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Why is buying a a house so stressful!

19 replies

gingajewel · 22/12/2020 15:50

Just that really! Nothing but problems every single day!! Buying a house is the worst and most stressful time of my life ever!! Rant over!!

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OrigamiOwl · 22/12/2020 15:53

God we're stuck in the middle of this too! So frustrating and I'm fielding daily calls from the vendors estate agents, putting pressure on me to sorry out something I can't sorry out... It's the solicitors who need to sort it out between them!

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gingajewel · 22/12/2020 16:07

It’s a nightmare isn’t it! Our house sold, out in an offer on another one, three weeks later vendor pulls out! Told our house needs some work doing, get money to do the work, put offer in on another house, we have now been told that house is worth 10k less than we have offered on it so it’s screwed up our mortgage! I feel so frustrated and just don’t know what to do anymore!!!!

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ComtesseDeSpair · 22/12/2020 16:25

I’ve only ever bought places with no chain and without having to sell something else immediately myself - and even that’s stressful enough, I don’t know how people in chains cope. Chin up though - hopefully all over soon and you’ll be in your new home.

What I also don’t understand is that whilst people say house buying and selling much less stressful in other countries because offers are legally binding and nobody can just pull out - how can this be? Surely any system needs to reflect that mortgages can be declined after offer, or survey comes back with problems, or searches bring up something unsavoury.

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Miseryl · 22/12/2020 16:52

I found moving house more stressful than having a baby!

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ramblingsonthego · 22/12/2020 16:56

Moving house is the single top most stressful thing. The house buying process in this country is ridiculous. The fact you pay out thousands of pounds without any guarantee you will end up getting that house is ridiculous. This needs seriously looking at, but I doubt any government can actually be bothered while the housing market booms away.

We have just exchanged and we are exhausted from the process and it was a simply chain, FTB, Us, Empty Property.

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ramblingsonthego · 22/12/2020 16:58

@ComtesseDeSpair

I’ve only ever bought places with no chain and without having to sell something else immediately myself - and even that’s stressful enough, I don’t know how people in chains cope. Chin up though - hopefully all over soon and you’ll be in your new home.

What I also don’t understand is that whilst people say house buying and selling much less stressful in other countries because offers are legally binding and nobody can just pull out - how can this be? Surely any system needs to reflect that mortgages can be declined after offer, or survey comes back with problems, or searches bring up something unsavoury.

In other countries the seller would have all of that information before selling the property, bar usually a survey/house inspection (if the buyer wants an independent one done). A family member has bought property in America and it is so much easier. Most are a 30 or 60 day closing, you make an offer and its binding unless you had caveats in the offer like a home inspection etc..... much much easier.
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StoopDragon · 22/12/2020 16:59

Just been through this too, it was horrendous and each estate agent has it's own agenda.

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Madvixen · 22/12/2020 17:03

We finally exchanged and completed today but the whole process very nearly broke me. It's been one thing after another (not helped by incompetent solicitors) and it's rather taken the shine off getting the keys and moving in if I'm honest

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2beautifulbabs · 22/12/2020 17:12

It is super stressful we finally completed and moved in last Friday.
Took 14 weeks in total and was far more stressful second time around as we had our old house to sell this time so we weren't FTB So had the stress of a chain and relying on others to make sure we completed on both sale and purchase.
My DH bless was constantly chasing our solicitors for updates and pushing for competition before Christmas.
Now feel super happy and love our new family home so it's been worth it now we finally are in but agree something needs to change with the whole selling and buying process in this country.

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sozzledsantax · 22/12/2020 17:14

We had our offer on a house rejected today - we offered the home report value, which was over asking price. First time buyers, not tied to a rental lease. So gutted. I don't know if I can handle this disappointment all the time.

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ZZTopGuitarSolo · 22/12/2020 17:19

@ComtesseDeSpair

I’ve only ever bought places with no chain and without having to sell something else immediately myself - and even that’s stressful enough, I don’t know how people in chains cope. Chin up though - hopefully all over soon and you’ll be in your new home.

