Is this appropriate?

(25 Posts)
MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:07:32

I'm thinking about buying a book for some colleagues as a gift for a tough year. I like the look of this one but worry that it's assumptive as it's about mental health. What do you think?

(Yes, I have form for overthinking)

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Cantreasonwithunreasonable Wed 23-Dec-20 09:20:48

Try this one instead,
By Katherine May

It's less 'in your face' than your first one but similar themes.

ceeveebee Wed 23-Dec-20 09:22:28

I got online national book tokens for my team this year, as I don’t know what books they already have and wanted them to be able to choose - perhaps that might be an option?

MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:24:35

Thanks. I'm not sure that I like that one as much. Realising books are such a personal thing!

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cariadlet Wed 23-Dec-20 09:25:07

I wouldn't appreciate this from a colleague. I'd be overthinking too and wonder if I looked as if I needed it. As I don't do self help books, it's the sort of thing that I'd only read if it was on a reading list for some kind of staff training that I had to do. Sorry if that comes across too harsh.

If I was being given a present in recognition of a tough year, I'd much prefer wine or chocolates.

cariadlet Wed 23-Dec-20 09:27:23

Oh yes, book tokens. I was given one for my birthday and one as a Christmas present from one of the children in my class. I'm really looking forward to having a good browse whenever bookshops near me are open again.

cariadlet Wed 23-Dec-20 09:29:10

Wintering would also be heading straight for the charity shop. Books definitely are a matter of personal taste.


Alarae Wed 23-Dec-20 09:39:30

I got a friend the All On The Board book. Its a compilation of the heartwarming tube message boards.

I've had a flick through yesterday and it is so heartwarming. Nearly went back and ordered myself a copy!

MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:44:27

Thanks for the suggestions. I've never heard of boon tokens. I'll have a look!

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MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:44:38


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QueenoftheAir Wed 23-Dec-20 09:44:40

Crikey! Im a voracious reader & rarely take offence - a gift is a gift & should be appreciated as such. But I'd be a bit hmm at receiving this from a colleague, and would start to wonder about their interactions with me.

Then I'd tell myself off for overthinking.

Then I'd distance myself from that colleague.

I think it's a bit of an overstep to give a self-help book to colleagues. For me, personally, I find self-help books a bit glib - I'd rather go read Freud, or Winnicott, or Paiget, or whoever.

BaronessBomburst Wed 23-Dec-20 09:51:41

DH once got an American self-help book from a colleague. It was incredibly over the top and he only stopped feeling insulted and could laugh when he found out that the rest of the team had been given one too. Still it was a waste of money and they would all have preferred wine.
He recycled it.

MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:52:12

@QueenoftheAir thanks. This was my worry. I'm glad I checked.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing Wed 23-Dec-20 09:57:57

I’m also not a fan of a self help book. Unless I’ve specifically asked for the book, I would be very confused if someone bought that for me.

MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 09:59:13

I'm not a drinker so worry about getting the 'correct' wine. I think book tokens are perhaps the way to go.

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QueenoftheAir Wed 23-Dec-20 10:02:10

To celebrate the end of a tough year, and say thank you to colleagues I'd prefer flowers, or chocolates. Something absolutely trivial, unnecessary, and a splurge that people wouldn't buy for themselves.

John Lewis sells little boxes of Charbonnel et Walker chocolates for £5 - less than the cost of a paperback, and the kind of frivolous gift (really bad value if you like a lot of chocolate grin !) that people would rarely buy for themselves.

HoneysuckIejasmine Wed 23-Dec-20 10:02:27

hmm no, I agree that it's not appropriate. I love books but I'd rather choose my own.

PleasantVille Wed 23-Dec-20 10:03:55


Thanks for the suggestions. I've never heard of boon tokens. I'll have a look!

You've never heard of book tokens shock

Are you very young or from a forrin land grin

I love reading but hate people giving me books, they have no idea of what I've already left or what I like. Unless someone asks for a specific book I'd never choose one as a gift.

ceeveebee Wed 23-Dec-20 10:11:34

Book tokens are easier to send too - just all done by email and there is room to write a message too. Job done!

badlydrawnbear Wed 23-Dec-20 10:13:09

I like the look of that book and now wish it wasn't too late to ask for it for Christmas, but I agree it is not the kind of thing you can buy for everyone. My mental health is a wreck, but, if it wasn't, I would be confused by receiving that as a gift. Giving books as a gift is always a risk, as you don't know what the person is interested in and what books they already have, so, if you know your colleagues like reading, I agree that book tokens are a better choice, especially if they can be used online depending on where you live and whether book shops are open where you are. Chocolate is usually better, or wine if you know your colleagues all drink. At my work we have done a Secret Santa with a list where people could suggest what they would like to avoid getting a rubbish gift, almost everyone who put a suggestion put wine or chocolate.

wowfudge Wed 23-Dec-20 10:19:05

Unless we had had a conversation about our mental health I would be very wary of a colleague who bought me that, or any other similar, self-help book. Definitely overstepping the mark.

Something like the Tube station message book would be likely to be much better received and not offend.

MissOrganisedMe Wed 23-Dec-20 10:27:14

@pleasantville not young or forrin 😂 I've never had one specifically for books. Gift vouchers, yes but never book vouchers. Uncultured 😉

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TigsytheTiger Wed 23-Dec-20 18:32:14

Definitely a book token, I don't think a book trying to address mental health issues should ever be given unsolicited by a colleague. I would be very hmm

PerhapsOverlyWorried Wed 23-Dec-20 18:42:15

I’d be extremely upset to receive a self help book as a present from friends or family. It makes the assumption that I’m having issues in my life that I’m both unable to cope with and not doing anything to deal with my problems. Would be outright offended to receive one from a colleague.

Agree with everyone else, book tokens are the way forward! However, you might want to consider that your colleagues might be equally hmm about book tokens as not everyone reads for pleasure!

This is why I hate Christmas, the amount of stress and mental energy that has to go into thinking about everyone around you is exhausting. It’s no longer enough to give a card with some genuinely heartfelt words in it fsad

Crinkle77 Wed 23-Dec-20 22:29:42

Sorry but I wouldn't want a self hep book for Christmas.

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