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How long do you want house guests?

(57 Posts)
SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 01:34:21

I was having this conversation with some friends recently - I realised that I absolutely hate house guests, of any duration longer than a night or weekend max. It doesn’t matter who they are, I’m very introverted and countdown until they leave. I don’t think I let on about this, people always stay longer. It’s more dramatic after having 3 kids, I used to mind less but really a week was long enough.
My friend LOVES having guests to stay and catching up with friends in her home. She has people to stay all the time. So we are opposite ends of the spectrum. But I also don’t ever want to stay with people either, I always put us up nearby if possible.
What do most people think? How do you arrange it if so? Do you tell people who say they’d like to come for a week you want less? Or just take it as it goes?

OP’s posts: |
allthewaterinthetap Sat 31-Oct-20 01:35:57

I'd go mad after a week. I don't like people staying much at all.

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 01:36:14

I’m trying to be more generous generally and I am good host! I just absolutely hate it in private. I haven’t even told my husband this.
Is it an extreme point of view?

OP’s posts: |
nicerbeing Sat 31-Oct-20 01:36:32

I never have guests. My home is my space and I have absolutely no desire to share it. I am autistic though, probably has a lot to do with it.

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 01:36:40

I love people! I’d just like to meet up with them.

OP’s posts: |
FinallyFluid Sat 31-Oct-20 01:36:48

Benjamin Franklin famously said that guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 01:44:33

So how do you diplomatically strike a balance? Being generous but also imposing a limit?

OP’s posts: |
Finfintytint Sat 31-Oct-20 01:46:24

Two nights max. That only applies to one particular couple who are are our close friends. Anyone else, including family are no go! I like my home and need the escape.

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 01:56:32

Finfintytint

Two nights max. That only applies to one particular couple who are are our close friends. Anyone else, including family are no go! I like my home and need the escape.

How do you achieve this? What do you say when people ask?

OP’s posts: |
grassisjeweled Sat 31-Oct-20 01:57:53

Are they visiting from far away? Tbh more than 3 days is pushing it a bit

grassisjeweled Sat 31-Oct-20 01:58:57

Different too if you do ALL the hosting : house prep, cleaning, food making ( 3 meals a day!!) general running around, fetching and carrying etc

Bargebill19 Sat 31-Oct-20 01:59:39

Never. There is a lovely hotel down the road.
I also never stay at anyone’s home overnight - I prefer a hotel or b n b. Just nice to have some space and peace .... and someone else to cook breakfast. !

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 02:01:10

Yes far away enough for a flight usually! We have family all over, and my husband hasn’t lived in the same state as his bestie for many years.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Sat 31-Oct-20 02:02:08

Never. Aside from parents no one stays at my home, and I won't apologise for it either. If someone loves company, good for them. My house, I live the way I want to.

SquarePeggyLeggy Sat 31-Oct-20 02:02:24

So when people ask you just say no? Even relatives? I feel like it’s not an option to just say no.

OP’s posts: |
PhilCornwall1 Sat 31-Oct-20 02:06:07

Never have people stay over (thank christ!!), if people visit, after a couple of hours I want them to bugger off.

TheChosenTwo Sat 31-Oct-20 02:15:36

I don’t mind guests for a few days but no one ever comes to stay for longer than that anyway.
I like having people to stay but never stay at anyone else’s, I prefer to book in to a nice hotel.

Bargebill19 Sat 31-Oct-20 02:15:44

@SquarePeggyLeggy

Your home- your rules. ! Of course you can say no, or yes, but only for x days.

StartupRepair Sat 31-Oct-20 02:22:07

Come for the weekend but we are flat out during the week so I will point you towards a nice Airbnb.

IdblowJonSnow Sat 31-Oct-20 02:27:13

We have no room for guests anymore but when we did, a night or two was more than enough!
It's nothing personal but I really crave my own space.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 31-Oct-20 02:32:07

So when people ask you just say no? Even relatives? I feel like it’s not an option to just say no.

You need to grow a backbone. "No" is always an option. Don't allow others to dictate your life or cross your boundaries.

Bluntness100 Sat 31-Oct-20 02:38:12

A couple of nights for me, but habe had guests staying longer and don’t mind at all. I love having guests, but a friend of mine takes to to extremes. She’s early fifties and retired, never had kids, she has friends to stay every single weekend, and I mean every weekend, very rarely is there not someone there, often it’s multiple couples, so four or six people at a time.

It’s like a bed and breakfast, she spends during the week cleaning snd changing the beds, and then the weekend hosting. I honestly have no idea how they live like that.

When they retired a couple of years ago they actually upsized, to a six bed house in a cheaper location so they could have friends to stay. Costs them a fortune,

Dixiee Sat 31-Oct-20 02:39:11

It depends on the guests but generally 4 days max as I can't stand to see the same people for long periods of time. When I stay over at close family, it's usually 3 days max and I help out with everything and even cook. If I can't cook, I treat them for a take away. I hover, clear up, unload the dishwasher and never leave any of my personal items lying around to annoy anyone. I even fold washing if there's any. So I kind of expect the same from my guests smile

Nandocushion Sat 31-Oct-20 02:46:17

FinallyFluid

Benjamin Franklin famously said that guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

I actually hate this quote because it doesn't take into account different circumstances and different guests. A good friend who's just coming to see me and will therefore take up all my time and attention? 2-3 days. Parents - 3 nights max, they need to be doing things all the time and make me edgy. DB, DBIL, SIL, a week would be fine, same with MIL - all of them are self sufficient and DB and SIL would probably insist on doing most of the cooking! And of course all this only now applies since I got a big house with lots of room - it was different in smaller homes and flats - and since the children are older, and I don't have to go to bed at 8.30pm in order to function the next day.

Finfintytint Sat 31-Oct-20 05:58:21

I just say no, sorry. We did live opposite a B and B and next door to a hotel. I just direct them there. We’ve moved well away from family now but I can’t see anyone being allowed to stay for a while now so don’t anticipate any rejections for some time.

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