What I also don’t understand is that whilst people say house buying and selling much less stressful in other countries because offers are legally binding and nobody can just pull out - how can this be? Surely any system needs to reflect that mortgages can be declined after offer, or survey comes back with problems, or searches bring up something unsavoury.

The biggest difference where I live is that the legal stuff is done by a realtor who is trained in real estate law, rather than by a solicitor, and they get a nice wodge of commission when they make the sale, so it's in their interests to be efficient.

IME the search, inspection, etc are generally done within about a week of the request being put in.
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nosswith · 22/12/2020 17:33

The reason is in part that Tony Blair was not prepared to have proper regulation of estate agents, allegedly because it would stifle competition. Which suggests that the image of dodgy people in estate agents must have had some truth in it.

I would apply Scottish law on house purchase unless someone can better it.

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S0upertrooper · 22/12/2020 18:37

I've bought and sold several houses over the years in Scotland and England. The Scottish system is better because exchange of missives (in England this is contract) tends to happen much earlier in the process and the solicitor holds the mortgage earlier too. When the missive is exchanged, it's legally binding, so less chance of either party pulling out. There's also no chance of gazumping and both sides agree a completion date early on.

In England, exchange and completion tends to happen on the same day which is really stressful. Your moving van is packed and the buyer can demand £5k off or they won't sign and it's totally legal. WTF??? I think because a completion date is not set early on, solicitors allow things to drag. In our most recent English sale, the buyer still hadn't signed any contact 4 months after his initial offer.

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PicsInRed · 22/12/2020 19:12

Surely any system needs to reflect that mortgages can be declined after offer, or survey comes back with problems, or searches bring up something unsavoury

In NZ offers are subject to a range of conditions, even "due diligence" and almost always include "subject to survey and finance". Before moving here I'd never heard of withdrawn finance at the bottom of a chain wiping an entire chain out of all their deposits - as withdrawn finance would be a value reason to withdraw. Buyers are required to make all best endeavours to obtain finance and must negotiate around the survey. It's not an "out" and you need a really good reason to pull out or you can (and do) find yourself in court.

"Collapsed chains" seems bonkers to a Kiwi.

The system here is stress, loopy, madness.

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FlyNow · 22/12/2020 19:26

Surely any system needs to reflect that mortgages can be declined after offer, or survey comes back with problems, or searches bring up something unsavoury

Australian system is there is a 5-10 day cooling off period, mortgage approval and survey is done during this time or prior to offer. You pay your deposit at the end of this time. After this it is 6 weeks until settlement. Also a lot of houses are sold at auction, meaning there is no cooling off period, you pay the deposit on the day. You have to have done a survey already.

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ComtesseDeSpair · 22/12/2020 19:31

Interesting - thanks all who explained other systems and how they work. Sounds far more efficient and businesslike than the shambles we have in England.

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RedAntsBiteHard · 22/12/2020 19:32

I've bought and sold in both England & Scotland and worked for Mortgage companies in both countries.

Scotland whilst not 'as' bad as uk is essentially the same system but with tweaks.

In all my experience the problem is usually the conveyancer/solicitors. They pile up all their cases till a set day in the month regardless of priorities and batch process their clients. And low and behold there will always discover a problem at the last minute.

100's of solicitors I've had dealings with and 90% of them are spectacularly poor at what they do.

And yes sometime the mortgage company too, but the solicitor is the one who is meant to hold all the strings.

As an OP says how/why is it the client who ends up trying to juggle the process?

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gingajewel · 22/12/2020 19:38

The whole process seems like one legal game that you are just a pawn in and expected to do most of the work! The estate agents won’t talk to me about the vendor dropping the price unless I prove it with paperwork, that I have been waiting two days for, and now they break up for Christmas! I have never felt so stressed in my life!!

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FlyNow · 23/12/2020 10:53

@ComtesseDeSpair

Interesting - thanks all who explained other systems and how they work. Sounds far more efficient and businesslike than the shambles we have in England.

The English system sounds confusing but I guess they are all stressful in their own way. I had severe buyers remorse on a place I bought once, I wished I could withdraw the offer but I would have lost $AUD80K. I was wishing for the English system that day (and years after as it was a crap house!). I think it's the maximum stress no matter what.
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