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Challenging unhelpful thoughts - I’m Boring

(12 Posts)
cluelessinstyle Fri 21-Aug-20 19:03:08

I’m working on my mental health and have come to the conclusion that I need to improve my self esteem. The core belief I really need to change is “I’m boring”. My conversation mainly. Problem is I can’t think of any alternatives because I truly believe it.

Can anyone help me with some alternative thoughts to help me move forwards (I’ve been on a CBT waiting list for 10 months, thanks covid, still with no start date, so am battling on with self help).

Thankyou

OP’s posts: |
cluelessinstyle Fri 21-Aug-20 19:33:46

Ok, so I’m boring,
Knew it

OP’s posts: |
73kittycat73 Fri 21-Aug-20 20:34:54

'My thoughts and opinions are just as valid as anyone else's.'

smile

Namechange6005 Fri 21-Aug-20 20:41:23

I think it depends on the company you keep though. If I am talking to someone I don't quite gel with I can't really make the convo more interesting but if it's someone I click with then I have better responses.
I don't think anyone is boring when in the right company.

Quibblewibble Fri 21-Aug-20 20:41:24

I think this way about myself sometimes. I try to ask people more questions about them so that they do most of the talking x

UnitedRoad Fri 21-Aug-20 20:44:25

I echo what @73kittycat73 says, however -

Of course you’re not boring. The only boring people I’ve met, are completely unaware of themselves, and go on and on about something, without ever considering that not everyone’s interested. The fact that you’re even thinking that you are, means you can’t be

I bet that makes perfect sense.

Mummadeeze Fri 21-Aug-20 21:21:25

It can be hard to find things to talk about when you are not going anywhere or doing anything. To combat this, I have tried to watch a range of different films, watching the news more, reading more books, trying to watch programmes about topics I don’t know anything about. Hopefully this kind of thing will make my conversation more inspiring or interesting. I am very extrovert and social but sometimes I think up a mental list of things I can ask people or talk about before I meet them and if anything funny happens to me, I take a mental note to use it in a story at some point. Also - asking questions and listening to the answers will automatically make people warm to you and they won’t think you are boring. My Mum thinks she is boring but she really isn’t. And I bet you aren’t either.

cluelessinstyle Fri 21-Aug-20 21:28:05

Thank you everyone for spending your time helping me. The problem is I also have social anxiety, so I don't talk to people because I truly believe I have nothing of any interest to say, so I don't say anything.

OP’s posts: |
AuntieStella Fri 21-Aug-20 21:30:41

In the short term, reframe as

'I'm a fantastic listener. People love to talk to me because of the way I listen'

lockdownsunflowers Fri 21-Aug-20 21:36:47

Boring is global and overgeneralised. Perhaps break it down into more specific things which could either be disproved if all in your head or worked on positively skills-wise

EveryDayIsLikeMonday Fri 21-Aug-20 21:42:00

What are you interested in? I have some quite 'boring' interests but I'm passionate about them so I tell ppl about them even if they're not interested grin
Could you take an online course or start a new hobby to give yourself something different to take about?
Like others have said, most boring ppl don't actually know they're boring smile
I don't know if this would be helpful or not but this personality test gives you positives and negatives. I found it really accurate and gave me something to think about https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Odile13 Fri 21-Aug-20 22:00:39

Hi OP, have you found any useful self help books? A few I like on this topic are:

Confidence by Katie Piper

I Can Do It by Louise Hay (this one helps with affirmations to change your thinking about yourself)

I used to think very negatively about myself and have a running commentary which wasn’t supportive but over time I’ve changed this (largely by reading self help, doing positive affirmations and just generally being kind and gentle with myself). I hope you find something that helps you feel better - best wishes.

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