Really trying not to feel depressed

[1wokeuplikethis]

But I just can’t get excited or enjoy anything. Nothing interests me on telly, on my phone, no books, no conversation, no cooking or anything I usually enjoy like baths, texting friends, everything feels like a chore. I am snappy with my kids, I want to just crawl into bed and stay there.

They’re only little and my husband is so wonderful. But obviously everything that’s gone on this year, the new changes to Christmas plans, I already wasn’t going to see my parents on Xmas day like we usually do because my beautiful mum is receiving chemo. A close family member has died (not covid) and there’s big changes going on at work and job at risk. The sport I love to play with my friends obviously we can’t at the moment...

I know I’m no different to anyone else and EVERYONE is having a really difficult time right now but I hate feeling like this. I have never had depression although it runs in my family. I pride myself on being able to just keep going no matter what but I feel like I’ve finally reached my limit.

Regarding Christmas with the family, I’ve bought all the presents, wrapped them, planned the food, bought it and I’ll be cooking it. It’s just the four of us and I obviously wanted to make it as special as possible but I just feel so empty and bleh even thinking about it.

And I’m also the sort of person who needs regular time alone but with both me and husband wfh and the little ones, it’s nigh on impossible.

I’m not expecting anything from posting this but just wanted to get it out there and off my chest.

[flipperdoda]

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Most of the first paragraph has described me for the past few months and it feels like a battle every day not to sink further.

I called my GP about it a while back and it was so helpful just to speak to someone about it, someone who you don't feel bad about unloading onto/isn't one of the people you're sick of! I also try to do the usual things of get exercise, fresh air, talk to people, etc etc. But it's so hard isn't it.

I was just about level and doing alright and then I've been plunged into tier 4, I'm single and live alone and won't be seeing family, and suddenly everything feels overwhelming again. A walk and a healthy meal has helped.

I also pride myself on managing things fairly stoically but I've decided that this year that's bollocks and you just have to do what you can. Call a friend or your GP to talk it through. Please. It does help!

[SnuggyBuggy]

I have a lot of days where I just want to stay in bed because it all seems so awful. January is going to be hard work without Christmas to distract me.

I get this and I get how knowing everyone else is in the same boat doesn't help. We are all on our own islands in this.

[Thankssomuch]

I feel very much the same.

[lilfoxfur]

I'm the same OP. I feel completely bleak and if I didn't have ds10 I would probably fall into a hole.

It's bloody hard right now. Just keep going 🙂

[Napqueen1234]

I’m with you OP. Two small kids and struggling. I’m on a v low dose antidepressant (never had MH issues before but PND+lockdown almost finished me) and I feel a lot better. At least after Christmas you’ll have some new toys to all play with I’m sure you need a mix up. It’s hard and jan and feb looking and looking grim is hard but things will get better. Just solidarity really there’s lots in a similar position. One day we will look back and laugh....maybe...

[Napqueen1234]

*looming

[ducktales1986]

I posted a similar thread the other day and just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I know that might not help. It's incredibly hard when many of the things that keep us going in life have been taken away for so long.

[Rollingpiglet]

It is a shitty time and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate too. Are you getting out walking or exercising somehow? I have found at the moment that improves my mood when I am struggling. If you are already doing that maybe it is time to contact your GP, just to get you through the next few months until what will hopefully be better times.

[Stepintochristmas2020]

I feel the same aswell OP.

I had (have) PND (baby is 18 months now). This year has been so up and down and I'm just mentally drained from it all. Even though on paper we have had a good year, every day has been stressful. I cant seem to find happiness in anything.

[MintyCedric]

I really feel for you and you are totally justified in how you're feeling.

The situation with your mum would be tough at the best of times and having it at a time when there is limited support and virtually nothing to look forward to as a distraction is really bloody hard.

My dad was diagnosed with end of life frailty a couple of weeks into the first lockdown. He's still hanging there, completely dependent, and I've just had to arrange a period of unpaid leave from work until next September to care for him and support my mum.

Can totally relate to the lack of personal space too...I'm at my parents 5 days and 1 overnight per week, DDs day with her dad has just been cancelled as he needs to self-isolate pending test results.

It's just all a bit shit and all we can do is keep plodding on and hope and pray (if that's your thing) that the next couple of months go as quickly and smoothly as possible and that the vaccine rollout is super successful so we can get back to some kind of normal.