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HELP!!!! 10 month old sleep

(10 Posts)
Horsebox36 Sun 23-Aug-20 20:19:23

Apologies in advance for the long post and thank you for reading.
I am at my wits end. DS is 10.5 months and has never been a good sleeper. I have just dealt with it as it's all I know and kept thinking, he'll grow out of it etc etc. However, I can't see this changing anytime soon.
Background- he is breastfed and we co-sleep. Not ideal I know, but it was the only way I could survive at the start and now here we are nearly a year later. I am worried that he will never sleep in his own cot, in his own room, without me.
He feeds to sleep - another bad habit, I know, and is a ridiculously light sleeper. If I merely move across the bed or dare to go to the toilet, he is wide awake, screaming. This has become all the more problematic since he has become so active and mobile. He wakes frequently and crawls around the bed, stands up on headboard etc. I therefore can't leave him as he would crawl off the bed. So I don't have any time to myself/ with partner in the evenings. I used to really love co-sleeping but it is becoming exhausting now.
Also, he has never been good at daytime naps - again, always fed to sleep or I literally have to walk for hours to get him to sleep in pram and he wakes as soon as I stop moving/ as soon as we arrive back home.
He is also not a great eater, and won't entertain formula so he won't take a bottle of formula to "fill him up at night" as people often tell me I should do. He is unbelievably stubborn and strong willed. Also, feel that he just wants ME and the boob for comfort as much as nourishment. Which is all very normal I imagine.
I just feel that I have enabled and nurtured very bad habits with him, and don't know how we will get out of this predicament.
In desperation, we brought his cot in and assembled it beside our bed...I have then been getting him to sleep on a blanket/my nightdress and trying to transfer him over once asleep. This most often results in him waking instantaneously, screaming and then we are back to square one. I know this is not a great idea as he is waking up in a different place to where he fell asleep so naturally will be upset.
I can't bear the idea of sleep training/leaving him to cry and in any case I don't think it would work for him.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you very much x

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Babymamamama Sun 23-Aug-20 20:27:04

You have my sympathy. Lots will disagree with me on here but I gave up breastfeeding at six months purely because DD was such a truly dreadful sleeper. I combined this with moving her into own room and own cot. It took a few months of going in regularly and soothing back to sleep, but we didn't look back. We never did the controlled crying thing. Having been the most god awful sleeper she's now a deep wonderful independent sleeper. Moving to bottle and own room were good moves for us.

Horsebox36 Sun 23-Aug-20 20:42:04

Thanks Babymamamama. That is great to hear. I sort of fear that I have missed the boat with bottles/formula, although maybe I just need to persevere?
I really do think that some babies are sleepers and some just aren't...as lots of my friends' breastfed babies are good sleepershmm?

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Babymamamama Sun 23-Aug-20 20:47:26

I think if the baby is a light sleeper sometimes you will disturb each other by sharing bed/room. I don't think you've missed the boat to stop breastfeeding but you have to be determined. If you mix bottle and breastfeeding some will tend to prefer the breast if that's still an option which is why I had to withdraw that option completely for my own sanity.

DoveGreylove Sun 23-Aug-20 20:50:12

OP
My baby was exactly the same. Didn't take a bottle either. I got so fed up of people telling me to give my baby formula to sleep better... Seriously.

I promise it will get better. It does get better.

I decided to go cold turkey on night feeds as I just flipped and realised I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't easy and I felt guilty but after that she started sleeping through the night.

Forevercurious Sun 23-Aug-20 21:07:54

@DoveGreylove what age did you just stop the night feeds?

My DS is 8 months, usually feeds to sleep and wakes twice a night. I’m so tired I just feed him back to sleep as it’s quicker and don’t think I have the energy to rock or pat him for hours. but I feel like I can’t continue this for much longer!

@Horsebox36 I don’t have the answers but you’re not alone flowers

Horsebox36 Sun 23-Aug-20 21:09:34

Thanks so much for your replies. Yeah, I think that's part of the problem...I don't think I'm determined enoughsad
Dove, yes I feel I need to stop the night feeds but what did you replace them with?! At the minute a feed is the only thing that gets him back to sleep pretty much straight away so in some ways it's the easy option...
I know/hope it will get better but I've heard about babies still being like this at 2, 3 yearsshock

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Horsebox36 Sun 23-Aug-20 21:11:24

Thanks Forevercuriousflowers

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Goodebe Sun 23-Aug-20 21:12:44

I’m in a near identical position Op
I feed to sleep in my bed at 8pm, 12 month old wakes for a feed 1am, has a good feed then sleeps until 5;30. It was two hourly or less until very recently when I started giving gavisgon sachet before bed - I think slight reflux was disturbing her. I don’t have a clue how I’ll get baby in her own room though... it’s awful when I need to get up for a wee, quick as possible before she crawls out of the bed!

Horsebox36 Sun 23-Aug-20 21:27:29

Thanks all, reassuring to know I'm not alone!grin
Goodebe, yes I literally have to sprint to the toilet and back! Ridiculous

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