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My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

(674 Posts)
ChooseYourLameName Sun 15-Nov-20 13:50:15

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted blush But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them sad

OP’s posts: |
user1487194234 Sun 15-Nov-20 13:51:59

I wouldn't have sent my mum a card from a multi pack
What kind of card do you normally send her

SayakaMurata Sun 15-Nov-20 13:52:00

She's being ridiculous, don't worry about it.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 15-Nov-20 13:52:15

That was very unpleasant of her.
How is the relationship usually?
Sounds like something my mil would do. Find something to criticise rather than say thank you

willloman Sun 15-Nov-20 13:53:17

Never understood the big card thing.
thought that counts?

Ughmaybenot Sun 15-Nov-20 13:54:05

How fucking rude of her. She’s being a brat, don’t give a seconds more thought to her childish behaviour.

TwoZeroTwoZero Sun 15-Nov-20 13:54:27

A card's a card. If she doesn't like it, tough. It doesn't mean any less just because it's from a pack.

ivfbeenbusy Sun 15-Nov-20 13:54:49

Yeah my mother and sibling wouldn't appreciate a multi pack card either.....

HelloDulling Sun 15-Nov-20 13:54:54

What sort of card would she deem appropriate? A special, To a Dear Mother Mother at Christmas one? To get one of those, you would need to go to a shop especially, which is hardly practical at the moment.

She is being very silly.

ChaToilLeam Sun 15-Nov-20 13:55:58

I always send multipack cards, quite normal in my family, nobody expects anything different. She’s being daft.

beela Sun 15-Nov-20 13:55:58

What? I don't even send my mum a card usually, because I see her!

Wellthisismorethanabitgrim Sun 15-Nov-20 13:56:12

My ex-MIL would have been like this over not getting a 'special' card. She's a lovely lady, not grabby, didn't care about presents, but used to get really upset if her card wasn't a special mum one with a poem inside. I never understood why.

MeepleMe Sun 15-Nov-20 13:56:26

In my family we often just send one from multipack, to parents/siblings, or occasionally a slightly nicer one. However in DH's family I quickly realised they definitely do not do this. They send what I consider to be very schmaltzy twee 'to our darling sister and brother in law' type with inner leaflets, poems etc. So to them we do send slightly fancier ones, to avoid upset. I suppose it depends on what sort of card you and your mum normally exchange OP?

mogloveseggs Sun 15-Nov-20 13:56:36

Dm does individual cards
I do multipack
She doesn't bother - I don't have the money to go buying individual ones.
Your mum was not very nice about it.

ExplodingCarrots Sun 15-Nov-20 13:56:56

I've found the older generation can be really precious about Xmas cards. DHs side of the family are awful for it. ' Can you believe the audacity of Jenny*, she sent me a poxy card from a box, shows how much she cares' - is what Ive heard numerous times over the years. I refuse to spend ££ on cards now. Your mum probably sounds similar , but she sounds very rude. You done nothing wrong OP.

Gazelda Sun 15-Nov-20 13:58:17

She sounds miserable. And it's a shame she didn't enjoy received no your card.

But I have to say, if I receive a multipack Christmas card in the middle of November, I'd think the sender was bored during lockdown and taking the time to get ahead with chores. ie something to tick off the Christmas to do list. Rather than a thoughtful, timely card sent with sentiment and festive wishes.

SionnachRua Sun 15-Nov-20 13:59:40

A card is a card, who gives a shite if it's from a multipack or not. If it upsets her that much I guess she'll be happier getting no card next year?

HotSince63 Sun 15-Nov-20 13:59:51

You and your mum are both nuts - you for sending Christmas cards out before we are even halfway through November, and your mum for being upset that her card wasn't special enough.

Tbh if I received a Christmas card in the post tomorrow it'd go straight in the bin because honestly, it's not a thoughtful gesture, it's something you've ticked off your 'to do' list, there's no real sentiment or festive wishes in a Christmas card sent this early.

diddlediddle Sun 15-Nov-20 14:00:20

This is symptomatic of your general relationship with your mum I would say. No reasonable person with a healthy relationship with their daughter would be so rude and childish over a Christmas card. She sounds like she has some issues and also poor communication skills, if she was genuinely hurt by it there are more appropriate ways to let you know. Sorry you've got such a tricky relationship thanks

M0rT Sun 15-Nov-20 14:01:03

I always do multipacks as they are usually to support a charity.
If my Christmas present for someone close like parents or a sibling is in paper form, voucher or tickets etc I will get an individual card. But otherwise everyone gets multipack.
I know my in-laws would prefer individual but I prefer supporting charity over Hallmark.

FTMF30 Sun 15-Nov-20 14:01:11

I'd be mire annoyed you sent it halfway through November. But that's a personal issue I have. I can't stand, premature, marathon festivities.

I probably would feel a little offended if was your DM and I got a multipack card (halfway through November!) but not enough to comment on it. I think, generally, it's rude to comment negatively on those kinds of things.

ChooseYourLameName Sun 15-Nov-20 14:01:15

I don’t usually send cards for what it’s worth

OP’s posts: |
SBTLove Sun 15-Nov-20 14:01:29

You sent cards out 6 weeks before Xmas?
That’s odd in itself hmm

dementedpixie Sun 15-Nov-20 14:01:46

I always send from a multipack and have never bought individual ones. Ungrateful woman!
Although I haven't even bought any this year yet

NaturalStudy Sun 15-Nov-20 14:02:04

To be honest, this sounds like both of you need to find more interesting things to think about.

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