14 weeks pregnant bf left

(11 Posts)
Mopd Sat 19-Dec-20 23:02:00

Hi, this is my first ever post.
My bf (27) and I (29) have been together for just over 18months we were going well until I fell pregnant. He wanted me to terminate but I couldn’t go through that again.
I decided to keep it.
He came to a couple of appointments with me came to both my 8 and 12 week scans. We are really good when we don’t talk about the baby but when he do he shuts off.
He doesn’t have a relationship with his family especially his dad and hasn’t for a long time.
I asked him if he wanted to still be with me and he said I loves me but doesn’t want the baby.
I’ve been really scared, confused ect for the last 10 weeks yesterday he decided to msg me and end things with me.
He said he can’t handle me emotions and it’s best if we separate for him and his happiness.
I’m so lost.
I haven’t been able to stop crying.
Did I make the wrong decision by keeping our baby?
I just wanted a happy family

OP’s posts: |
OrigamiOwl Sat 19-Dec-20 23:10:21

You haven't made the wrong decision if it's what you wanted.
Unfortunately he just isn't the man you thought he was.
Whatever happens now is day you're relationship is over, there wouldn't be any going back there for me.
Do you have family/support network in place?

footprintsintheslow Sat 19-Dec-20 23:23:56

Of course you haven't made the wrong decisions. In fact well done you for identifying what you want as it's hard under the pressure you've been put under (wether that's openly or subtly from him).

Move on, people do this on their own all the time and you will be fine. Fuck him

Mopd Sat 19-Dec-20 23:48:00

@origamiowl
I think that is the hardest thing, his made his decision to leave I just don’t no if I’ll be able to do this on my own. I feel like I have failed

I have my family around me who have been supportive so I am thankful for that.

OP’s posts: |
OrigamiOwl Sun 20-Dec-20 10:37:00

You're not the one who has failed here. It's him. He's the one who hasn't stepped up.
It's great you've got your family around you. It may seem hard but you will get through it.

MrsGulDukat Sun 20-Dec-20 10:53:40

Sadly, if you did terminate the pregnancy, your relationship was might have been doomed anyway from the resentment.

You made a decision based on what was right you and that was continuing the pregnancy. It wont be easy, but you have family support.

He may change his mind, he might not. Just remember to not rely on him unless he proves he is reliable.

pinkdragons Sun 20-Dec-20 10:59:56

There's no guarantee a relationship would have worked out with him anyway. Baby or no baby and It was only 18m in.

Prepare yourself to be a lone parent, a path well trodden.
As a positive, at least he has buggered off now rather than flitting in and out of your lives messing with the yours and the child's head.

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rottiemum88 Sun 20-Dec-20 11:00:38

But you knew from the beginning that he wanted you to terminate. When you decided to keep the baby, did you consider that you might be making that decision on the basis of having to raise the baby alone? Ultimately if you want the baby and have a supportive family then you're in a better position than many, it'll be hard but not impossible.

Lazypuppy Sun 20-Dec-20 11:05:50

If you wanted to keep the baby you haven't made the wrong decision.

However, honestly you were very unlikely to have the 'happy family' when he said from the start he didn't want you to keep it. So you should have made the decision to keep the baby knowing you were probably going to be doing it on your own.

Be prepared for him to not be around for the whole pregnancy, however he'll then rock up once baby is born for visit and access

waitinggame108 Sun 20-Dec-20 11:11:46

rottiemum88

But you knew from the beginning that he wanted you to terminate. When you decided to keep the baby, did you consider that you might be making that decision on the basis of having to raise the baby alone? Ultimately if you want the baby and have a supportive family then you're in a better position than many, it'll be hard but not impossible.


This ^

You knew his thoughts on the situation and if you went ahead with it, which you have, you knew you were forcing him into a situation he didn't want to be in.

I don't judge him, if he stands by the child which is his obligation.

He has no obligation to stay in relationship with you just because your pregnant with a child he stated early in he dosnt want.

If you were married / together 5+ years that's a different situation but you were barely together long.

It's a difficult one on all sides

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 20-Dec-20 11:32:02

Well he was wrong to ask for you to terminate, if he wasn’t using condoms he should have been.

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