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Miscarriage can anybody help me please?

(30 Posts)
SleepDeprived2018 Fri 25-Sep-20 17:59:01

Supposed to be just over 9 weeks pregnant - i just paid for a private scan they said baby must of stopped growing around 6 weeks (6wks4) they didnt tell me what to do or who to call next. Can anybody help please? They just rushed us out for the next couple. Ive had no pain no bleeding still having normal symptoms. Dont know what i do next. Cant breathe for crying.

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RedPandaFluff Fri 25-Sep-20 18:06:34

So sorry to read this, @SleepDeprived2018 - what a horrible experience. Can you phone your nearest EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) and get some advice from them?

Lollyneenah Fri 25-Sep-20 18:18:00

I'm so sorry for you, it's an awful experience to go through. You need to call your local EPU, explain what has happened and go in and see them. They'll be able to do an internal scan and check for themselves, and talk you through what happens next.
Be kind to yourself OP, remember to eat and come here to talk if you're struggling.

Literaryseed Fri 25-Sep-20 18:19:20

I'm sorry you're going through this. Have a look online for your nearest EPU. They will want to scan you themselves (in my experience they don't accept the scans done by private clinics) and take blood tests to confirm.

showmethegin Fri 25-Sep-20 18:43:46

I'm so sorry OP. As a PP has said, contact EPU, they will want to scan as they are not able to consider private scan results. thanks

SleepDeprived2018 Fri 25-Sep-20 19:28:14

Thank you all for replying. I rang epu as you all said. They were closed but spoke to a really nice gynae nurse and she told me to call in the morning and they will scan an discuss options. Heatrtbroken that my husband cant come with me. Can anyone tell me more about what some of the options are? Dont feel ill be able to take it in without him x

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Littlepaws18 Fri 25-Sep-20 20:10:12

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss. I have had three miscarriages this year and all the three options you will be given. 1. Pills, this starts your miscarriage and you will then be sent home. It may take a short while to happen. 2. Let it happen naturally, this can take a little while but I had one at 6 weeks and it was manageable in terms of pain. 3. Surgical, this happened to me before lockdown so I don't know if the rules have changed but I was in pretty much all day, I opted for a general anaesthetic, it took about 20. Mins and was over relatively quickly. It was painful for a while but over in a day. Personally I found the surgery the easiest, but the natural way was also fine (but that was during lockdown and I was at home). I found the pills very painful. I hope this helps, so sorry for your loss. X

Also on my last miscarriage, my baby was not measuring to the week I thought it should be, as it was early they said I had to be rescanned in two weeks just to double check. Be prepared this could be an option.

showmethegin Fri 25-Sep-20 20:10:17

Hello OP. I've sadly had 2 miscarriages during lockdown so I understand completely how you must feel doing it without your husband. My first I was 6 weeks and it happened naturally so I didn't have to go to hospital. My second I was 12 weeks so I went in to be scanned then had to go back two days later as they took my blood at both appointments to compare them and ensure my HcG levels were reducing. Even though I knew I had already miscarried.

I was given the choice of surgical under local or having medical management, where they insert the tablets and then you go home. I chose medical so I could be at home, in a comfortable place with my DP. They may also give you the option of waiting to see what happens. Everyone is different, just do what feels comfortable for you.

For what it's worth, the midwives were so understanding of how difficult it was without my partner and were so so kind and compassionate. They also let me call DP on speaker so he could hear what they were saying which helped as I didn't have to repeat everything.

Again OP, I'm so sorry this has happened, my heart goes out to you. thanks Please feel free to post or not post as much as you like on here, I'll keep checking back to give you support if you need it

showmethegin Sat 26-Sep-20 15:13:48

Hi OP, thinking of you

Ilovechoc12 Sat 26-Sep-20 15:37:55


Sorry it’s hard breaking .
Do you have private insurance you can book in a op within hrs / max 2 days in UK

Depends what you want to do !

1. Leave your body to naturally try to MC for at least a week and then assess if nothing happens
2. Pills - and then MC can happen at home
3. Op - all hospital based

Personally after 8mc - I find pills the easiest . I’m not good with generals and a hospital setting - prefer it at home in my own comfort

You have to decide what’s best for you and where you feel best

Not to give you false hope but are you sure with your dates ? The hospital might want to take a blood test and then wait 2 more days to check your levels then they can know for sure ....

Be easy on yourself


gypsywater Sat 26-Sep-20 15:42:31

That's poor, policy is to refer you to your local EPU. If they didnt do this, you will need to call the EPU yourself and they will get you in for their own scan. I'm going through this too. Meant to be 10 weeks today sad Had private scan Weds, EPU scan yesterday, back next Fri for follow up scan (as per NHS policy) and to discuss whether to have medical or surgical management. It is devastating. I'm sorry for your loss flowers

SleepDeprived2018 Sat 26-Sep-20 15:42:46

Thank you all very much for your replies and helpful advice i really appreciate it!

I’m really sorry for all of your losses too!

