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Tips for dealing with the 5 year old police

(13 Posts)
Readysetcake Mon 02-Nov-20 07:56:11

DD just turned five and is going through a phase of policing everyone’s behaviour. Particularly her little brother and will repeat everything I say to him. E.g if I tell him he can’t eat a stone she will say yeah you can’t eat that it’s bad for you. This makes him angrier than he already is (terrible twos). But, I found out she also does it to her peers in school after the parents evening chat with her teacher.

I’ve tried to explain that it’s parents and teachers jobs to correct people and her job to have fun and not worry about other people not using a spoon correctly or repeating everything I say to her little brother.

I worry she will alienate herself at school and it winds up her brother which causes arguments and is driving me mad. Any tips??

OP’s posts: |
Sunnydaysstillhere Mon 02-Nov-20 07:57:48

Tell her being a grown up means lots of chores.
Give her a list and ask if she is resigning..

TheMandalorian Mon 02-Nov-20 07:59:12

Can you sit her down and explain again calmly but firmly. Sometimes takes a few goes to get the idea across.
Its definately a normal phase and it generally sorts itself out though.

Readysetcake Mon 02-Nov-20 08:17:55

Glad to hear it’s a normal phase. I guess I’ll just keep repeating the message gently but firmly until it sinks in.

OP’s posts: |
WoahHeyThere Mon 02-Nov-20 08:32:14

Following cos my 4 year old does this too 🤦‍♀️

NotSorry Mon 02-Nov-20 08:52:02

I used to say to mine “when I want you to be the mummy, I’ll give you the badge”

Yeah, it’s pretty normal OP, I’d forgotten that phase

Islagray11 Mon 02-Nov-20 08:58:42

Omgod my 3 year old is just like this.

He does it with all of his friends and at school. He drops his friends in it if they so much as touch him and will say they pushed him etc. He tells everyone they are doing things wrong and shows them how to do it properly.

I have zero advice but will be watching this in case anyone has any good ideas.

I too worry about him alienating himself. I work with someone who still does this at the age of 25, and that really worries me. She is incredibly irritating and has no friends, and I don't want the same fate for my son.

Hope you find some answers here x

custardbear Mon 02-Nov-20 09:03:33

My 12 year old does this to my 8 year old son, me and her dad - I say 'oh sorry mum' or 'is he your child ?' ... followed by a raised eyebrow - she sniffers and says sorry! - I think they're learning to be grown ups

My DD was like that as a child too, I had to say 'who is the mummy here' ... sorry mummy 😆

Athrawes Mon 02-Nov-20 09:04:16

Mine did the same at that age. It's pretty normal, especially for kids who are naturally compliant and rule abiding. They can't see why other kids don't follow the rules.
We, his parents and teachers, just had to keep reminding him that he can only be responsible for his own behaviour and that is not his job to be in charge.
But he did find it upsetting that other kids didn't follows the rules, so try to sympathise a bit.
He's 10 now and still a rule-keeper. He will probably be a health and safety officer.

JurassicShay Mon 02-Nov-20 09:11:55

I had one of these, I used to say "it's nothing to do with you, thank you" on repetition every time she was sticking her nose in.

Readysetcake Mon 02-Nov-20 09:14:19

@Athrawes that made me giggle. I will try to be sympathetic. It must be a confusing time to be told to follow the rules but then told not to worry if other people don’t.
@Islagray11 I worry about her growing up to be like your colleague! I think we’ve all met someone like that and they’re not very popular. But I take comfort in the fact she’s five and a lot can change. I’ll keep telling her that she’s not responsible for other people and just keep it up with the you’re not the mummy. Hopefully it will sink in. Thanks.

OP’s posts: |
Rainallnight Mon 02-Nov-20 14:34:28

My four year old is very similar and I think I was similar at that age blush. We’re both older sisters and I think it comes with the territory.

I say v clearly to DD that it’s not her job, that is my job etc. When she does it to friends, I say very clearly that it’s their Mummy’s job to make the rules/make sure they’re behaving, not hers.

I’m hoping she’ll grow out of it.

Sunnydaysstillhere Mon 02-Nov-20 14:54:28

Sometimes I ask my 15 to dd when she turned into my dm..

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