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To ask what it's like having 3 kids?

(99 Posts)
itwasrebekahvardysaccount Sun 25-Oct-20 18:14:05

DS is 4 next month and DD just turned 2.
I'm feeling broody again and I can't help it I've always swore I only want 2 but here I am again.

OH isn't against it but isn't for it either as we will need a bigger car and the financial side of it.

Am I bonkers? What is it like having 3 kids close in age.

OP’s posts: |
Remmy123 Sun 25-Oct-20 18:16:51

I'm finding it too hectic and restricting

Remmy123 Sun 25-Oct-20 18:17:35

My friend has 3 and doesn't so I think it's pointless asking as everyone is different

HermioneKipper Sun 25-Oct-20 18:19:53

Very hard and a bugger financially. I find it exhausting and stressful although that may just be me

Ponoka7 Sun 25-Oct-20 18:22:40

It's hard work and can seem a lot more than two. Getting about, going to the fair, booking hotels is more awkward as they grow. You can't go swimming etc on your own with them.

I wanted three, I enjoy children. Will you ever possibly have to need benefits? You won't get them for a third. Having a few children can make special occasions nicer. I'd dely if possible, until into next year, because of Covid and appointments being difficult.

Magicbabywaves Sun 25-Oct-20 18:23:47

I reckon I should’ve stopped at two. Things are a lot easier with two.

purplecup Sun 25-Oct-20 18:24:11

I have 3 children. The first two are close in age but there is a 5 year gap between my youngest two.
Honestly, the mum guilt is incredibly overwhelming sometimes. It's impossible for me to give them all the attention they need.
That being said, the joy of having three children outweighs any negatives. It's not easy, but it's worth it!

Mildpanic Sun 25-Oct-20 18:29:23

My 3rd makes me smile every day. Bloodey hard but would not be without. Lockdown has changed things so much where they all fought on and off. They are so close now it is amazing to see their relationships developing. 3 is amazing for me. Everyone is different though. I was only ever having 1 by the way.
I am permanent cook and washer but part of that is my doing, if I ask them to help out they are more than willing.

Dmtush Sun 25-Oct-20 18:33:22

Exhausting in weird ways. The house is always a tip, one child is always pissed off, they make each other hyper, it’s so expensive, I feel like I’ve had a toddler for a decade.

It’s wonderful, wouldn’t change it for the world.

BackforGood Sun 25-Oct-20 18:36:18

It gets asked on here a lot.
I love having 3.
My eldest and youngest are 5 yrs and 3 months apart, but, because of the way their birthdays fall, they are each 3 school years apart - that helps with things like not having to be paying out for the expensive things at the same time (be that childcare, the expensive school ski trip or University). It also means you can pass down some of the more expensive extras you have to buy them (walking boots / football boots, etc).
Of course it is hard work when they are little, but that repays itself in always having someone to play with as they get a bit older.

Duckchick Sun 25-Oct-20 18:38:15

We have a 5.5 year old, an almost 4 year old and a 15 month old so fairly similar gaps to what you'd be looking at.

I initially found going from 2 to 3 easier than 1 to 2. That's probably mainly because of the bigger gap (2 years 9 months vs 1 year 9 months) and partly because I was more used to juggling kids. I didn't find the baby stage so bad. However, we are now finding the toddler stage hard going, it's much harder having 2 older DC and one toddler into everything. If I set up something to entertain the older two, like a game or a craft DC3 now desperately wants to participate and gets furious when he can't but is destructive if I let him. If I set something up for him either the older two take over, get silly or get bored. If we go somewhere DC3 has a breakdown if he isn't allowed out the buggy with the other two, but trying to keep an eye on 3 DC going in opposite directions is impossible. I'm hoping it'll get easier as DC3 gets older! I like the chaos and love watching them interact and have no regrets but I can't pretend it isn't hard work!

tootiredtothinkofanewname Sun 25-Oct-20 18:43:11

I love having 3. I always wanted 3 or 4. Going from 2 to 3 was a lot easier than 1 to 2. I don't think we'll have more though. We can just about manage with a standard car and booking 1 room/cabin for holidays. Having another would need a lot of extras.

FourTeaFallOut Sun 25-Oct-20 18:45:59

It's a real adventure. It's a life of fun and laughter and it's rich with learning and sport but it can be exhausting and expensive.