Hi @showmethegin thanks for checking in thats really kind of you. I called the unit this morn as advised by the nurse last night the woman told me ‘well you can wait untill monday if you have no bleeding’
I feel strange today tearful at anything and everything and dont want to talk to any family or friends (only a select few seen) went for a walk with my husband and we seen a family member so went 20 mins out of our way to avoid them just cant face it x

How are you doing now @showmethegin ? This will be my second in lockdown altho last time i never had to tell anyone but my husband- we were 6 wks i hadnt yet called the midwife or gp and i just started heavy bleeding. The month before that i tested the two days before my period and got two positive pregnancy tests but then I came on my period so i dont know if that counts? Feel really uneducated on any of this x

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SleepDeprived2018 Sat 26-Sep-20 15:43:53

* only a select few knew*

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SleepDeprived2018 Sat 26-Sep-20 15:49:32

So sorry for your losses @Ilovechoc12 flowers
I think i would pick the pill from what you have said. Is it painful?
Yes absolutely sure on my dates 100% x

@gypsywater i am so sorry you are going through this flowers
I really hope they dont makenme wait that long - im supposed to be over 9 wks an baby was measuring just over six weeks dont know if that will change anything. I couldnt go to work and just wait to know its so hard x

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cretelover Sat 26-Sep-20 16:02:58

Just want to say thinking of you and so sorry. It's awful. We are here for you xx

Ilovechoc12 Sat 26-Sep-20 16:15:51

For me it’s a build up of 2 hrs of cramps after the pills inserted (strong period pain so not mega but every now and again) where you can use a hot water bottle , feeling a bit sick then the process starts I’d say it’s lasts 2/3 hrs where you in the toilet (backwards and forwards and watch tv in between - you can tell when you need to be in the loo) with quite strong cramps. just feel a sense of relief everything is over - and I usually have a glass of wine, box of chocolate and a box of tissues ! No more cramps all finished as such .

Aside but tell your doc if you are in UK then it’s on your records if you ever need testing (hope you don’t! ) it was 3 mc before any reoccurring Mc testing (hope you don’t need it ! )

Sorry for your loss x

showmethegin Sun 27-Sep-20 15:35:15

Oh OP. We have a very similar story I think, I had a very early positive last year then came on my period, sometimes they call it a chemical. In our case it has meant that our latest miscarriage takes us to 3 in total and we are now getting care at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. Make sure you tell your doctor about that if that is a path you feel you may want to take. There is no need to make any decisions yet.

I'm ok, have really good, hopeful days then some days when I feel quite low. I phoned the miscarriage association helpline last week and the lady on the phone was lovely; so reassuring and it felt good to talk to someone who really understood.

As a PP explained the process of medical management I won't say anything more on that except to say my experience was similar. I found real comfort from being at home and being able to crawl into bed with a hot water bottle, nice TV and DP. thanks

SleepDeprived2018 Wed 30-Sep-20 09:29:09

Hey all how are you all doing?

Went to hosp on Monday consultant was really lovely did the scan explained everything and took us straight to the ward for treatment - it happened very much as described above but still felt unprepared for it somehow.

Dr said she doesnt feel we need testing yet as we do have a little girl she thinks it’s unlikely theres an underlying problem its just a horrible coincidence that this has happened a few times. She said she will however look after us if we fall pregnant again and will put me on various medications but i was a bit too upset to take that in.

Still feel really teary and ive never felt this anxious. Dr signed me off work for two weeks and i feel so nervous about going back and just being around people in general x

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showmethegin Wed 30-Sep-20 11:00:55

Hi OP. Yes it feels impossible to be prepared for it, even though the process is explained it still feels like a shock doesn't it.

I understand how you feel about the anxiety. Please please make sure you take all the time off from work that you need, even if you need more than 2 weeks. Don't feel bad if you need more time. It's really normal to feel worried about being around people, it really knocked my confidence. There is no need to make any decisions about going back yet, just take each day as it comes.

Also, physically take it easy. I kept feeling a bit better and 'helping out' (were in the middle of a house renovation) and it really set my recovery back, kept getting stomach cramps when I did too much. So please put your feet up and be kind to yourself xx

Thinking of you.

SleepDeprived2018 Wed 30-Sep-20 11:27:38

@showmethegin i cant thank you enough for your kindness chatting to me you have been honestly so helpful i really appreciate it! X

Usually i would chat to my sis but she is pregnant and we were really excited about being due around the same time - i don't want them to have to worry about me when they have had a really tough journey to get to this point so its nice to have someone to talk to!

Yes i did try to do more yesterday and really regretted it so its a day on the sofa today!

Thanks for explaining that the feeling anxious is normal - felt like it was just swallowing me up yesterday


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showmethegin Wed 30-Sep-20 19:38:17

Aw poppet, that's really kind! My heart just goes out to you, feels like 5 mins ago I was in the same situation and although I have a supportive partner and family, unless you've gone through it you just don't get it. (That's no insult it's just the way it is).

That must be hard for you with your sister being pregnant but I'm sure they would want to help you if they knew you needed it. My boss is two weeks ahead of where I would have been, managing her diary with all her bloody appointments has really knocked me for six and feel it has set me back a bit as it's impossible to escape.

Yeah anxiety is totally normal. I had a bit of a delayed reaction to it, I think I was just running on adrenaline (I had to have management after I thought it was all over as I woke up in the middle of the night bleeding a scary amount and had to go to A+E).

I mentioned before but I highly recommend the miscarriage helpline. I built myself up so much to call but glad I did. They were so reassuring and made me realise that all my feelings are acceptable and normal! It isn't till it happens to you that you realise how many women go through this but no one talks about it! Xx

showmethegin Thu 01-Oct-20 20:35:31

Hope you're ok today OP thanks

SleepDeprived2018 Fri 02-Oct-20 07:48:27

Hey @showmethegin how are you?
Not great have been up all night with whats sort of like trapped wind pain x10 but its not trapped wind at all - did you get anything like that after? Maybe its totally unrelated i dont know

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showmethegin Fri 02-Oct-20 19:51:37

I had quite strong low abdominal period type pains for a couple of weeks on and off. I also had a really sore lower back. Sounds quite normal to me but if in doubt give the EPU a call, I called them a few times to check whether this or that was right! X

SleepDeprived2018 Sat 03-Oct-20 18:56:26

Hey @showmethegin how are you doing?

Is it normal that ive just passed a really big clot? Obviously had that a lot on monday an then just smaller ones since but is that normal 5 days later? X

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