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What do you wish you’d been told when your DC started secondary?

(81 Posts)
NotExactlyHappyToHelp Wed 02-Sep-20 13:47:08

DS trotted off to his first day of year 7 today and I’m a big ball of nerves thinking there’s something we’ve forgotten to send him with or something we haven’t done. I can’t wait to go fetch him. It’s like the first day of primary all over again.

Is there anything you wish you’d have known when your DC made the move up? It’s so hands off compared to primary I feel a bit useless.

OP’s posts: |
mawbroon Wed 02-Sep-20 13:52:15

In 2 or 3 weeks, the attitude kicks in wink

Knittedfairies Wed 02-Sep-20 13:53:18

mawbroon

In 2 or 3 weeks, the attitude kicks in wink

I took far less than that here...

mawbroon Wed 02-Sep-20 13:54:54

Mine must be a slow learner 🤣

NotExactlyHappyToHelp Wed 02-Sep-20 13:57:23

mawbroon

In 2 or 3 weeks, the attitude kicks in wink

grin ah I was the Queen of teenage attitude so it’s only right I get some comeuppance.

OP’s posts: |
Yawningyawning Wed 02-Sep-20 13:59:01

Is he having school dinners? My DS had four hash browns for his first Y7 lunch last year. I would have liked to have reminded him to make good food choices!

Elisheva Wed 02-Sep-20 14:01:08

You won’t ever know anything. It’s not like junior school. They go, they come home - that’s all you will ever know!

bookmum08 Wed 02-Sep-20 14:17:17

How to access the online homework and how to actually top up parent pay.

Rockbird Wed 02-Sep-20 14:28:53

They'll eat sausage rolls for morning break and lunch unless you apply the brakes. I have DD1 a two week grace period where she could eat what she wanted and then limited her a bit on the crap. She knows I can see what she's bought but I she'll be telling me to mind my own business some time soon grin

DarkMintChocolate Wed 02-Sep-20 15:19:23

DS had burger and chips for lunch every day for Y7! This was before the era of healthy school lunches!

I should have paid more attention to his school diary - to see all the detentions he got, he never told me about or turned up for, as he decided not to bother with homework in Y8!

I should have asked more persistently for school letters - he never passed on the ones, he thought I didn’t need to know about!

NotExactlyHappyToHelp Wed 02-Sep-20 16:55:17

Elisheva

You won’t ever know anything. It’s not like junior school. They go, they come home - that’s all you will ever know!

I’m pretty sure his Junior school was just a front for a cult. I never heard a thing from him about what they did.

OP’s posts: |
NotExactlyHappyToHelp Wed 02-Sep-20 16:58:00

He went with a lunchbox today as I’ve not got any details for this parentpay malarkey (money in an envelope was so much easier) but I’ll make sure to check he’s not carb loading like he’s running a marathon when he does get on the school dinners.

@Yawningyawning four hash browns really tickled me. Bless him.

OP’s posts: |
Rockbird Wed 02-Sep-20 17:15:09

Yes to the knowing nothing. It's a shock after primary who never leave you alone (unless it's a cult grin). But all I get is silence from secondary. It's weird!

Namechangr9000 Wed 02-Sep-20 17:20:45

I can see online what my DD buys for lunch. I think there are ways to prevent them buying certain items but I'm definitely not mean enough to do that! Shes taking pack lunches now as the canteen is only opening limited times.

ReplacementPlasticUterus Wed 02-Sep-20 17:31:53

If you can, put a daily spend limit for school lunches or snacks. Mine gorged on bacon rolls, hash browns and something called pizza rolls for the first couple of weeks, in addition to taking a packed lunch. It was costing me a fortune!

Unfortunately I had a fair few calls from school in the first term - his Head of Year said they do sometimes go a bit silly when they start secondary. Thankfully he calmed down fairly quickly.

RuthW Wed 02-Sep-20 17:41:04

That yr 7 is the worst year and that they need a lot of help with homework as they aren't mature enough to do it without help. Year 8 is a doddle.

Longwhiskers14 Wed 02-Sep-20 17:56:52

Place-marking as mine starts tomorrow! She wants a packed lunch though, so we should swerve the hash brown carb loading. Although presumably lunches from home don't have to be as pedantically healthy as they were in primary?

HuaShan Wed 02-Sep-20 17:59:11

They will grow up very fast. They will be called a name by teachers that they would never be called at home. They will eat rubbish. Hopefully they will love it and come out the other end a rounded 18 year old.

Greenandcabbagelooking Wed 02-Sep-20 18:01:24

Longwhiskers14

Place-marking as mine starts tomorrow! She wants a packed lunch though, so we should swerve the hash brown carb loading. Although presumably lunches from home don't have to be as pedantically healthy as they were in primary?

No. I'm a secondary school teacher. I care not a jot if they have a packet of crisps in their lunch box. I might care if they have really awful things, or no lunch at all, but no one cares if they have a bit of junk food.

DinosApple Wed 02-Sep-20 18:03:59

These messages have calmed me down somewhat. DD starts tomorrow. The new yr7s have to have packed lunch - so she's mega disappointed!

Newgirls Wed 02-Sep-20 18:06:42

That they might love subjects and activities that you didn’t - it’s fun to watch them find out ‘their’ thing

That secondary teachers are a breath of fresh air compared to the ones from our day. I’m always impressed by the ones I meet and how they talk to your teen.

formerbabe Wed 02-Sep-20 18:08:06

I'd really be helping him with his organisation. It's a huge change from primary. Just things like the timetable, remembering his books and stationery is so new to them...from my experience. My ds started year seven last September

Longwhiskers14 Wed 02-Sep-20 18:08:20

Thanks for that, Greenandcabbagelooking. At primary the lunchtime staff used to pick through the boxes and take out anything they deemed unhealthy, so it's good to know they don't care at secondary!

itsgettingweird Wed 02-Sep-20 18:10:33

That they come down HARD on them for the first half a term.

That every single thing they do that's a considered an indiscretion will be punished.

That includes a pen running out of ink being classed as turning up without equipment.

NothingIsWrong Wed 02-Sep-20 18:14:20

Accept that you will not know their friend's parents anymore. My DD went from a tiny village primary school where I had known the vast majority of her year group since she was born to a 1500 place secondary a bus ride away. Now it's all "Lily's mum says I can come for tea" I'm all who the hell is Lily and where does she even live? Also a shock for the rural catchment - they can't get on each others buses so if she does want to go somewhere else miles away it relies on lifts.

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