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Banter or being an arsehole

(70 Posts)
Sixlargeeggs Sat 29-Aug-20 14:23:20

Both are men

Friend A writes on his facebook status

‘(Wife’s name is pregnant!’

Friend B writes on friend A status

‘Tell me who done it mate and I’ll sort them out’

Friend A blocks friend B

Arseholery or banter?

OP’s posts: |
OrangeGinLemonFanta Sat 29-Aug-20 14:25:36

Most of the time I think 'banter' is arseholery but (unless there's a massive backstory) this genuinely was just banter and A has overreacted a lot.

RedPandaFluff Sat 29-Aug-20 14:27:32

I think Friend B has been a teeny bit inappropriate given that Facebook is a very public forum, but Friend A has over-reacted. I reckon a more proportionate response would have been to remove or hide the comment from view if he didn't like it.

DrDetriment Sat 29-Aug-20 14:32:04

Banter. A overreacted. Not my sense of humour but I think B was just making a stupid joke. A should have deleted it and messaged B.

Sixlargeeggs Sat 29-Aug-20 14:35:50

I don’t get banter that’s why I’ve asked. I know A wife and my first thought that it was incredibly misogynistic and derogatory towards her but maybe I’m missing that it was a ‘joke’

OP’s posts: |
lovelymm Sat 29-Aug-20 14:37:42

Chavy, childish and pathetic.

Mintjulia Sat 29-Aug-20 14:39:15

Fairly standard bar room banter.

Unfortunately.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 29-Aug-20 14:40:26

B is a twat.

B has taken the shine off As life-changing news

B is one of those people I want to slap, hard.

B doesn't like other people to be happy.

B has to be sure to take at least some of the attention, positive or negative

B should remain blocked, everywhere!

Congratulations to A and wife flowers

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 29-Aug-20 14:41:16

That had line breaks and flowers when I typed it!!!!

Bunnymumy Sat 29-Aug-20 14:41:46

Banter.

If friend A had such a big stick up his arse, he shouldnt have shared his business all over social media.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 29-Aug-20 14:45:35

You're going to have to explain that Bunny!

Cos it makes you sound as daft and selfish as B... and surely that isn't possible?!?

CatBatCat Sat 29-Aug-20 14:46:31

It's both

Bunnymumy Sat 29-Aug-20 14:48:27

Funny that most people who have replied seem to agree with me though pp. Guess we must all be daft and selfish.

wheresmymojo Sat 29-Aug-20 14:48:48

B is a bit of a socially inappropriate dick.

A may have overreacted a bit.

It depends though TBH. I've just unfriended someone for something they said on FB but it wasn't just because of that. It was because it was one of a few views they've expressed recently which made me think they're not my cup of tea after all and the last thing they said was just another confirmation.

seven201 Sat 29-Aug-20 14:49:00

I think it's banter, but depends on the type of usual relationship of A and B and also B to the wife. I think it's a bit funny; I certainly wouldn't block anyone.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 29-Aug-20 14:51:43

It is mean spirited, not funny and dickish. So yes, banter. Pretty much all 'banter' is an excuse to be a twat in plain sight. And when it's something nasty, about someone's wife, at a happy time, so that the writer can laugh at their expense, blocking seems fair.

This shit only exists because we've been conditioned to believe that not getting offended is more important than not being an offensive arse.

RandomMess Sat 29-Aug-20 14:51:47

I think it was horrible tbh and yes very misogynistic, they could have had infertility issues or anything.

The only response should have been "congratulations"

Immigrantsong Sat 29-Aug-20 14:53:02

Obviously this wasn't received at the spirit intended, so makes me wonder if the 2 were close.

Usually with banter like that you would know if a mate would find it funny or not.

Guess they got their answer and will think more about making jokes in the future.

Also really don't agree with the view that those posting online should put up with any knobbish behaviour because they posted online. That actually says more about the people that believe this is ok.

Billben Sat 29-Aug-20 14:53:17

Banter. Juvenile, but my DH would have just laughed at that.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 29-Aug-20 14:53:39

You need to do a recount, Bunny!

Bunnymumy Sat 29-Aug-20 14:55:25

Hmm...nope. Most people still leaning towards it not being a big deal. Bit dickish yes, but nothing to cause such an over reaction as blocking.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 29-Aug-20 14:56:31

Billben

Banter. Juvenile, but my DH would have just laughed at that.


And that's the thing. A joke is when the other person laughs. Banter is when you snigger to yourself while pissing everyone else off.

In DH's circle they do this to each other. I had one of his mates insulting him to me yesterday on FB. They all do it and all find it funny. Wives and children are absolutely off limits and respected completely.

This twat was insulting his wife and child.

Thisismytimetoshine Sat 29-Aug-20 14:58:03

Bunnymumy

Hmm...nope. Most people still leaning towards it not being a big deal. Bit dickish yes, but nothing to cause such an over reaction as blocking.

You must mix with some right arseholes, if this is normal for you.

Bunnymumy Sat 29-Aug-20 14:59:38

No but if a mate said this to me jokingly I would take it in good humour as just being their way.

If they were an asshole then I wouldnt have them on my friends list in the first place. Or be sharing my business with them.

DustyMaiden Sat 29-Aug-20 14:59:47

Banter, just a silly joke. It needs to be said to someone with the same sense of humour.

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