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Dishwasher loading /unloading - not same person?

(38 Posts)
russetred Fri 09-Oct-20 23:00:55

In our house, we generally agree that family members should share household chores. Some are permanently assigned (I do all the laundry, DH does all the food shopping, for example) and some are more flexible.

So, the dishwasher! I generally think that the person who rinses the dishes, loads the dishwasher and sets it running shouldn't then also have to be the person who unloads it and puts it away, and I thought this was a fairly common viewpoint but DH disagrees. He said he wanted evidence of this being a commonly held idea. So I thought I'd check what the good folks of Mumsnet think!

OP’s posts: |
NannyR Fri 09-Oct-20 23:05:30

I don't think it's anyone's "job" as such? If you use a dish, you put it in the dishwasher, if you notice it's full you switch it on, if you notice it's finished, you empty it.

DramaAlpaca Fri 09-Oct-20 23:05:32

In our house, loading and unloading the dishwasher was the responsibility of the three teenagers, who took turns. Now it's just the youngest left at home, it's solely his job. Not helpful at all if it's just the two of you, sorry!

dudsville Fri 09-Oct-20 23:07:25

I understand that you live in a house where this is a valid consideration. We're only two and it's just randomly done by both of us, we wouldn't say that because one loaded then they or the other must unload it.

Pascha Fri 09-Oct-20 23:10:17

Dh and I take it in turns to be up first in the morning to make the tea and empty the dishwasher. It's not a hard and fast rule though.

skankingpiglet Fri 09-Oct-20 23:11:17

In our house DH loads and uploads the dishwasher plus washes up and puts away everything that didn't go into the machine. It is his job and is balanced by me doing all the meal planning, food shopping, and cooking.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Fri 09-Oct-20 23:12:33

Hmm, not directly comparable, but I load it and DS (8) unloads it. That’s because I don’t trust him to load it well enough yet though - hope I wouldn’t think this of a partner (or address it like this!).

russetred Fri 09-Oct-20 23:13:31

Just to add that there's a 12-y-o here too who also has to help out with this kind of stuff. So I'm not suggesting it's one particular person who does it, just that it shouldn't have to be the same person doing both the jobs, IYSWIM.

OP’s posts: |
inappropriateraspberry Fri 09-Oct-20 23:14:46

I usually load and put on after dinner, then I empty the next morning. At the weekend, I load and DH unloads. He can never load it right and can't fit everything in!

fairydustandpixies Fri 09-Oct-20 23:17:38

I rinse, load the dishwasher, get it running and also empty it. I do all laundry, shopping and cleaning. I also live alone now so am absolutely no use at all in answering your dilemma! I do wish my adult DC were still at home to bicker with about it though!

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander Fri 09-Oct-20 23:18:00

I cook. DC (16 and 13) are responsible for loading/unloading the dishwasher. If they don't want to do that they can cook.
How they choose to divide the task is up to them.

schoolcook Fri 09-Oct-20 23:18:56

I'll rinse and load all day long but absolutely hate unloading it.
Luckily my DS doesn't mind that bit so it does tend to be shared here.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander Fri 09-Oct-20 23:18:59

We don't rinse the dishes first though. Are we meant to? confusedgrin

MJMG2015 Fri 09-Oct-20 23:19:29

It seems a strange thing to be arguing about.

He's definitely wrong though.


scrivette Fri 09-Oct-20 23:20:53

I load and unload, no one else would be able to load it correctly although DS helps me with the cutlery sometimes.

I don't rinse anything except porridge bowls.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 09-Oct-20 23:23:11

- nobody rinses anything.
- everyone puts their own things in the dishwasher after they have used them, if we've eaten together the non-cooks clear the table and load the dishwasher.
- if it's full when you've put stuff in it you turn it on.
- teens used to empty it when they were younger, now they ignore it buy if they hear me start to empty it they generally come and help.

(Me, 14yo and 18yo)

PlanDeRaccordement Fri 09-Oct-20 23:28:02

We have no set rule like that.
Whoever is doing dishes and finally fills it, starts it running
Whoever wanders into the kitchen first when it’s finished, unloads it.

It can be same person or not doing both jobs. It just doesn’t matter to us. The dishwasher doesn’t run at same time of day or even every day, so there’s no real case even of me mostly doing it or DH mostly doing it.

I think it’s a bit odd to refuse to unload a dishwasher because you put last dish/cup in it and pushed the button to run it.

TheSmallAssassin Fri 09-Oct-20 23:28:45

You don't need to rinse dishes, and in fact you shouldn't as it wastes water.

In our house, everyone is supposed to put their own dishes in the dishwasher as they finish with them, but usually it ends up being one of us parents, whoever has the inclination. The kids are supposed to take turns to do the emptying, but given that we're working from home all day while they're at school one of us usually does it.

Because both of us do it as and when we have a mo or have got fed up of the pile of accumulating dishes it's not a big deal because we both feel the other pulls their weight. This is your problem, I suspect, there feels like a disparity.

GoogleWhacked Fri 09-Oct-20 23:29:23

Absolutely not - loading the dw is one job, emptying & putting away is another one. Two separate jobs, two separate people.
(supposed to be the kids, but usually not!)

EerilyDeleted Fri 09-Oct-20 23:33:55

I do the majority of meal planning, shopping and cooking, so DH has always been in charge of clearing up the kitchen in the evening, which includes putting the DW on. We're not totally rigid about this, DH and the DCs shop and cook sometimes and we all help a bit with the clearing up. The DCs (teenagers) take it in turns to empty the DW the next day, but again sometimes one of us will do it. I'd say it's rare in our house for the person who put it on to also empty it.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Fri 09-Oct-20 23:37:49

I load the dishwasher because I'm the only one who can do it properly.
Whoever opens the dishwasher to put something in and finds that it is full of clean stuff is the one who unloads it. If a child is near, they help. (DC are 9, 7 and 4)

PontiacBandit Fri 09-Oct-20 23:38:52

Everyone loads their own things in? Whoever notices it is full switches it on. Dh doesn't mind unloading but I insist that the DC unload it. They have their own system which works, the the youngest can't reach the cups and glasses but does the plates and bowls.

HeddaGarbled Fri 09-Oct-20 23:39:44

No, I don’t see any reason why it needs to be the same person.

PickAChew Fri 09-Oct-20 23:41:59

That's a bit weird, tbh. DH and i both load the dishwasher as we go. Sometimes, one of the boys puts something in, though it generally needs moving. DH mostly empties it as all the bending and stretching cripples me.

Applesandpears23 Fri 09-Oct-20 23:42:48

I regard emptying it and reloading it as one job. I usually do it twice in a day and if necessary the third time my partner has to do it.

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