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You lot are good with words, please help me out!

31 replies

Freeekedout · 17/11/2020 23:15

My manager has sent me a very nasty email this evening and copied in the Chair of Governors. It was a bit of a character assassination 🥲 I need to acknowledge her message but I don't want to reply properly until I have spoken to my union. In the past she has accused me of being childish and rude when I've taken time to consider my response to her missives. So I need to send a holding email so she knows I've received her message and I'm seeking advice.

I have drafted "Thank you for your email. I will contact my union before sending my reply to your message."

It sounds really abrupt and I know it's going to rub her up the wrong way. I am keen to avoid making the situation worse. I will hit reply all so the Chair of Governors will also see my reply, therefore I want to sound bright and breezy, pleasant and professional even though my manager has really upset me with the hurtful comments in her email and I've spent all night being royally pissed off

Anyone got any suggestions for me? Please?! I will send the reply really tomorrow morning so that she doesn't think she's ruined my evening. Bitch Angry Thank you Flowers

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Newkitty · 17/11/2020 23:18

I think your response is perfect (assuming you want them to know you’re going to contact your union). Concise, unemotional, factual. If I was your boss I would be shitting myself about having sent a character assassination! She sounds awful.

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Pieceofpurplesky · 17/11/2020 23:19

Thank you for your email. I will be responding fully when I have had time to consider your words.

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Hotwaterbottlelove · 17/11/2020 23:20

How about- Thank you for the views that you have shared below. I am going to take some time to reflect on the options and next steps.

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FredtheFerret · 17/11/2020 23:22

I wouldn't thank her! How about I confirm receipt of your email dated 16 Nov. Given the serious nature of your allegations I will be taking legal advice before making any further comment.

Then hit reply all.

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Enough4me · 17/11/2020 23:25

I'd mix the messages from PP:
I confirm receipt of your email dated 16 Nov. I am going to take some time to reflect on the options and next steps.

Keep it vague to keep the upper hand.

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JamieLeeCurtains · 17/11/2020 23:26

I wouldn't say thank you! I'd acknowledge receipt and say that given the contents, which you dispute, and the unprofessional manner in which they have been disseminated, you will be consulting your Union before responding further.

Definitely cc Chair of Governors and all relevant seniors/HR.

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ComDummings · 17/11/2020 23:27

@FredtheFerret

I wouldn't thank her! How about I confirm receipt of your email dated 16 Nov. Given the serious nature of your allegations I will be taking legal advice before making any further comment.

Then hit reply all.

This is perfect ^ definitely don’t say thank you anywhere in your reply!
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myhobbyisouting · 17/11/2020 23:29

Unless it's "thanks for fucking nothing" then deffo no thank you!

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chickenyhead · 17/11/2020 23:29

wouldn't thank her! How about I confirm receipt of your email dated 16 Nov. Given the serious nature of your allegations I will be taking legal advice before making any further comment.

Then hit reply all.

THIS

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Aquamarine1029 · 17/11/2020 23:31

I would not be saying "thank you."

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Jellycatspyjamas · 17/11/2020 23:32

I’d go for “I acknowledge receipt of your email dated X, given the tone and content I’m sure you’ll appreciate my need to consider your comments before responding more fully. I will contact you once I have been able to obtain appropriate advice from my Union”

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JaJaDingDong · 17/11/2020 23:33

Do you need to acknowledge it at all?

The sender can see if an email has been read.

I think I'd let her stew until you've talked to your Union, unless she specifically asks you if you've read it, and then you can use one of the suggested replies above.

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HillaryWhitney · 17/11/2020 23:34

I like @Jellycatspyjamas reply

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Longdistance · 17/11/2020 23:36

Was she drunk or is she just a cunt in general?

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PanamaPattie · 17/11/2020 23:37

Why do you need to reply? Has she requested a response?

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hopsalong · 17/11/2020 23:45

I think the thank you actually hits rather a good passive aggressive note. But can see why it might seem weak, too. How about:

This very detailed message must have taken some time to draft, and it will take time for me to formulate a reply to each of your points. I will be in touch again soon after I've consulted with my union. As I'm sure you'll understand, given my need to protect personal data, this is a conversation that I hope to continue in the first instance in private.

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hopsalong · 17/11/2020 23:46

And reply all. She should be shitting herself about having included any identifying information about you in the first place -- so try to write a reply that makes her worry about that. A more immediate problem than the union.

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Ditheringdooley · 17/11/2020 23:55

How about:

‘I am acknowledging receipt of your email. I will respond to the content and specific points raised under separate cover. [I will also be consulting with my union before responding.]’

—- comments:

‘ email of X date’ is a bit unnecessary if you are replying to email of X. Seems like a reach for formality, I would drop it.

I don’t understand refs above to personal data, I don’t think that is relevant.

Don’t mention seeking legal advice unless you def are. I have included the reference to a union in case you want to include.

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Ditheringdooley · 17/11/2020 23:56

Or just ‘separately’ rather than under separate cover. That’s also a bit more formal sounding that you probably want here!

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Jellycatspyjamas · 18/11/2020 00:00

As I'm sure you'll understand, given my need to protect personal data, this is a conversation that I hope to continue in the first instance in private.

I wouldn’t say that, she started it in public, I’d continue it in public otherwise you give her room to say she’s been misunderstood or to take her unpleasant behaviour behind closed doors.

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BookShark · 18/11/2020 00:00

Thanks for your email. I appreciate you have realised a number of points, which I need to consider before I give you a full reply. I will come back to you once I have had to a chance to discuss these with my union, to ensure I am giving you a considered response"

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BookShark · 18/11/2020 00:00

*realised = raised

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switswooo · 18/11/2020 00:06

I confirm receipt of your email dated 16 Nov. Given the serious nature of your allegations I will be taking advice from my union before making any further comment.

I would mix what FredtheFerret and Enoughforme said and say above.

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PastMyBestBeforeDate · 18/11/2020 00:13

I think I'd go with
I acknowledge receipt of your email. I will respond to you fully once I have taken appropriate advice.

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Freeekedout · 18/11/2020 00:27

I knew there would be a better way of putting it! Thank you all.

No allegations have been made against me but she has really put me down, pointed out each and every one of my areas for development - which were identified informally during an appraisal - using it against me. I've been on the receiving end of these sorts of emails before from her and she has totally destroyed my confidence... again.

I have spoken to the union this evening and they are backing me 100%, but I want to buy myself some time in which to write a considered response without the hurt and anger I am feeling at the moment.

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