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Thinking I'm not going to be interesting enough(5 Posts)
Started getting to know a bloke who I'm honestly loving talking too. We've met this year and we both instantly felt attracted to eachother. We swapped numbers and everything is positive. I really like him. He also likes me. But.
I feel like I need to break it off with him because I'm nothing like his ex that he had a lovely ten year relationship with. They are still in touch and friends and I'm just the opposite of her and probably very dull compared.
I have children and so does he. But his are grown up. Mine are little. He never had kids with this women. they had ten years of romance, trips to Italy etc. They had causual evenings in the pubs and meals in restaurants all the time.
I have seen pictures of her on his Facebook and she looks carefree. She's late 30s. Seems to travel loads and is often drinking wine and looking pretty at a pub. She's not a parent so she's naturally going to have more freedom.
Me on the other hand. I'm 30 and have been mum for 6 years. I've not had the money or freedom to travel and I will be spending my 30s bringing my children up.
The last few times we've chatted he's asked little things that are perfectly acceptable but make me feel dull. Like do I enjoy wine with Sunday dinner. (I have a toddler I don't drink wine in the day)
Then he asked me if I like Italian restaurants. Perfectly acceptable question but that's what he did with his ex. When I was early 20s I went out to the pubs and things but I never was into fancy meals at that age and it was often takeaway or a big off pub dinner. I've not been out really since having the kids.
He's the sweetest bloke but I'm painfully aware he's looking for similar fun to what he had with his ex. He also said he wouldn't usually go to the cinema when I said it was something I did.
It feels like we get along so well but I feel like he's looking for a women to take out to wine and dine all the time. Its just not me. After seeing loads of photos of him and his ex (I shouldn't have looked) I just feel abit Insecure and like I will bore him.
So do you think I should end it because I can tell he adored his ex and they are still friends and he wants similar things again.
Or do I see how it goes as he knows my situation?
STOP LOOKING AT THE EX!!!
Honestly though it sounds like you are not on the same page, I'd be inclined to find someone who is at the same life stage as you.
Thats what I mean though. I think he sees me being free like his last relationship. But it's going to be very different with me to her. Unfortunately her pictures are all over his Facebook because he said it's his history. They are very close. I do think it's time for me to step back.
I think you need to explain to him how you’re feeling and also make it clear that if things continue, it’s going to be very different to his last relationship and current life:
“You always talk about enjoying going out and having fun, and a lot of these things aren’t things I’m going to be able to do because I’m tied to the DC and can’t make spontaneous decisions. I’m worried of getting involved further and then you realising that doesn’t suit you. If this is going to work then you’ll need to understand that and be happy with a different way of life.”
Although I agree with hello, if I’m honest. You sound very different as people and are in totally different places in life. I’m in his position and couldn’t see things working out with somebody in your position either.
No one posts pictures of them washing up or doing the ironing. It’s an edited snapshot of their relationship. He’s also not with her at the moment.
How did you meet?
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