If you have an overweight child

[Keepcalmandcarryon7]

What do you think the reason for them being overweight is? What have you tried or are hoping to try. I have a 12 year old son who is overweight. He has ASD, an anxiety disorder and displays signs of depression. We eat relatively healthy and cook home cooked meals. The problem is he never wants to do any physical activity and barely comes out of his room. His self perception of himself is that he is an average weight. His mental health is very fragile so I don't want to say things to him to make it worse. We have exercise equipment at home but he isn't interested. I have no idea how much he weighs but he has wears men's s/m.
Any tips?

[Spied]

I have an overweight 11yr old.
DC was small for his age and very petite until around age 7 when the weight gradually started piling on.
He is active in an average way, I'd say but as he's getting older he is displaying anxiety issues and I've noticed he does comfort eat.
I believe he has mild learning issues too which are becoming more apparent and feeding his anxieties.
I'm embarrassed to seek assessment as I worry I should have picked up on these issues before now. School have never picked up on anything or mentioned anything to me about his behaviour or schoolwork.
I think he's very good at hiding things but his weight is something that's glaringly obvious.
He's in age 14/15 clothes and is of average height.

[Spied]

Unfortunately we have used food in the past as a 'treat' and a reward.
I blame myself in this regard.

[TapingTheTop40]

My 12yo DD is not yet overweight but she’s bigger than all of her friends who are all really thin.

The issue is that she hates almost every healthy food there is!
Yet her brother will eat absolutely anything and is thin.
I have tried all sorts to get her to eat healthier options but she would literally rather starve 🙄

[AuditAngel]

My DS is now 16 and is fairly average sized, although his thighs are quite large. He has had a growth spurt which has put him back into regular fit clothes, although he spent about 3 years in plus fitting stuff.

DD2 is 9 and on the heavy side. She is a similar body shape to DS. She is much more active than DS is (usually). I just hope she doesn’t take 3 years to grow into her weight.

Conversely, DD1 is an athletic build, very active, muscular but slim. She misses meals if tired which I find incredulous. I am also overweight.

[MsEllany]

How close are those 11/12 year olds to puberty do you think?

I ask because I have two 11 year olds who are no where near close to puberty but are also not chunky at all. But I remember at about this age my brother put on some timber but he started to grow pretty quickly so wasn’t large for long.

Not saying it’s not something to worry about as I know I do, but if he’s plump but not enormous it’s something to consider