Gift for a newly converted Muslim

[parmavioletsarelush]

Looking for gift ideas for my DB. He was brought up Christian, same as me, but drifted away in his early teens. A few months ago he told us that he had reverted to Islam. As a wider family, over the last twenty years or so we've always bought him slabs of lager, home brewing kits, clothes etc. He's always been very difficult to buy for. This new lockdown has made it even harder. I'd like to buy him something that shows we respect his decision to revert to Islam but have no idea what. Yesterday's announcement makes it even harder.

[JingsMahBucket]

Hi @parmavioletsarelush. I once read an article or a snippet that said when buying presents for men, one of the best things to do if you’re stuck is to buy them a nicer version of something they already have. For instance, if a guy has a couple of belts are just regular or meh, get him really good or excellent quality ones. Same for shirts, shoes, books, tech, etc.

So maybe focus on those areas? How about good quality Bluetooth headphones? Better versions of shoes he constantly wears or a gift certificate to that shop/brand do he can pick out a new favourite, etc. He may select something more in accordance to his dress code, or just upgrade his current set, etc.

Hope that helps! :)

[SofiaAmes]

How about a delivery from a local halal butcher..... (which you should be able to find online).

[SillyOldMummy]

Depends how strict he is. I had a Moslem friend who couldn't listen to any music, because their Imam said they could only listen to religious music, and they didn't read fiction, because the Imam said they should focus on reading the Koran.

Buy something nice like a pair of really comfortable slippers or a snug dressing gown.

[JingsMahBucket]

Oooh good idea @SofiaAmes but I’m entirely driven food and my stomach.

[QueenOfPain]

If he was brought up Christian, how had he “reverted” to Islam?

[Groovinpeanut]

Muslims believe everyone is born a Muslim, and if they follow another faith, they can at any time revert to the Islamic faith should they choose to.

OP as he is your DB maybe as others have said something nice to wear?

[yaboo]

a nice prayer mat?

[Mialain]

You can buy literally anything, as long as its not alcohol or pork based, your brother is still the same person, and i thi k would appreciate it even more if you thought of him that way,

[PopsicleHustler]

What a lovely idea....

We dont celebrate Christmas though, if it's a Christmas gift or it just a gift in general.


But chocolates, posh jars of sweets. Make sure the sweets aren't gelatine as some jelly sweets come from pork.
Maybe a deodrant or perfume set.

I am very happy for your brother finding islam. I am a muslim too. I reverted almost 8 years ago and am the happiest person in the world.

[IHateCoronavirus]

Does he like sweets? Ones with halal gelatine (can get them from Turkish markets etc) would be nice.
My husband is Muslim so we only eat halal/ suitable for vegetarians.

[HugoTheKitten]

A carved wooden Koran holder.

[1992serpent]

Is he allowed to receive christmas gifts?

[niynycachu]

Sorry for delay in responding and I've changed user name since my original post.

He's learning to adapt to his new life. He's not coming to us for Christmas day (allowed where we are) but says his plans for the day include waking up with a hangover, out for some exercise and then watch telly for the rest of the day. He lives alone and has no children, is self employed and has very very little contact with other people but he doesn't want to put our mother at risk. I completely respect this but will obviously miss having him here with us on Christmas day for a few hours.

See, I know that it wouldn't be traditional for muslims to exchange gifts at Christmas, but this is family tradition and it's really hard for me to get my head around, so I want to give him something that shows I respect his decision to revert. It's outside of religion - it's family. Does that make sense?

[LadyJaye]

Waking up with a hangover? I thought alcohol was forbidden for Muslims?

If he's OK with booze, then presumably he's OK with anything else that's forbidden, so you shouldn't have to think too hard.

[ProfMcGonigle]

@LadyJaye

Waking up with a hangover? I thought alcohol was forbidden for Muslims?

If he's OK with booze, then presumably he's OK with anything else that's forbidden, so you shouldn't have to think too hard.

This!

