What decisions do other parents seem to find normal but you find weird/unnecessary?

(14 Posts)
Echobelly Thu 07-Jan-21 16:47:46

I've been on some parents groups where people ask question about doing something like everyone does it, but it's something I wouldn't think of or do at all. NB, talking in my case about on-verge-of-adolescent kids. So things I've seen talked about as totally normal:

Deciding what method 11/12 yo DD should be using to remove her body hair - not with any suggestion that DD has asked about this, just that at certain age it seems to be presumed she must be expected to start doing this.

Ditto with when should she start waxing her eyebrows. Though TBF a few mums were also like 'Uh, maybe never?'

The one I've really come across treated as normal the most is: 'What tracking app should I put on DC's phone?' Really - I find that creepy and invasive, I don't want to put tracking app on my kids' phone. They'll be no use in a case of real danger and it kind of breaks trust IMO.

OP’s posts: |
ArseWipesLemonade Thu 07-Jan-21 18:45:46

At DC's school it's deemed normal for children to have a private tutor from year 5 to help them pass the tests for grammar school. It seems so alien to me, although I didn't grow up in grammar school area so maybe that's why. My DC won't have a tutor. If they pass the test, great. If they don't, they'll go to a different school.

june2007 Thu 07-Jan-21 18:52:10

Well some think it,s ok to get baby,s ears pierced. I think it,s abhorent. 9SAying as someone who has had ears pierced but i chose as an adult.)

LaPoesieEstDansLaRue Thu 07-Jan-21 18:53:56

Insisting that dc have to do 1/2/3 or more extra curricular activities. If dc want to do a hobby or activity, fine. If they don't, fine.

ShouldIgonow Thu 07-Jan-21 18:56:17

@LaPoesieEstDansLaRue I think the activities is for them to find a hobby. I feel sad that as a child I was never introduced to an instrument or a sport - i think these are the years for them to find their skills and passions

Findahouse21 Thu 07-Jan-21 18:56:42

I find it odd that people have strict screen time limits. I couldn't be bothered to spend my day adding up how long she's been watching TV in 20 minute bursts. I just ask her to turn it off at the end of the next episode.

SummerHouse Thu 07-Jan-21 18:58:09

I have a weaning one.
Other mum: you've been through every Annabelle Karmel recipe in the book and you've made notes on each page about what she liked.
Me: confused

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notafanoftheman Thu 07-Jan-21 18:59:18

Someone asked the 5,000 members of one FB group I'm in whether she should get a 12 or 14 inch wok. Fucksake.

RedskyAtnight Thu 07-Jan-21 19:01:06

My SIL agreed with all the other girls' parents in her daughter's year when the girls would all get crop tops and when they would all get bras, so that no one felt "weird" or "different". I don't know why you wouldn't just buy them based on your daughter's development.

Findahouse21 Thu 07-Jan-21 19:03:13

@redskyatnight I'd feel weird that my mum was discussing it with the other mums!!

Echobelly Thu 07-Jan-21 19:35:30

@redskyatnight - it's sort of sensible, but definitely sort of weird!!!

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Stompythedinosaur Thu 07-Jan-21 20:55:48

I got told off on another parenting group early on for suggesting a reception age dc could use a regular knife to chop to help chop veg and didn't need a special child knife. Apparently I am failing to keep my dc safe and using a regular kitchen knife is Very Dangerous.

Actually my dc are past this stage and have miraculously survived my poor judgement.

Stompythedinosaur Thu 07-Jan-21 20:56:02

*earlier on

HecouldLickEm Thu 07-Jan-21 21:09:15

My dd has a tracking app! It's been useful in all sorts of ways and course its useful for danger.
Yy to babies ears pierced, I guess just how strict some parents are.
But the ones who need to step up a bit seem like wet lettuces.

Strict on screen time, learning... The way some parents talk about learning it doesn't surprise me that their dc don't seem to enjoy it.

I enjoyed learning some things, but the way my dad asked me to do my hw sometimes would utterly drain every ounce of enthusiasm out of me and I couldn't do it.

Some parents really feel that burying their dc, under mounds of extra hw will help them. It won't.

Even for a struggling child, short, interesting bursts, are far more favorable than hours of slog.

Take two 2 dc, both have similar intellect, both good students who like to learn. One parent trusts their dc, inspires the love of learning and doesn't pressure them. Does all the usual extra curricular stuff, supplies them with books and has interesting convo with them.

Second child has very strict parents, even though the Child is conscientious they talk as if they they are lazy etc and drown them under endless work. They believe the good results are solely because they drive them.

It's not, it's just because their child is actually a good student and they would get the came results without the pain.

Agree with screen time and again super strict parents, strictly monitoring it. When my dc have friends over you can instantly tell the ones who are strictly monitored! They are captivated and stare open mouthed like zombies! I have to turn it off grin which is no biggie but my dc want to play with the it friends!

The myth of the sugar rush, it's more like some e numbers in some sweets that have set some dc off.

Again severely restricting sweets and chocolate and making a huge deal about them, only makes them seem more desirable!
I hate the big deal some people make over their dc eating healthy food, it should just be without the need for boasting...

Again people who are extremely strict over presents, we had a ss at school and many parents happily said their dc would not be opening their gift before Xmas day which I found odd because wouldn't it get lost among all the other gifts??

Isn't that part of the fun to have a gift early?

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