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I can never leave my house again

(148 Posts)
mylittleyumyum Wed 16-Sep-20 01:34:11

Nor can I sleep. Was woken by noises coming from my back garden. Lay in silence straining to hear. Heard a throat being cleared. Definitely someone out there. I swung my legs out of bed, flicked on the security light while simultaneously pulling up my blind. Except it was the switch for my lamp. I stood naked, confused and blinking for a minute peering uselessly at my own reflection, saw movement in next doors garden, then heard my neighbour (male) saying "fucking hell" and sliding his door open to go back inside.
I've been lying here sweating and mortified for 40 minutes. Shit. They are lovely neighbours. Fuck.

OP’s posts: |
Porridgeoat Wed 16-Sep-20 05:21:46

Pretend like it never happened. If anything’s mentioned have no recollection and claim you sleep walk

user165423256322 Wed 16-Sep-20 05:24:58

So you are just a weirdo, rather than a flasher.

grin Gotta focus on the positives.

PhilCornwall1 Wed 16-Sep-20 05:27:41

* Amazing. You can front this one out.*

I think the OP has already done that!! 🤣

Iamtooknackeredtorun Wed 16-Sep-20 06:01:23

Was the 'fucking hell' said in a shocked way or more of a phwoar? grin

dublingirl66 Wed 16-Sep-20 06:06:34

Oh god poor you xxx

yecannyshoveyergranny Wed 16-Sep-20 06:10:04

I'm sure you've got nice boobs op grin

yecannyshoveyergranny Wed 16-Sep-20 06:12:30

Iamtooknackeredtorun

Was the 'fucking hell' said in a shocked way or more of a phwoar? grin


I reckon it was a head nodding 'fucking hell!' and then when he got inside 'phoar alright' with a low whistle.

LadyH846 Wed 16-Sep-20 06:17:10

Haha. Hilarious. Personally I would apologise for flashing him and say that you were disoriented and turned on the wrong light. I'd laugh about it.

tillytown Wed 16-Sep-20 06:23:10

Amazing grin

Timetochoose123 Wed 16-Sep-20 06:28:15

Ha ha ha... this cheered me up. Sorry you had to go through it though! I think you could hit it straight on and say "sorry for unintentionally flashing you the other night, I heard a noise and turned on the wrong light when I went to investigate!" At this way it's knocked on the head. Oh dear you poor thing though... you prob made his day 😂

pussycatinboots Wed 16-Sep-20 06:29:02

Look on the bright side, at least he didn't point and laugh.🤷🏻‍♀️

Tomatoesneedtoripen Wed 16-Sep-20 06:41:53

ha ha

Jaxinthebox Wed 16-Sep-20 07:07:25

oh this has made my Wednesday morning better! Front it out, explain nothing, I mean you could have been sleep walking... and you wouldnt know you had done it.

Yeah, sleep walking is what you do! grin

Toilenstripes Wed 16-Sep-20 07:31:50

TitsOutForHarambe

It never happened. If you hear from anyone that it happened you can inform them that they are mistaken. The neighbour is lying. It never happened.

This in spades! 😂

PhilCornwall1 Wed 16-Sep-20 07:39:25

Jaxinthebox

oh this has made my Wednesday morning better! Front it out, explain nothing, I mean you could have been sleep walking... and you wouldnt know you had done it.

Yeah, sleep walking is what you do! grin


He may ask if you knock on neighbours doors in your sleep (keeping his fingers crossed you do). 🤔

buggeroffvirus Wed 16-Sep-20 07:41:04

You have made my day x

Frownette Wed 16-Sep-20 07:56:25

AlCalavicci

Oh god grief, you can do two things continue to walk around the house naked and tell him you are practicing to become a naturalist. Or run for the hills without a single backwards glance .
🤣🤣🤣

Oh good grief, someone I barely know suddenly said she was a naturalist about maybe 1.5 months ago. In the middle of normal conversation. I wasn't expecting that and said "ah, ok then". I've got no idea what she was expecting me to say but I'd rather talk about the weather or something!

OP just brazen it out! Sounds like a lot of people have had this experience. The horror will fade in time.

Walkaround Wed 16-Sep-20 08:04:55

😂 I reckon he thought you did it deliberately!

bouncydog Wed 16-Sep-20 08:05:00

Was he actually wearing anything - could be he was embarrassed you saw him 🤣🤣

Kernowgal Wed 16-Sep-20 08:05:12

This is brilliant, I too would be mortified.

I think a few folks might be confusing naturalists (those interested in the natural world, wildlife etc) with naturists (nudists) though.

PhilCornwall1 Wed 16-Sep-20 08:05:30

* you can do two things continue to walk around the house naked and tell him you are practicing to become a naturalist.*

Errr, naturalists don't go round with their kit off? Think David Attenborough, Chris Packham.

Mind you, it could be a whole new TV experience, Attenborough flapping it around with the Penguins.

Livelovebehappy Wed 16-Sep-20 08:12:31

Reminds me of a friend who was disturbed by noise downstairs in the dead of night. She was alone, got out of bed and switched on the landing light. She stood at the top of the stairs and saw a figure at the bottom who couldn’t get out the front door quick enough. It was an attempted burglary, but she swears that the sight of her stood at the top of the stairs, naked (as that’s how she sleeps) scared him off into the night. So there you go ladies, you don’t need a Base ball bat, just stand there with your wobbly bits on display!

loobyloo1234 Wed 16-Sep-20 08:15:59

Haha I love that all he said was 'fucking hell' before disappearing. When you see him next mutter the same thing cheerily and wave like nothing happened smile

Lovemusic33 Wed 16-Sep-20 08:17:24

🤣🤣 laugh it off, I’m sure my neighbours probably seen me naked (rubbish at remembering to shut the curtains).

Then there was the milk man....
Was the early hours of the morning when I heard the dreaded sound of the cat about to throw up, I grabbed the cat and ran down the stairs, opened the front door, placed the cat outside......looked up to see the milk man...I was totally naked, half asleep and it didn’t really register until the morning 🤣

eaglejulesk Wed 16-Sep-20 08:23:47

Oh OP, I'm so sorry but that's the funniest thing I've heard today.

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