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Today I properly lost my temper and feel shitty about it

(144 Posts)
Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:01:38

My sons 16, autistic, was playing footy in park with my other 2 teen kids,

Same age kid lays into him verbally - mocking him, squaring up to him - my autistic son starts getting distressed

This has been going on for ages

I've never been there

I've taught my kids to say nothing. Walk away. They do this.

Except I was walking nearby today.

Saw it myself.

Literally saw red.

I can't explain it but I marched over. Said to my guys to walk back home please.

Asked to have a word.

Called the kid a prick and told him if he ever fucking started on my son again, I'd make known his relentless bullying behaviour to his parents - that plus his recent drug taking habit (common knowledge where we live). I was fuming.

But he's only 16 (nearly 17).

I feel terrible.

I don't know what happened.

I literally saw red.

I'm ashamed of myself. I really bollocked him.

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Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:03:09

I must add, I've never shouted like I bollocked this kid today.

I think I've given myself a shock.

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TableDesk Sun 20-Sep-20 20:03:23

Meh - good on you I say! Will do the bully no harm.

Hope yous are all OK

Aquamarine1029 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:04:33

Good for you. The miserable prick deserved it.

Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:05:03

I can't get over that mousey me had that in me, I think that's what has shocked me.

He totally didn't care.

But it's hardly good behaviour on my part.

I'm disappointed in myself.

OP’s posts: |
Luckingfovely Sun 20-Sep-20 20:06:08

Sounds like - while we all know it wasn't the ideal response - he had it coming, and maybe it'll knock some sense into him. Stop beating yourself up, it's done, and for the right reasons. And ignore all the fuming coming from perfect MN people wink

Notthecarwashagain Sun 20-Sep-20 20:07:16

I think you sounded very restrained. You sent your DC off safely out the way. How many parents could just watch and say nothing, really?

I'm sorry your DS is having to put up with him.

Thatusernamewastaken Sun 20-Sep-20 20:07:28

Nah. 16 year old and a bully (and a bully of someone with autism to boot). Someone needed to do it. Maybe you’ve done him a favour.
A 16 year old isn’t exactly a clueless, innocent child.

Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:07:35

My autistic son and siblings did go back and finish their football game though - without any further hassle.

Me on the other hand. I feel like I need a stiff drink.

I've never seen red like that. Nor been so clear with someone about what their boundaries are to be.

I don't feel clever though. I feel sick at myself. But I understand why I did it.

Complex feelings over this one!

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madcatladyforever Sun 20-Sep-20 20:08:02

Good, I'd have done the same. Little shit.

corlan Sun 20-Sep-20 20:08:50

We all have our breaking points, especially when our children are being hurt. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you think his parents would give a damn, you should tell them what he's been up to. That will probably have more impact on him.

ginandgingers92 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:08:51

It's amazing what our fierce need to protect our children can lead us to do. I second PPs- good on you, don't feel guilty. 16 or not, he sounds like he deserved it. 👌🏼

Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:08:52

I've just never lost my restraint like that. Or swore so publicly! Ever.

I've given myself a fright!

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musicalfrog Sun 20-Sep-20 20:10:33

I hope that you will get over your current feelings and start to feel proud of yourself soon. flowers

Notthecarwashagain Sun 20-Sep-20 20:10:46

And actually, mocking and squaring up to someone with autism could be classed as a hate crime.
Please stop beating yourself up! You're not the one in the wrong here.

Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:10:54

Ok, I'll cut myself some slack.

Motherly protective instinct. A fierce thing me thinks!

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Marlena1 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:11:28

Why on earth would you be ashamed?? He's practically an adult picking on someone autistic. Maybe it'll make him think twice next time. You'd probably feel worse if you'd walked away.

thesquirrelsnuts Sun 20-Sep-20 20:11:44

Good for you for standing up for your child. If the bully is 16 they are old enough to join the army and get yelled at properly, they are not a little child.

Sunnydaysstillhere Sun 20-Sep-20 20:11:48

I confronted a teenage girl who threatened to slaughter my pre teen dd. Police had been told but hadn't done anything.. Told her if she didn't like dd fair enough but she wasn't to be anywhere near her... No need - different schools and 2 years+ apart. Dd days the girl now crosses the road if she sees dd. Def no regrets.
She did cry when I spoke to her but maybe now knows how it feels to be bullied.

pasteldechocolateconchispa Sun 20-Sep-20 20:12:39

Do you think that arsehole feels like this for making your son feel distressed? No he does not do you shouldn’t waste another second of your time feeling like this over someone who thinks it’s ok to pick on other people.

Fuck him he deserved it, for good measure I’d tell his parents about his drug habits as well

formerbabe Sun 20-Sep-20 20:13:47

Good for you. They're not tiny children, they're teenagers. Its not a bad lesson to learn...act like a prick, get called one. It must be unbearable to see people be cruel to your child. flowers

Iwonder777 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:14:32

You're making me feel better - and a bit less shocked at myself.

Thanks all

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Nquartz Sun 20-Sep-20 20:14:37


Good, I'd have done the same. Little shit.

Me too! The instinct to protect your kids is strong.

Sounds like he is a prick & he deserved it

Sexnotgender Sun 20-Sep-20 20:15:45

You did nothing wrong, hope it gives the little shit pause next time he bullies someone.

MushMonster Sun 20-Sep-20 20:16:27

Well if it is known that he has taken to drugs why haven't you told the parents yet? And same for his bullying behaviour. He is still a child under his parents care. If they are not told, they are missing the chance to correct it.
I tell my lot to do what you have done yourself if the offender is repetitive or crosses the line. They have to stand up for themselves or they get treated like muck.
I would not loose any sleep about it. Hopefully this kid stays away from yours.

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