Your life transformation

[tryingmybest11]

Hello, I created a thread the other day about feeling really down and trapped with my life on AIBU. I received a lot of amazing advice and due to this, I have decided I need a whole life transformation. I need to lose some weight, complete a course, move away from toxic friendships (and my ex!) and practice better personal care.

So the reason for my post is to hear about all of your life transformations. This could be rags to riches stories, finding an amazing relationship after a toxic one, moving area, career changes, weight loss stories or it could even be that you ensured you had a wax each month!

Just anything that made you happier than you were previously.

Please tell me all your life transformations, how you became a happier version of yourself, how long it took and how it’s impacted on your life now?

(I just found this board. I put it on Aibu but didn’t know how to delete)

[user1471548941]

I’m feeling miserable with the new announcement now so I’ll add mine to make me look back and smile and remind myself how far I’ve come.

Back in 2015, I was really struggling. I’d graduated but was basically changing jobs every couple of weeks, I never seemed to find my place or get on very well despite supposedly being bright. I was completely lost, couldn’t work out who I was or who I wanted to be and pretty miserable. I kept going for jobs and men that were completely unsuitable!

I then went on a PoF date with a guy who worked in a certain place. He actually took a call in the middle of the date to accept a transfer to Brazil... typical I thought! But the result was that he told me all about his workplace and what a good fit for me it would be. I never saw the guy again but I took his advice, spent a year building up my CV and eventually got a job with his very large employer.

I fell in love with it from Day 1 and they seemed to like me too. I had also done some soul searching and pursued an autism diagnosis and for me this was the life changer. I told my employer and they put support in place that actually helped me do the job without being held back by autism related issues and 4 years later I’ve been promoted twice, love my role in a new department and can see myself working my way right up!

In my personal life I completely re-evaluated my self worth and how I live my life. I ditched friends that were using me, ditched the boyfriend who only worked PT whilst expecting me to pay the bills and do all the house work, moved back to my parents to save up to buy him out of the house we had only bought 6 months previously... I think some friends and family thought I was crazy!

I managed to buy him out of the house with my new salary from a job I love and moved back here by myself. I also fell head over heels with the manager who supporter me through my initial diagnosis, he actually moved departments so that we could get together and 3 years later we are both working from home together, living in my house and rescheduling our wedding.

I look back and can’t believe how miserable and lost I was and that it all started with a PoF date with a stranger. His advice that this industry would suit me has lead me to everything that has made me happy in life and I thank my lucky stars every day that I was desperate enough to follow advice from a complete stranger. I don’t think I would have listened if my confidence wasn’t as low as it was.

[tryingmybest11]

Omg that is such an amazing story! I bet you never believed that you would be in the position you are in now!

[TR888]

What a lovely story! May I ask what industry you work in? It sounds like a fabulous place to be!

[TR888]

I was never into sports, at all - my thing is curling up in the sofa with a good book. Then at the tender age of 42, they brought the cycle-to-work scheme in whereby I could "borrow" a bike and all the equipment for a month. If I liked it, I could buy off the scheme for £100.

I did it for the novelty of it and surprised myself hugely when I loved my first commute on my bike. I felt like superman. Then I cycled quite religiously to work for a few years until lockdown put an end to it. Cycling led me to running and although I'm not fast, it's something I do regularly. I count that as a transformation as it changed the way I see myself and my lifestyle- I recommend it!

[dubyalass]

Running, for sure. I started a couple of months ago and I’m not fast, nor can I do long distances without stopping a few times, but I really enjoy it, I feel fitter and healthier, it’s great for my mental health and I can see myself improving each week.

I have also recently finished a master’s degree and started a new job related to the master’s, which is why I started the master’s, if that makes sense! No relationship at the moment but no desperate desire for one either - just happy as I am. Good luck OP, and I also loved reading @user1471548941’s transformation - absolutely brilliant :)

[LeonoraFlorence]

Lovely stories. I’m feeling really flat today for various reasons and pondering 2021. These posts are great.

[Northernsoullover]

3 years ago I was a term into my foundation year. I'm now in the final year of my undergraduate degree and I have already got a job in my new field.
I've also quit alcohol

[Juancornetto]

When I split up with my ex boyfriend I was skint and friendless in a dead end job. I was worried that splitting up with him and having to start afresh would mean I'd end up with no partner, no children and no social life
I made friends with a great group of mates pretty quickly after our breakup, got a new well paying job, had fun dating lots of interesting blokes and eventually met DH and we have 2 children together.
My life is completely different to how it once was - so much for the better

[tryingmybest11]

I love hearing positive stories!! Makes me excited for the future.

[BlueBrush]

I struggled with anxiety for a long time, and it all came to a head in my mid thirties when I was pregnant. I had a course of CBT, and - with a bit of effort and commitment - I became a completely different person. It was the making of me.

CBT is really accessible and common-sense. There are loads of books and websites, and I think the techniques are really useful everyone - not just those who would consider themselves mentally "ill" - to keep on top of their mental wellbeing.

Good luck, @tryingmybest11! Don't worry about fixing it all at once. Little steps in the right direction are good enough!

[Ploughingthrough]

This time last year I realised that with 2 young DC and a busy job I had neglected myself. I lost 3 stone, completely stopped biting my nails, and had some dental work done. I know it's all cosmetic (apart from the weight which was also health) but I feel so much more confident and happy with myself. In addition, 2 years ago despite feeling super nervous I said yes to joining DH abroad for a 2 year contract. 10 years ago I couldn't have contemplated this level of bravery! I've had a ball, despite covid, and am so glad I've enhanced my world view and experienced another place and allowed my DC to learn a new language.