Missed miscarriage - what do I need to know?

[Mizzler]

Just that really. I had a scan today and the baby died a couple of weeks ago at around 8 weeks. I've had no cramping or bleeding.

Could someone please let me know what to expect in the next week or so? Thanks.

[CrumpetandSausage]

Have you been offered a d&c/medical management. I had similar missed miscarriage and let nature take its course and it was very painful and a lot of blood. Having had no experience of childbirth then the pain and blood was more than I expected. I would definitely suggest a d&c under anesthetic if you can. I ended up having one 6 weeks later to clean out the bits that didn’t come out.

[rosegoldwatcher]

I am so sorry @Mizzler.

My experience was decades ago, but, like you, at the 12 week scan it was discovered that my first baby died at 8 weeks.
I had a D&C under a general anaesthetic. No physical pain.
Be prepared for grief.

[Mizzler]

Thank you both. Yes, the grief has hit me like a ton of bricks.

[crosser62]

Do you have an appointment for follow up to explore your options?
Medical or surgical.
You could wait for nature to take its course but this is fraught with issues that will only serve to prolong the torture of the situation.

Surgical is fast, you are asleep, in & out within 20-30 minutes all told and it’s over.
Medical is tablets, painful, bleeding, again, adds to the distress.

All the best with this, it’s horrible.

[SingingWaffleDoggy]

Lots of hugs to you. I’ve recently been through this. Took medical management option first, it wasn’t as horrible for me as for some I’ve read. I had period pain level cramping and lots of clots and bleeding. Also, it was mostly over by that evening. However, following a positive test a fortnight later went back for a scan to find it hadn’t all passed so went in for a ERPC under a general anaesthetic which was quick and pain free (although this needs to be weighed up with the possible complications of any general anaesthetic.).
Whatever route you choose be prepared for the grief and the mood fluctuations from hormone changes as it can hit you like a ton of bricks. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally.

[OhSoLost]

Hugs to you OP. I remember mine like it was yesterday (5 years ago) but I started bleeding which was the giveaway. Went to get a scan and the sac was there but with no sign of a baby inside. I was meant to be about 8 weeks by then as well.

In my case they offered me a D&C procedure or for me to just wait it out and let things happen naturally. I was in denial and wanted to see if they could be wrong...to see if baby would grow. So I opted for the natural way.

In hindsight I think it was a mistake. Lots of heavy bleeding for several days, painful cramping, much worse than period pain, more like a contraction every time I passed large amounts of tissue on the toilet which was very unpleasant, and which eventually led to me passing out the sac - very large, felt it come out over the toilet one day, and still had loads of bleeding and cramps for days afterwards.

The grief was unbearable alongside the pain. I cried for so many days that I lost my voice. I was meant to do a presentation at work but they were very understanding and I took a good two weeks off while this was all going on. I don’t think it was enough but there you go. I think it was the fact that letting it all happen naturally prolonged the whole thing and I just wanted it over with eventually. You’ll know best how you feel. I had one healthy child already and after the mc I had two more healthy children. So don’t worry about anything long term and hopefully once this is over you will feel fine again. For me it was a matter of weeks until I felt much better again, but perhaps with D&C it’s all a lot quicker and easier. Wishing you all the best OP

[MoMof4xx]

hi,
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
I should be 8 weeks 1 day pregant today but following a small pink bleed on Thursday, I was asked to come in for a scan on Friday.
I was scanned and they told me the pregnancy wasn't viable, no heartbeat detected and baby measuring 2mm.
Since Thursday all I've had is pink and brown blood but only when i wipe. Today though I had a tiny red stringy bit of blood.
They're scanning me again on Saturday before discussing options.
Its devastating. I still have all symptoms. Missed miscarriages are so cruel :,(

[Eledamorena]

@Mizzler I'm sorry for your loss. I second @CrumpetandSausage's suggestion that you request a D&C. I know some people prefer to avoid this (my sister did, following what I felt was very poor advice) but I can't imagine anything worse than letting nature take its course in this sort of situation, when the medical alternative is so simple.

I had to really argue to get one, I kept being pushed down the list, going on nil by mouth in case a slot became available and then being told late each afternoon it wouldn't happen today. Eventually I started passing naturally and then I was worried they would tell me I'd started now so should just let it happen. I did get the D&C in the end but it was actually more traumatic for me physically than mentally due to the delays. I couldn't have just done it at home.

[Eledamorena]

I should add that the healthcare assistant (I don't know the correct title - someone just junior to a nurse) was amazing but the doctor not great.

I felt very relieved to have this lovely lady looking after me.

[Mizzler]

Thank you so much everyone for telling me your experiences and giving advice. I'm going to get the ball rolling with EPU today.

I think my preference would be surgical management but the Miscarriage Association seems to say that a lot of trusts aren't offering that as an option at the moment because of Covid. I'll have to see what happens.

Thank you all once again, and I'm sorry for all of your losses.