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Friends ageless skin makes me sad about my own wrinkles

(19 Posts)
purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 17:58:08

Met my lovely friend outside for a walk and a coffee this afternoon. I've not seen her since the start of lockdown as we don't live close to each other. We are both 43 and I think I look good for my age and younger than many of my peers but everytime I see her I feel very deflated about my appearance, especially the bags and wrinkles under my eyes. Her face has barely changed since we were at university and she regularly gets taken for a lot younger and lots of compliments on her skin which is very youthful, smooth, plump and dewy.

She always did take a lot of care of it, never drinking or smoking and always even in the 90's wore sunscreen everyday. So I think she just has good genes and has had a great skincare regime since her teens.

As I said I think I'm ok compared to lots of women my age but wonder if I can somehow get a bit closer to the skin she has given where I am starting from especially by baggy and lines under eyes?

OP’s posts: |
FudgeBrownie2019 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:00:55

Start taking care of your own skin and you'll feel better.

Also, is it at all possible she's had a little additional help?

Itisbetter Fri 11-Sep-20 18:03:15

Nah, you need to rock your own not envy someone else’s.

purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 18:04:15

I know she's used retin a for 20 odd years. I tried it too but it dried out my skin and at the time I couldn't be bothered with having to use spf all the time.

OP’s posts: |
purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 18:06:07

@itisbetter, I try not to envy her she's a lovely person and always been a good friend. I was just always used to holding my own looks wise but these days its all going south.

OP’s posts: |
strappedup Fri 11-Sep-20 18:10:53


I know she's used retin a for 20 odd years. I tried it too but it dried out my skin and at the time I couldn't be bothered with having to use spf all the time.

there’s your problem. you should use SPF any time you step out of the house

AuntieMarys Fri 11-Sep-20 18:14:15

There's your answer. You've just said you can't be bothered with spf yet want skin like hers

purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 18:14:18

@strappedup, I know I know but I was young then and sunscreen wasn't so much a thing in the 90's and 2000's. I think most people didn't really use it except what was in their make up or moisturiser.

OP’s posts: |
purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 18:15:24

For the record, I've been wearing sunscreen for about 15 years daily now but it was too late for my skin. I don't remember anyone but her bothering with it at uni.

OP’s posts: |
purplepolarbear Fri 11-Sep-20 18:17:25

It wasn't clear in my last post but when I tried retin a on her recommendation it was when I was about 25. My skin was perfect then so all it did was dry me out and give me more lines. I still struggle to use it as it breaks me out and dries me up.

OP’s posts: |
strappedup Fri 11-Sep-20 18:42:16

ageing is a privilege smile

Delatron Fri 11-Sep-20 18:42:55

Ah with Retin A skin can get worse before it gets better (it normally does). If you get dryness back off for a few days and up then moisturiser.

The years of that plus the SPF and sun avoidance will have made a huge difference.

Emmnooo Fri 11-Sep-20 18:43:28

Loads and loads of people get Botox now and it’s not always obvious. Maybe she hasn’t but just saying I know lots of people who get it done and it makes a huge difference as they don’t have frown lines or creases that can be aging.

Delatron Fri 11-Sep-20 18:44:22

Plus if she was using Retin A 20 years ago and SPF at uni she is clearly very in to skin care! It’s only been on my radar for about 5 years.

BlueThistles Fri 11-Sep-20 18:45:55

which product Retin A do people actually use ?

and how do you use it ? before serums/moisturisers etc?

its a mystery I crave to unravel.

Delatron Fri 11-Sep-20 18:49:21

I use Dermatica. It’s a monthly subscription. You send pictures of your skin and they tailor it to you. So mine has niacinamide too for pigmentation. I do rate their formulas, I’ve had no peeling or irritation and use it most nights.

I started on retinol though first. Medik8 have good ones.

Then I picked up some Ketral in Portugal last year for 3 euros!! It’s 0.05% so used that for about a year but the formulation not as elegant as Dermatica.

Fluffycloudland77 Fri 11-Sep-20 19:03:17

I use dermatica too.

I was using unblock in 1999 too so she wasn’t alone.

MarshaBradyo Fri 11-Sep-20 19:05:13

SPF definitely helps but it’s also the luck of your genes

Manolin Fri 11-Sep-20 19:24:49

Genes are the biggest factor in life and death.

When it comes to plump, youthful skin there is one thing that does work. Flaxseed oil (aka linseed) in daily doses does have a significant impact over 20-30 years. Not a quick fix. More an investment.

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