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Starting again at 44

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Flakeymcwakey Wed 18-Nov-20 17:47:06

After years of thiking about leaving and trying again again, I have finally moved out at separated from exDP, father of my DS and DD7. It's taken ages, probably because I felt it wasn't that bad, just quietly soul-destroying in that I always felt let down, uncared for, like I had to be his mother as well as the kids.

But it took such a lot to get here and I am now 44, got a business struggling along because of Covid (started up 3 years ago, was just starting to make serious money when the crisis hit). I had a thing with a best mate which is resolved in some ways, but it's just finished me emotionally, I just am so beyond low I don't know how or why to pull myself up. Yes I know the children need me and they deserve a nice, happy mum who has loads of emotional and mental energy and I am doing okay with them in that they are relatively okay with the separation.

But I'm so over all of this. I need a bit of inspiration. Did anyone else wash up mid 40s, hanging on by fingertips financially and newly separated? Tell me my life will be unrecognisable in a few years. I'm just so disappointed in it, in myself

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