If the subjects of songs posted on MN...

[JimmyJabs]

Just a bit of fun, I hope, but I heard this song the other day and found myself wondering what advice the singer would get if she posted in Relationships. Guess the song, give your advice, and post one of your own!

"I've been with my DP for a while, he's the only one for me, and I thought we were happy, but recently this woman has moved to our town and it's caused a lot of problems for us.

Basically, she's absolutely stunning and my DP has become completely obsessed with her. Physically, she looks nothing like me (she had auburn hair and green eyes, I'm blond with blue eyes) and I don't feel like I can compete with her. He's even taken to calling her name in his sleep, which obviously makes me feel like shit.

This woman could probably have any man she wanted, but I don't feel like I could ever love anyone like my DP. The other day, I went to see her and basically begged her not to take him from me - I admit I came on a bit heavy, I ended up telling her that my happiness depended on her. I don't even know if she's interested in my DP and now I'm just waiting to see what she decides to do..."

I very much hope we would all advise her to LTB and maybe go out and do shots with the auburn haired temptress, who sounds like a lot of fun.

[TinyMetalBirds]

That would be “that little hussy, Jolene”, although no doubt 1000 people will post that as I write this!
“I am obsessed with a man. He has a temper, but my jealousy is just as bad. I hate him, but I love him too. How could he leave me, when I need him so? Also, I am dead. AIBU to think he should let me into his house? Maybe through the window?”

[TinyMetalBirds]

Oh sorry I failed with the advice! Don’t do the pick me dance, Dolly. Just LTB

[briebuiltthiscity]

If Jolene wants him - let her have him. But I do think you have some self esteem issues - so work on that.

DH has totally checked out of family life. He stays out drinking and sees more of his mates down the pub than he does if the kids. I work on the tills at Tesco. He’s absolutely obsessed with his vehicle as it’s very nippy. Should I tell him to sling his hook?

[JimmyJabs]

@TinyMetalBirds

That would be “that little hussy, Jolene”, although no doubt 1000 people will post that as I write this!
“I am obsessed with a man. He has a temper, but my jealousy is just as bad. I hate him, but I love him too. How could he leave me, when I need him so? Also, I am dead. AIBU to think he should let me into his house? Maybe through the window?”

Your relationship is toxic, notwithstanding the fact that you're both dead. You both need to do the Freedom Programme before you get yourself into any other post mortem relationships. Think of poor Edgar.

[JimmyJabs]

@briebuiltthiscity

If Jolene wants him - let her have him. But I do think you have some self esteem issues - so work on that.

DH has totally checked out of family life. He stays out drinking and sees more of his mates down the pub than he does if the kids. I work on the tills at Tesco. He’s absolutely obsessed with his vehicle as it’s very nippy. Should I tell him to sling his hook?

I feel like I almost know this, but I can't bring the song title to mind. Anyway, LTB. What are you even getting out of this relationship now? Does he have a solid gold dick?

[briebuiltthiscity]

@JimmyJabs no but he does has a fast car 😊.