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Being the one that keeps in touch

(8 Posts)
SalterWatcher Wed 09-Sep-20 14:01:22

I've been having this discussion with my counsellor and I don't know where it comes from but that's my thing to work out.

I find I'm the one that organises and keeps in touch with people - if I don't I guess I'm not sure when I might hear from people.

Is anyone else this person? The organiser then keeper in toucher? Do any of you have the fear if you didn't do it then you might not hear from these people again?

Or do you think that's just your role - or maybe others are not so bothered - you're not so important to them.

OP’s posts: |
Alongcameacat Wed 09-Sep-20 14:06:54

Some people are better at it than others. Unsure if they are extroverts or better organised or their kids are older......
I am very bad at staying in touch. If people didn’t contact me, I would probably never see them again yet when they contact me I am delighted!
I was always disorganised and quite shy. Nowadays my kids are demanding and I’m busy putting them before my own social life. Sadly I have lost touch with so many people.

Time40 Wed 09-Sep-20 14:42:44

Yes. And I stopped doing it - and you're right, OP: what happens is that you never hear from them, ever again. Loads of people, just gone forever.

Time40 Wed 09-Sep-20 14:45:29

If people didn’t contact me, I would probably never see them again yet when they contact me I am delighted!

I can believe that, actually. Some of my lost ones used to appear to be delighted. I just couldn't take the one-sidedness of it any more, though - and there is that awful suspicion that they care about you less than you care about them.

AfterSchoolWorry Wed 09-Sep-20 14:47:01

No, I never do.

LockdownLemon Wed 09-Sep-20 17:24:37

I used to be the organiser to keep in touch with my family, but gave up when I realised that not only it was a thankless task, they actually dislike me for it. I don't bother now and consequently I never see them; I'm not invited to theirs, and they would never suggest a coffee or a meal out. It makes me sad, but it is what it is.

SalterWatcher Wed 09-Sep-20 18:09:17

I did it for a period of time and got thoroughly depressed - so yes I'm the one organising the zoom calls (family and friends) I'm the one messaging the old NCT crew etc etc

I even organise family stuff - mainly on my own side - I must admit DH often organises his family too!

I'm definitely hugely extroverted but I'm also heart on sleeve! I also spread myself very thin across friends - I just crave the friendships!

OP’s posts: |
TattyMcBab Wed 09-Sep-20 18:12:11

I was the organiser. Turns out no one cares really. Have lost touch with loads of uni friends who said the right words but wouldn’t put themselves out. Likewise with local friends now, if the effort isn’t vaguely reciprocated (I’m not keeping tabs..) I don’t push it any more.

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