If you had an anxious attachment and are now secure, how did you get there?

(2 Posts)
piddocktrumperiness Tue 22-Dec-20 14:36:33

Just that really. I'm anxious avoidant but only in romantic relationships- I have a healthy secure attachment to my friends and siblings. In fact, I only realised I had an insecure attachment when I started dating. My marriage to my ex, was secure albeit an emotionally abusive one. I not once felt anxiety or insecure with him during the 16 years we were together ( probably because I didn't really like him though)

So I've read about attachment but can't find much about how to become secure and how to attract secure people. I tend to attract anxious or avoidants.

If you were anxious avoidant, what strategies. did you do to heal and become secure to attract a secure attachment with a romantic partner?

OP’s posts: |
OptedForSome Tue 22-Dec-20 14:52:16

In terms of the attachment theory you don't have different ones for different situations. I'd suggest your feelings towards dating come from the ex being an abusive arse.

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