaccordement Thu 07-Jan-21 20:46:29

Is anyone aware of this? A 17 yr old homeless teenager was offered a tent by the council.

With watchdogs uncovering these events, not sure I’d be so firm about no teens ever being forced to sleep rough in U.K.

NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:48:27

@PlanDeRaccordement This is what I am thinking but I am not sure if a face to face is possible. I have asked school, with SW support. @VanCleefArpels there is a massive shortage of suitable places so I am thinking of offering a place even just for a while. I hate to think of a cold frightened teenager.
@littlefireseverywhere Yes there it’s lots more than this but even on this forum I can’t say much.
Thank you though for all your comments I need to think carefully about this one.

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Lemonpiano Thu 07-Jan-21 20:49:57

If you're suitable and experienced with this kind of thing then why are you asking random internet strangers for advice?

RickOShay Thu 07-Jan-21 20:50:09

Yes I would, as long as it wouldn’t impact my own family too much.
So if I had a spare room and older children, and enough time for everyone, including the student of course.

NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:51:01

@Copperblack. Brilliant that is just the thing I need to find out about. I can’t thank you enough as always for such practical and compassionate thinking.

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Parsley1234 Thu 07-Jan-21 20:51:36

I would there is do little provision for most people who find themselves compromised. For those who say councils have a duty you have no idea what that looks like. I work for the DWP with the council and seriously you wdnt let your cat sleep in places that are deemed fit

NellietheNumpty Thu 07-Jan-21 20:54:40

@Lemonpiano COVID lends a whole other layer of complication such as whether we can meet face to face. What risk another adult will be.
I am also in a close knit community where I can’t talk to my usual friend however discretely. This is a local school and student.

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