I think if you feel like you have a good amount of give in life - money, energy, enthusiasm, time then it can be a great option but if you feel like you are already running at the upper limit of capacity then I'd wait a while before you make the decision.

GentlyGentlyOhDear Sun 25-Oct-20 18:47:36

Mine have bigger gaps (8, 5 and 7 months) but I love it so far! I can foresee issues with booking holidays etc as they get older, but I love that I am enjoying their different stages and seeing their relationships develop. Obviously its tiring and hard to manage all their needs sometimes, but its not as hard as people were warning me, but that may be to come!

autumnboys Sun 25-Oct-20 18:48:52

I have three. It’s chaotic, but we love it. Knackering when they’re little though.

Aquicknamechange2019 Sun 25-Oct-20 18:53:11

I have 3 and it's great - yes it is chaos and busy and I'm knackered but there is so much love, chat and laughter in our house. They are 9, 6 and 3. DC3 wasn't planned but best thing we ever did!

HazeyJaneII Sun 25-Oct-20 18:55:34

Manic and messy.
Lovely too, but I am fucking knackered 95% of the time
(14 and 13 year old dds and 10 year old ds)

gower4 Sun 25-Oct-20 18:58:51

I love it

Mummysgonetobed Sun 25-Oct-20 18:59:13

Chaos. Mine are 7, 4 and 2. I always feel guilty that I’m not meeting everyone’s needs. I’m exhausted, they’re expensive. But, they are best friends, are always laughing and playing together which is so nice to watch. The youngest is at the into everything stage which is getting annoying for the bigger two, but the stage shouldn’t last long.

However, life was most definitely simpler with 2.

Fruggalo Sun 25-Oct-20 19:04:13

Outnumbered if a documentary, not a comedy programme.

It is another scale of stuff: washing, keeping track of who needs what when, who doesn’t like peas at the moment, who was the last one to choose [insert treat of choice].

But the joy is amazing. There are lots more relationships in the house and it has affected the older ones in different ways. Practically, no one is ever going to look after all three at a time (but then no one was ever going to look after two at a time for us so no difference for us).

Initially I found an awful lot of guilt at being stretched in three different ways. I’ve got over some of that but I do regret the lack of 1:1 time.

I’m very very glad I did it. But, financially it wasn’t terrible for us and we’re pretty organised people. And I do feel done and complete now. But I do think what life would be like if we’d stopped at two.

sickohsickofthisshit Sun 25-Oct-20 19:09:18

Hard work holidays are expensive and Xmas well
That's a nightmare. Number 3 was a gift from
God and I wouldn't have it any other way but it wasn't planned

Pyewhacket Sun 25-Oct-20 19:19:10

You hit all sorts of snags with three. You need a bigger car, holidays are more expensive and teens sharing a room can get fraught. I was lucky , we could afford a cleaner and the house is big enough for them to have their own room. But mx in with that a large dog ( St Bernard ) and my son's botty mouthed African Grey parrot and it can get quite chaotic.

Puffinhead Sun 25-Oct-20 19:19:15

Magicbabywaves

I reckon I should’ve stopped at two. Things are a lot easier with two.

I feel this too. Then I feel terrible for even thinking it as my DC3 is lovely. A really happy, funny child.

The mum guilt is constant. Never giving enough attention to them.

Funnily enough, I found it ok when they were all little and baby no. 3 really did slot in. There’s 2 years between the first two and they were really close. And 3.5 years between the 2nd and 3rd.

I find dealing with their emotional needs constantly draining, especially as the older 2 are now teenagers.

It’s expensive - clothes, clubs etc but also holidays/days out - everything geared for families of 4.

I was also a SAHM for years so this affected my job prospects (and confidence). Not to mention years of doing the bloody school run!! Got another 2 years to go.

They are all great kids, and were all planned, but I can’t help wishing I’d stuck to 2 at times (and I’ve never admitted that to anyone).

Dogsaresomucheasier Sun 25-Oct-20 19:25:05

I love having three, but it is expensive and hard work. Our third was unplanned, but, if I had planned it, I’d have wanted them closer in age!

peakygal Sun 25-Oct-20 19:28:53

I have 3 girls 17, 12 and almost 8 so different age ranges for a lot of things which can make it really hard in some ways but in saying that I wouldn't be without them..I feel complete because of them

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