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Overthinking / Rumination - how do you know if you do it?

(16 Posts)
Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 07:45:50

How do you know that you do it?
Im wondering if Ive been overthinking things and that is further causing problems....

Is the fact im thinking that i may be overthinking, overthinking in itself LOL

And whats the difference between overthinking / rumination and simply processing information / events etc??

The reason Im asking is before I go down the rabbit hole of attemting to stop myself ruminating or overthinking =, I want to make sure I am doing it.....otherwise i maybe causing myself more problems LOL

How mad does all that sound. Cant believe Im even asking.

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Flamingolingo Mon 14-Sep-20 07:47:48

Hard without an example but I’m the kind of highly analytical person who overthinks quite often. I don’t really do anything about it other than be aware that it’s something I do. Most of the time it’s fine, it’s a bit less fine when it involves anxiety about social interactions either past or coming.

SwanShaped Mon 14-Sep-20 07:50:14

I think your post indicates that you’re over thinking. I’ve just started a podcast recommended on here about obsessive thinking. It’d called reply all; the case of the missing hit.

Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 08:33:05

Flamingo Im an analytical thinker too and a planner.
Last year I had:
- a 14 year relationship end
- at the same time I was working on a house (id taken it back to the brick and its taken so much energy, money and time
- My two sons are 18 and 20 and last year the eldest went to uni and this year my youngest moves this week
- Late last year i started a relationship with a lovely man who has 3 children and shares parenting 50/50. Kids 7, 10 and 13. There were a few road bumps from his ex who found it hard another woman coming into her childrens lives, which i understand. Im slowly getting used to coming into the life of 3 younger children again (I say that only in a positive way. Im a childrens nurse I love being around and kids but I havent gotten used to quiet times lol)

Recently Ive gone in my shell and work is hard....work is like wading through mud. Weve had covid which has meant work has been an adaptive time lol. And tiring (lots of people going off sick now, were all burned out).

My brain feels like its on constant overdrive, problem solving and planning things and having concerns about things in the present, furture and past also. Despite me trying to cover all bases, I seem to be making myself worse....getting more upset, more worried.

So I dont know if my thinking has been processing things and planning things or I have inadvertently been ruminating and overthinking.

If I have just been ruminating and overthinking things then I feel relieved I dont have to do all the problem solving thats going on.

However if the situation is that at the moment Im at natural transition stages (kids leaving home) and how busy work has been. I dont want to stop problem solving and processing....because thats normal isnt it?? i.e thinkin about whats next for me, problem solving how things more efficient at work etc

I sound barking mad lol But this really all going on in my head. I seem to have attached....deep meaning to everything lol

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Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 08:37:37

And Im reflecting alot on things.

Is all this normal or do I need to give myself a shake, deep breath and distract my brain from itself?

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Frownette Mon 14-Sep-20 08:37:41

It's tricky to say, sometimes it helps with processing but at other times it can dominate and stop you getting on with things.

Sounds like you have had an awful lot going on though and need some clear space.

Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 08:46:58

Frownette thank you...thats interesting, that makes sense

would you say the difference is then, that its okay to process and reflect as long as a person is able to get on with things?
and if a person is withdrawing and not getting on with things then its likely overthinking as become a problem?

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Frownette Mon 14-Sep-20 08:56:41

Just from personal opinion if it's distracting you from day to day life then it's time to step away slightly.

So if your brain is doing a whirlwind and that is stopping you from doing a task you need to abandon the thought process and get on with other things.

Seems like you have a lot of positive things though, like lovely new partner and two sons to be proud of.

What do you do for yourself to make you happy?

Flamingolingo Mon 14-Sep-20 09:36:00

It sounds like there is quite a lot going on. Overthinking about the future is something I can and do struggle with at times. Building projects especially, trying to visualise how it all goes together.

I wonder if some talking therapy might be useful for you? To create a space to address this? I find that if I catch myself overthinking I’m often able to recognise this and move on. But if you’re stuck you might need help.

Overthinking in and of itself is not necessarily a negative thing, indeed it can have many benefits. But when it becomes intrusive then help is a good idea.

Flamingolingo Mon 14-Sep-20 09:40:54

I also think change is harder when you’re the one being ‘left behind’ (rather than the one going off to do something new and exciting). So maybe that’s partly it for some of those things listed

Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 09:41:22

Thanks Frownette..
To make me happy, i suppose its spending time with my lads....theyre ace.
My DP....
Cuddles from his girls and i get to be a daft kid again
Have two dogs that love to cuddle
Started Tae kwondo yesterday
Have snowboarding learning day booked for Oct with DP.
Love gardening...and im very slowlllyy in the process of doing it. Need to sort turf out next.

So im trying things....even looking at uni again. Lots of positives.

I cant bare work at the moment....love my job but....the more people go off sick...the harder it is. Ive got nothing to give and simple tasks are like trying to do a povolt without a povolt stick lol

Money is tight...i normally work 6 days but dropped to 5 when covid hit...doing more was too stressful...now i cant bare the idea of doing 5 let alone 6. Im remortgaging to encompass a loan used on the house DIY. So that takes some pressure off.

The upset caused by DPs ex was very stressful....trying to get the balance right with getting to know his kids...was thrown out but thats sorting itself. Coming from a house were im the best mum to a house were im not required, needed or sometimes wanted is an interesting experience. Bends my mind

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eddiemairswife Mon 14-Sep-20 09:47:18

My first thought was cows chewing the cud, so I had to check that.

Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 09:56:16

Flamimgo thank you...
Im with you on the visualising and project future....
My brain is on overdrive with it...
I have no idea what i want to do...
I have done the kids (my own) done the marriage, done the career....done the house...sick of doing up the house....

I want to be useful and have a purpose but i have no idea what next.

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Wheelyyyy Mon 14-Sep-20 09:57:25

Swan thankyou ill take a look at the podcast

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Frownette Mon 14-Sep-20 10:06:24

You're doing well though. Sounds like you need time and space to reflect.

You're starting new things, you're important and valuable, it might take a little while to come back down to earth. I don't know if it helps you writing things down.

I've got a counsellor at the moment, she's trying to teach me techniques like breathing and mindfulness if I get stressed out. It might be worth looking into services in your area as the government pumped a lot of money into counselling during lockdown so my particular one is free for the time being.

And although it sounds trite just getting a food you enjoy or relaxing with music/tv/bath/walk helps at least in the short term.

Emeeno1 Mon 14-Sep-20 10:06:44

Everyone overthinks, everyone ruminates. They are natural parts of how our minds process and reflect upon information. It becomes a problem when we can't allow the process to finish, for example your mind repeatedly thinks through the same thought over and over again, just like a broken record or the over-thinking becomes distressing because we can't move on from it.

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