[veeeeh]

The madness of Christmas is just ridiculous now. Adults should not exchange gifts anymore IMO.

just tell them they are precious in your life. Sorry I have no suggestions for gifts.. I really wish Christmas was like Thanksgiving in US. No gifts or cards.. sounds perfect to me!

[babba2014]

If I was gifting, I'd give it as a we support you gift rather than a Xmas gift and make that clear to him because I understand reverts can either ease in or sometimes be harder on themselves at the start so you may not want him to think you are against his choice, as Muslims (who go back to basics) see Christmas as the belief of Jesus being God/son of God at the root which he won't want to 'celebrate'.

But just seen the hangover part. He might be saying that as an excuse to not come and participate in Xmas and not offend you at the same time as he's learning how to communicate with you, or he's serious but if he's serious we wouldn't judge him, as he's new to Islam so baby steps!

You can just do a simple hamper type thing, like get a glass bottle of pure juice, Tony's chocolate (larger Sainsbury's have them), a large bag of salt n vinegar crisps (tk maxx has loads that look fancy), something he may use that you know as his sister like I dunno a winter scarf or something.
This book is nice www.amazon.co.uk/Title-Reflections-Pearls-Concise-Comprehensive/dp/0972835857/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&s=books&qid=1608600693&refinements=p_27%3AAbdur-Rahman%20Ibn%20Yusuf&sr=1-3&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
Glass peanut butter jar? They have them in all supermarkets, a natural one.
A jar of local honey.
Jam
A nice pack of nuts?
You can't go wrong with food lol.

That sort of thing. You will know what he likes better. Add some tissue paper and it will look nice. Write a little message saying this gift is because we support you on your journey... and in person say it's not an Xmas gift.

Someone said a carved wooden Qur'an holder. That's a good idea. There's a shop called Islamic impressions. They have a nice one for £5 in store, can't see it online. You can call them up. They have free delivery when you spend £10 and lots of things on their website.

It's really nice of you to think of him and want to remember him always. Remember random thoughts throughout the year are nice and from a Muslim perspective better than focusing on one day in a year. I'm sure he'll appreciate it whenever you give it although he probably won't expect anything. Kind words go a long way.

[AcornAutumn]

I think you’re overthinking this

Lots of people who aren’t Christian do gifts on Xmas day. Your gift doesn’t need to recognise anything. If he’s drinking as usual then you could buy a gift around that.

[niynycachu]

He was a very heavy drinker before and has cut down to four cans a week, which I think is amazing to compare with 2 litres a night.

We're all on a journey to make sense of the chaos. Let's support each other instead of deciding that you can't be x because of y.

[AcornAutumn]

OP “ He's learning to adapt to his new life.”

Interested in this bit just out of curiosity.

[AcornAutumn]

@niynycachu

He was a very heavy drinker before and has cut down to four cans a week, which I think is amazing to compare with 2 litres a night.

We're all on a journey to make sense of the chaos. Let's support each other instead of deciding that you can't be x because of y.

Oh, I see, then not a booze gift. That’s an impressive reduction.

[LadyJaye]

But alcohol is haram for Muslims. You don't get to pick and choose the bits you like or don't like.

If your brother is going to find God as part of his recovery, he might want to choose one of the variations that aren't quite as down on booze. Maybe Anglicanism or Church of Scotland?

I'm not Muslim, but if I were, I'd find this quite insulting.

I don't think Islam is quite as big on 'pick n' mix' conversion as certain elements of Christianity are, and his laissez-faire approach might make some members of his new community quite cross.

[niynycachu]

His Imam knows he's on a journey and isn't pressuring him into absolute abstinence. He's not going out and having wild parties and turning his friends and locality into Sodom and Gomorah.

We had a pretty shitty life as teenagers so I don't really want criticisms of his drinking.

[LadyJaye]

Fair enough.

[niynycachu]

@LadyJaye he's on a journey. After trying a few Christian denominations, Islam is the one that spoke to him. Aren't we all on a journey to make sense out of the chaos?