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Anonymous messages on Next door

(20 Posts)
tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 08:40:15

I was a member of our local Next door site. Just before Christmas I was on a thread and there was a bloke on there being rude so I muted him.

Then he started to send me private messages. He sent three. One mentioned my name and all my family's names, my job, our address, a hobby my h and ds like to do, my h's job, my dd and her boyfriend. He clearly knows us.

I asked him three times who he was but he ignored me.

I have contacted Nextdoor to complain, and have left NextDoor (you can't block users, you can't stop users from contacting you - I felt unsafe).

I have no idea who this bloke is. Would you contact the police, or am I overreacting?

The thought that he knows all this about my family is horrible.

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tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 08:40:57

You're not supposed to join Next door using an alias - you're supposed to use your real name. He didn't.

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endofthelinefinally Mon 28-Dec-20 08:42:46

I think it is worth reporting to the police. Very disappointing that admin of next door didn't take this seriously.

SwanShaped Mon 28-Dec-20 08:45:22

I’d report it. It’s a bit stalker like.

elsaesmeralda Mon 28-Dec-20 08:50:57

Can you be made aware someone has muted you? Do you think this is why he decided to start messaging you? Seems like he's trying to be threatening. I would report just to be on the safe side and keep the messages but don't engage with him.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 08:57:05

I don't know if users are made aware when someone mutes them.

Incredibly annoying not having the ability to block someone in this day and age...

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Doodlepip23 Mon 28-Dec-20 08:59:39

Screenshot the messages and talk to the police.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 09:02:28

I have a reporting number from Next Door and they said they'd cooperate with the police.

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Soutiner Mon 28-Dec-20 09:48:12

I’m on Next Door but I thought it was a bad idea to join using my real name if I was going to potentially interact and possibly complain about things going on in my neighbourhood or street.

So I use an alias and I’m glad I did as I took to task an idiot who only lives five minutes away as he was spamming the site with his MLM make up and beauty plan and trying to recruit others.

I was polite to him but he was immediately aggressive and his posts were all removed after I reported him and he was advised by the admin that he could not post about MLM schemes as it’s against their rules.

He messages me three times indicating he knew it was me that has reported him and I had better watch out as he knew what I looked like blah blah blah.

I had a chuckle as my photo on next door is of a random Australian instagrammer so it’s unlikely he spot me strolling down the road!

Next Door is on the whole a good site with decent people helping each other but sadly there are a few that enjoy confrontation.

There was an ongoing row between two women who knew each other as nearby neighbours so why they felt the need to slag each other off on Next Door instead of over the garden fence, was rather amusing!

Report the messages to admin and they may well be able to block or ban him.

AllAboutHallowsEve Mon 28-Dec-20 10:01:19

It might not be a man. Could be a woman pretending to be a man on the site. Have you checked the privacy settings on your facebook account?

Dowermouse Mon 28-Dec-20 10:02:10

Speak to the police and get the harassment logged.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 10:30:40

@Soutiner - joining under an alias is against NextDoor's rules!

If I knew who this bloke was, he wouldn't be able to send me cowardly anonymous messages... 🙄

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Soutiner Mon 28-Dec-20 10:38:29

Seriously, using your real name on a site involving your neighbours and immediate neighbourhood is not a good idea unless you are only ever going to post sweetness and light.

I can glean from comments who lives on their own, who has a valuable pet or expensive car and even people chatting about when they are going away on holiday- all things that may present security issues if they and their address are identifiable which of course they are as they are using their real names.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 10:41:29

I know, but I assume that the site wants people to use real names to keep the site safe. If people are daft enough to post about their belongings or holidays then what can you do?? But I don't think it should be a site for complaining on either - I mainly use it for getting recommendations of workmen and finding out local news.

My FB security settings are good, and I never post about h or kids on there.

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Milomonster Mon 28-Dec-20 10:48:35

Have you checked that your address isn’t visible on the site? I was horrified to see that addresses are made public. Check your settings.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 11:23:37

Yes, my address is not visible.

I think that Next door have an unrealistic idea of how people will behave online and how safe it is for people to know your address...

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Soutiner Mon 28-Dec-20 11:38:03

I agree. Each person should have a user name not their real name.

They can then choose to divulge their real name in a private message should they have the need to.

There was one woman before Christmas begging for toys and clothes for her children and I put her name in Facebook and there she was living a decent lifestyle with her well turned out children and clearly not poverty stricken as she was claiming on next door! So I suppose using her real name back fired in her case as I wasn’t the only one to have searched her name and someone posted a link to her Facebook calling her out!

Polyxena Mon 28-Dec-20 11:44:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Polyxena Mon 28-Dec-20 11:59:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tenlittlecygnets Mon 28-Dec-20 20:45:05

@Polyxena - I totally agree. I have given NextDoor my feedback!

I also rang the police today and have a call booked with an officer tomorrow.

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