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Parenting a child with MH problems is just awful

(13 Posts)
DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld Mon 28-Sep-20 03:24:53

DD is 15 and tonight told me she doesnt want to be here anymore. This is after 3 years of MH difficulties. I rang the crisis number for CAMHS and they said take her to A&E and they would admit her to a ward but I've had wine. So she is asleep on the other sofa and I'm staying up all night watching her.

This is so hard. The hardest thing I've ever done

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Pixxie7 Mon 28-Sep-20 04:03:35

Complete empathy with you my daughter was slightly older than yours, but suicide attempt and self harming. I blamed myself but eventually realised that you can’t control their environment and only be there for them.
It is really hard and you will have periods of self doubt take each day as it comes.

eausolovely Mon 28-Sep-20 04:10:47

Sending you lots of love, you sound like a truly wonderful parent and I hope she recovers. When she does she will appreciate having such a wonderful mum who cared for her in her darkest times.

Sara2000 Mon 28-Sep-20 06:37:23

I am going to PM you. We are going through the

Ohalrightthen Mon 28-Sep-20 07:24:07


CormoranStrike Mon 28-Sep-20 07:26:41

Agreed - hardest thing I have ever gone through.

MillyMoo1113 Mon 28-Sep-20 07:29:55

I've been going through this for the last two years with my DD now 16. Unfortunately a trip to a and e doesn't guarantee an admission to a ward. Sitting up with her is probably the best thing for now, and do an urgent referral via gp to camhs in the morning if she's not already under them? There will be good days and bad days, make sure you get support for yourself as well as your DD.

Stompythedinosaur Mon 28-Sep-20 08:20:38

If she is telling you about her feelings that is positive.

I would be cautious about assuming she will be admitted to hospital, I would think that would be unlikely.

Good luck for today.

Igmum Mon 28-Sep-20 08:30:31

Sending hugs. Good luck today

Hoppinggreen Mon 28-Sep-20 08:34:16

Yes it’s bloody awful you have my full sympathy
CAHMS were no use at all but fortunately we have been able to pay for a private therapist. It took a few goes to find a therapist she liked and would work with but it seems we have now.

CormoranStrike Mon 28-Sep-20 09:05:00

I found a private counsellor was our best investment.

Lots of GP visits, lots of medication too.

DD is still prone to fits of depression but is better at managing it now.

A friend’s daughter made a serious suicide attempt, with police and ambulance crews finally finding her after hours of being missing - even that didn’t lead to a hospital admission, so a and e doesn’t always mean immediate help.

TheOrchidKiller Mon 28-Sep-20 09:23:56

I'm so sorry @DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld & anyone else going through this.

My eldest went through this too. It's horrible for them, & awful for parents too.

My advice is to take care of yourself as well as your DD-eat, sleep, talk to people (GP, friends etc. I even rang the Samaritans once, just to be able to let it all out to a stranger). If there's another responsible adult who can sit with your DD for a bit so you can go out for a walk, that can help- you need space too.

Most impprtantly, do not blame yourself.

We are coming out the other side.

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld Mon 28-Sep-20 09:55:47

Thank you all I totally couldn't find this thread in my sleep deprived haze so started another one on Relationships. Isnt it just awful? I feel so powerless and angry. I am so so tired and I had to call in sick which fills me with anxiety.

She has been assessed and is waiting for specialist support from CAMHS but I've been told the waiting list is ridiculous. I might have a look for a private counsellor but my ex is an absolute twunt and has cancelled my maintenance so finances are ridiculously tight.

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