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Would it be terrible if I didn’t send DD to nursery/preschool?

(17 Posts)
Trousersareoverrated Thu 12-Nov-20 11:58:52

DD has been going to her childminder full time since she was 9 months old and is now 2.5 years old. We are having another baby next year.

I had been considering sending DD to a pre-school when she turns 3 (possibly 2 days a week) but now I’m swaying towards leaving her at her Childminder’s until she starts school. She has other children her age there and she has a lovely bond with her childminder who is very good at giving the children lots of different activities to do. I have no issues with her development, she is extremely confident speaking to other children and we spend time with friends who have kids her age at the weekends too. Her new brother or sister would hopefully go there too at the end of next year which would obviously make things easier for pickup/drop off.

What would you do?

OP’s posts: |
Rememberallball Thu 12-Nov-20 12:14:20

Do what you feel comfortable with; I don’t intend sending my twins to nursery when they turn 3 as I’d rather look after them myself than have others do it and, round here, you have to pay for 15 hours a week on top of the free hours and I can’t justify (or afford) £180/week for them to go to pre-school/nursery!!

BlackeyedSusan Thu 12-Nov-20 12:15:35

Keep her at the child minder. Home and family, or Child minder are equally valid forms of preschool experience to nursery or preschool. "Home and family" can have better ratios for example.

OrangeGinLemonFanta Thu 12-Nov-20 12:16:17

She's happy and you're happy with the arrangement. Leave it as it is. She's used to being out of the house, following someone else's routine and instructions, preschool isn't going to offer more than that.

Trousersareoverrated Thu 12-Nov-20 12:33:34

Thanks everyone. I just wondered if she would benefit from being in a classroom type environment with lots of other kids rather than suddenly being chucked in at the deep end when school starts. I think my other concern is that the other children in her Childminder’s will move on to preschool and she will end up only having much younger kids to interact with.

My mum stayed at home with me and i was an extremely shy child so I wanted to try and get her socialised - however she seems to have inherited DH’s extroverted personality anyway so I worry about that less.

OP’s posts: |
SomethingOnce Thu 12-Nov-20 12:42:45

Yep, think it’s largely a personality thing.

Reception is so play-based that it won’t be much different to nursery and most children settle in really quickly.

Also, we’ve not had pre-schools for most of human history and people have managed just fine socially.

MrsWhites Thu 12-Nov-20 12:47:38

My DS didn’t go to pre-school, stayed at home with me. He was the only child in his reception class that didn’t go to the school nursery, I was so worried but his teacher was amazing and he took to school like a duck to water!

reluctantbrit Thu 12-Nov-20 12:53:21

Not every pre-school or nursery is a classroom type of setting. DD's nursery pre-school room was just the same as the others, just more stimulation for older children and more preparation of being independant and dealing with issues themselves. The room leader was actually a primary school teacher and just put lots of emphasis on fine motor skills, concentration and taking turns in a group.

As long as your child has contact to children of her own age and is with adults away from home the setting itself is not that important. I actually don't like the school nursery/pre-school settings where they have to wear uniform and actual "learn" in a formal environment, they are too tiny for this with just 3.

reluctantbrit Thu 12-Nov-20 12:55:12

Forgot one thing: do check with the childminder if the other children of her age are staying. If she is the only one I would say a couple of days pre-school are good for her.

Here most childminders only have the pre-schoolers for add-on hours. Having to deal with other children is important.

icedaisy Thu 12-Nov-20 12:58:48

The only thing I would be worried about is bugs.

Dd was absolutely hammered first winter in nursery with everything going. I was glad that wasn't school as she was honestly barely in the bloody place.

I understand from friends and here that is common. So the earlier you get it out the way the better. Although right now might not be ideal either with the covid test issue.

OhToBeASeahorse Thu 12-Nov-20 13:22:28

If the other kids are staying I'd leave her be. I wanted to do that with our CM but the other 2 children are going off to preschool so DS would be 3 with 2 one year olds (one of which is his sister)

INeedNewShoes Thu 12-Nov-20 13:39:29

I know I'd be reluctant to change things if DD is so happy with the childminder, but there are a couple of reasons that I think going to a larger childcare/preschool setting is beneficial for my DC:

Like pp upthread mentions, my DD's first six months of nursery were ludicrous with the number of colds/tummy bugs/chest infections/viral rashes etc. that she caught. She had a lot of time off. I would have hated her to miss the amount of school that she missed off these first few months of nursery. I'm hoping that her immune system is now primed to cope with school a little better.

Also, DD is great socialising with adults and great socialising with small groups of children when we get together with friends but she struggles a bit with the hecticness/noisiness of the larger group at nursery. Again, I'm glad she's having the chance to learn to cope with this now rather than it being something she is first presented with at school.

grandmasterstitch Thu 12-Nov-20 14:11:23

I sent DS at 2 because is paediatrician recommend it. He wasn't walking and wasn't really talking and she said it would really help. Then covid hit so he didn't go for 6 months. He started back in September (he is now walking) and his speech is coming on so much. It's worth it, I just wish it wasn't so expensive. But if your DC is with a childminder then they're already getting the socialisation with other children so maybe not

SparklyOwl Thu 12-Nov-20 14:17:50

Going against everyone else but I would send to preschool to familiarise with a classroom surroundings, lots of other children and the set hours.

YR isn’t as play based as it used to be, so being used to a classroom and full time school hours is an advantage.

Aroundtheworldin80moves Thu 12-Nov-20 14:18:00

I noticed at 2.5 all the three year olds disappeared from playgroups, toddler music etc. So she didn't really have any children of her age to interact with at them.

Talk to the childminder.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide Wed 18-Nov-20 10:58:09

My dd is going to school next September and she started in nursery yet months ago. She absolutely hates it. I am thinking of swapping her to a childminder (I know a really good one who has a brilliant setting which is like a small nursery) the only thing stopping me is I don't want her to struggle when she gets to school. It's so hard. But in your situation op I'd stick with what you know!

mooncakes Wed 18-Nov-20 11:02:33

I’m a childminder and usually have at least one child who stays with me instead of going to preschool (this year I have two). Doesn’t seem to cause any issues when they start school.

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